snkhuong1 Posted February 3, 2019 Posted February 3, 2019 I've been on a few dates from online dating apps, and in the most 4 recent dates, I made out with the girls (kissing, tongue kissing, touching in private parts). But then after the date, all of them say we have no chemistry/not on the same vibe... I'm very confused because I thought the date went well (why would they kiss me other wise). Some of them even made the first move and kiss me. The most recent one basically let me touch her private parts. Then later she said I'm not her type. I was confused. When I walked her off to the station (knowing I'd never see her again), she even gave me a deep french kiss. I'm not ugly by any means. If anything, people have said I'm good looking all the time. But this no chemistry thing is killing me, because I don't know what I did wrong and what needs to be changed. I need advice. Thanks.
Author snkhuong1 Posted February 3, 2019 Author Posted February 3, 2019 Not a good kisser. We kissed for like a minute straight and it was so long I had to break it off first. I don't think it's the kissing, because I've kissed so many girls by now that it's all natural.
DrNo1962 Posted February 3, 2019 Posted February 3, 2019 I've been on a few dates from online dating apps, and in the most 4 recent dates, I made out with the girls (kissing, tongue kissing, touching in private parts). But then after the date, all of them say we have no chemistry/not on the same vibe... I'm very confused because I thought the date went well (why would they kiss me other wise). Some of them even made the first move and kiss me. The most recent one basically let me touch her private parts. Then later she said I'm not her type. I was confused. When I walked her off to the station (knowing I'd never see her again), she even gave me a deep french kiss. I'm not ugly by any means. If anything, people have said I'm good looking all the time. But this no chemistry thing is killing me, because I don't know what I did wrong and what needs to be changed. I need advice. Thanks. They may find you attractive [physically] and therefore the kiss-close isn't something they would shy away from if they are quite sexually liberal. HOWEVER, kissing a girl on a date is not everything and certainly isn't a guarantee for a second date. Perhaps, what you have to offer these girls [value] beyond your looks is not enough for them to want more dates. Maybe you come off as being a little too aloof/unattainable and they think they'll never have a chance with you beyond a few dates so they cut you loose (I'm just surmising here, there are numerous possibilities). Women want safe/dependable men they can trust above all else, particularly if what you/they are after is a serious LTR.
Lotsgoingon Posted February 4, 2019 Posted February 4, 2019 Uh ... the chemistry they're talking about could easily be the general feeling they have with you ... before you kiss. Kissing doesn't necessarily make chemistry. Most likely, they kissed you and you kissed them without having a lot of chemistry (connection and energy) during the date. Here's the thing ... relax ... you don't have to kiss at the end of a date. What you what is to have a date where you think the conversation and energy is amazing ... I'm sensing you're kissing women just because it's part of a playbook--instead of focusing on those with whom you have good energy.
edgygirl Posted February 4, 2019 Posted February 4, 2019 I agree with smackie. If they got to kiss you, there was some chemistry there. It must be something about the way you kiss being off. Also, you touched their private parts on the first date? Perhaps they found it a little creepy and got turned off? 1
preraph Posted February 4, 2019 Posted February 4, 2019 It's hard to know. Can I ask if after making out with them, you start talking about anything in particular or acting cocky or acting overly grateful or anything that might have turned them off? Now, there are guys, few and far between, you might want to make out with but not date. Because they're hot but they're hot messes.
DrNo1962 Posted February 4, 2019 Posted February 4, 2019 I agree with smackie. If they got to kiss you, there was some chemistry there. It must be something about the way you kiss being off. Also, you touched their private parts on the first date? Perhaps they found it a little creepy and got turned off? Agreed. The vast vast majority of women do not want foreplay on a first date. Nothing wrong with a deep kiss and warm embrace [holding her close], but the private part touching gives off a creeper vibe and shows you have little self-control/boundaries. 2
Interstellar Posted February 4, 2019 Posted February 4, 2019 I would kiss her on the lips on the second date instead. Just a peck. Leave them wanting more.
SugarLips72 Posted February 4, 2019 Posted February 4, 2019 (edited) I agree you are probably a bad kisser. Why are you touching private parts on first dates? Tongue kissing shouldn’t happen at first and many Guys are sloppy and terrible at it. I just had a experience with one and I stopped seeing him. He was 45 years old and I’m sure he’s kisssed many women yet he was horrible. Edited February 4, 2019 by SugarLips72 1
Stormysea2 Posted February 5, 2019 Posted February 5, 2019 So sorry this is happening to you but it really does sound like it has to do with the kissing. Luckily this is something you can improve. If you can get up the nerve to ask one of these girls if it was the kissing that would be really helpful. Good kissing can be taught. Perhaps one of your dates would be willing to help you out in that regard? It could be fun. I’ve gone from being totally turned on to turned off after a bad kiss on more than one occasion. It really can be a dealbreaker. If one of these guys had asked me if the kiss had anything to do with it I would’ve told them so but I didn’t want to volunteer such information.
BaileyB Posted February 5, 2019 Posted February 5, 2019 It’s hard to say what you have done “wrong...” And, to each their own... if she is French kissing you and telling you that she wants you to touch her private parts, far be it for me to tell you to do otherwise... But, in absolutely no way am I going to French kiss or touch a strangers private parts/encourage him touch me on a first date. That’s too much, too soon, in my very humble opinion. Do you actually take the time and show an interest to get to know the woman before getting physical? Do you flirt with her, tease her and make her laugh, and build any sexual tension. Because, that is the truly fun part of dating. As someone said earlier, find the right moment to have that first kiss and leave her wanting more... Women are not hard to figure out... we generally like men who make us feel good. If you can find a way to make her feel smart and sexy, if you can make her laugh such that she is having fun with you, and then if you can build some sexual tension... you will have them coming back for more. 1
Lotsgoingon Posted February 5, 2019 Posted February 5, 2019 In my experience, if someone doesn't like your kiss ... they will tell you and try to teach you how to kiss in a way they like. So I'm back to there really wasn't chemistry. Oh ... but make sure you're covering the basics ... Bad breath will run people away ... absolutely ... so make sure you carry some mints or chewing gum with you for the date. Just a thought--not saying you have bad breath. BTW: the problem is that there have been times my breath has been bad and I didn't know it ...
TheFinalWord Posted February 5, 2019 Posted February 5, 2019 I tend to agree it's likely the way you are kissing. Normally, how well you can kiss also correlates highly with other physical aspects, if you know what I mean. Kissing is a sort of harmless way to assess how good you will be in physical intimacy. Most men just plow right in. What you need to do is create tension. For example, kissing, then pulling away to create tension. I can't really explain it well on here. But they are kissing you to assess chemistry not because you have chemistry. They could be attracted by you, but I can't tell you the number of really attractive women I have kissed that are terrible kissers. I wanted them to be good at it because they were so attractive, but I don't really feel like explaining it and it's a pretty sensitive topic I've had many women basically make moves like that on the first date. Some can be really aggressive, especially if there is strong attraction. But, you could also be saying stuff to turn them off. Hard to tell because you are basing it all off the physical kiss. 1
Cersei Posted February 5, 2019 Posted February 5, 2019 The first thing that comes to mind for me is that she was really horny and just wanted a bit of fun. Then realized no maybe not with this guy. We don't click. 1
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