Lobouspo Posted February 3, 2019 Posted February 3, 2019 So Jan 29 was my birthday and my fiancee gave me a hand painting on rustic wood. We went out on my birthday and I had left it in the gift bag in my car trunk and had forgotten to take it out. Sure enough, it came out of the bag and cracked. I feel awful about it and have profusely apologized, but she is not talking to me. How do I right this situation? Any advice would be greatly appreciated
Wallysbears Posted February 3, 2019 Posted February 3, 2019 Put it back together as best you can and still display it prominently. She’s likely just upset because she put time into it. Accidents happen. You didn’t break it on purpose. 3
Art_Critic Posted February 3, 2019 Posted February 3, 2019 It sounds like the issue isn't the broken art but the fact you left it in your car so long that is got damaged, meaning it didn't mean enough to you for you to remove it and hang it, her feelings are hurt... What to do, first off.. did she do the art herself ? can you get it repaired ? The best thing you could do is sincerely apologize and then show thru your actions that you care for her, she sees this incident and you not caring for her. and by sincerely.. you need to address not only the broken art but also the hurt you caused by not taking it out of your car and hanging it.. BTW.. time will also do wonders for this.. you didn't eff up beyond fixing it... Good Luck 1
BaileyB Posted February 3, 2019 Posted February 3, 2019 You do nothing. It was a mistake and you have apologized. If she really wants you to have it, she can make you another... seriously, if the woman you intend to marry dumps you because you forgot her gift in the car and it was damaged... well then, she really doesn’t love you very much at all. 1
TheFinalWord Posted February 3, 2019 Posted February 3, 2019 If she breaks off a marriage over that, then I think you dodged a bullet. What you did was kind of careless, but not done on purpose and a genuine accident. 2
BaileyB Posted February 3, 2019 Posted February 3, 2019 and by sincerely.. you need to address not only the broken art but also the hurt you caused by not taking it out of your car and hanging it.. Sure, but let’s also address the fact that she is giving him the silent treatment over something that given a bit of perspective, isn’t really a big deal. It’s life, people make mistakes. When presented with an opportunity to be the bigger person, accept the apology that was offered, and offer forgiveness in return... she has chosen to respond rather immaturely. Which is why I would apologize, try to make amends, and then let it go. The rest is up to her. This is a good window into the kind of person you are dealing with OP...
Author Lobouspo Posted February 3, 2019 Author Posted February 3, 2019 If she breaks off a marriage over that, then I think you dodged a bullet. What you did was kind of careless, but not done on purpose and a genuine accident. Yeah, I mean I feel bad and I was definitely careless. I plan on taking it to a place that fixes damaged art and hopefully save it. Other than that, I really dont know what else I can do
Noproblem Posted February 4, 2019 Posted February 4, 2019 Well, if someone left you over a gift left in the back, then they surely don't love you enough. 1
preraph Posted February 4, 2019 Posted February 4, 2019 Yes, have it put back together. If it's not in crumbles, it should look fine. If this is an actual old work of art or something like that, who knows, it might have been that delicate that it isn't even your fault. 1
mortensorchid Posted February 4, 2019 Posted February 4, 2019 It's not your fault, you didn't intentionally damage it. She should realize that. I'm sure she is upset now, but it will blow over. Try to glue it back together (or whatever happened to it) and tell her you didn't mean to and put it on display in your house. If she's still bent out of shape about it, something not right. 1
bathtub-row Posted February 4, 2019 Posted February 4, 2019 I agree that if she breaks up with you over something like that, then the marriage wouldn't be very stable. 2
Lotsgoingon Posted February 4, 2019 Posted February 4, 2019 Your action isn't a crime. She can get over this ... and if she can't, she's not the right person for you ... A really cool partner would comfort you about your distress ... instead of trying to make you feel guilty. And your job is to thank her for the gift, not feel like dirt that it got cracked. 2
Highndry Posted February 4, 2019 Posted February 4, 2019 It sounds like she's ignoring you and pouting - essentially punishing you. Pay strict attention to what's going on here, because this may not be the sort of woman you want to marry. 1
Gretchen12 Posted February 4, 2019 Posted February 4, 2019 If you fight dirty then you tell her that she painted on bad wood, what kind of wood breaks if you just leave it in the car? Was probably broken already when she gave it to you, and is her love for you is as fragile as her gift? Act all indignant and it's no fair that you now have no gift and demand that she paints another one on better wood or else! Haha... or you can just be sorry and she be angry. 2
Els Posted February 4, 2019 Posted February 4, 2019 She hasn't talked to you since Jan 29...?? I can understand her being upset for one night or so, but 6 days is really excessive. If you've already apologized and she's STILL not talking to you, I'd have some serious doubts about going ahead with this marriage. 2
elaine567 Posted February 4, 2019 Posted February 4, 2019 My guess is that the damage to the painting has been used by the fiancee as a representation of what is wrong in the relationship. It may be a seemingly trivial mistake but it may, for her, be highlighting deeper and more serious issues. Taking things for granted, unfocused, scatty, inattention to detail, no appreciation of other's feelings, selfishness, carelessness, unreliabilty...etc. etc. all bundled up in an oversight that resulted in damage to something she cared about... if he can't take care of a painting, can he take care of her?... sort of thinking... maybe even last straw... 1
Els Posted February 4, 2019 Posted February 4, 2019 My guess is that the damage to the painting has been used by the fiancee as a representation of what is wrong in the relationship. It may be a seemingly trivial mistake but it may, for her, be highlighting deeper and more serious issues. Taking things for granted, unfocused, scatty, inattention to detail, no appreciation of other's feelings, selfishness, carelessness, unreliabilty...etc. etc. all bundled up in an oversight that resulted in damage to something she cared about... if he can't take care of a painting, can he take care of her?... sort of thinking... maybe even last straw... If that's her concern, she might want to talk about it instead of dumping him silently? That sort of behaviour is what you'd do to a first date who didn't past muster, not a fiance.
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