Redomylife Posted February 2, 2019 Posted February 2, 2019 My mom had asked me if it was ok If my ex girlfriend came to Disneyland with me and our family. We dated since 2016 We broke up in December 2018 My sisters becsme friends with her a month after we first dated. I was pissed but didn't wanna look like a control or a whiny freak so I just said " I guess " But truthfully it pisses me off because the knew she had cheated on me for a year with an old H. S friend of mine. Does anything seem odd about family wanting to remain friends with their sons cheating girlfriend? Is it possible that they knew the whole yime she was cheating or what? Guys help me out have anyone family on redfit syill talks with your cheating ex or current partner too? Has ANYONE ON HERE EVER BEEN IN THIS SITUATION OR SIMILIAR? ADVICE PLEASE?
tojaz Posted February 2, 2019 Posted February 2, 2019 Does your mom know why you broke up? I would explain to your family how you feel and why. I'm sure they will not want to put you in a bad position.
usa1ah Posted February 2, 2019 Posted February 2, 2019 Never been is this situation man. My parents and sisters always were there for me. You did the right thing about saying it was ok. It really is their choice who they want to invite. Just tell you family to have fun in Disneyland. Seeing how they prefer your cheating ex to your company that you will not be going. Do not show they you are upset in anyway. If they ask or fuss just tell them that your will not spend your time with a cheater that was so calluse is the way she treated you.
usa1ah Posted February 2, 2019 Posted February 2, 2019 Tell them to have fun with a smile and go about your own business.
Author Redomylife Posted February 2, 2019 Author Posted February 2, 2019 Does your mom know why you broke up? I would explain to your family how you feel and why. I'm sure they will not want to put you in a bad position. Yes they know
Author Redomylife Posted February 2, 2019 Author Posted February 2, 2019 Never been is this situation man. My parents and sisters always were there for me. You did the right thing about saying it was ok. It really is their choice who they want to invite. Just tell you family to have fun in Disneyland. Seeing how they prefer your cheating ex to your company that you will not be going. Do not show they you are upset in anyway. If they ask or fuss just tell them that your will not spend your time with a cheater that was so calluse is the way she treated you. Oh ok thank you
Simple Logic Posted February 2, 2019 Posted February 2, 2019 Seems very odd to me. You should have spoke up when asked. 1
Author Redomylife Posted February 2, 2019 Author Posted February 2, 2019 Seems very odd to me. You should have spoke up when asked. Theyve always invited her along on things while we were still dating
Author Redomylife Posted February 2, 2019 Author Posted February 2, 2019 Tell them to have fun with a smile and go about your own business. Is that what you'd do ??
d0nnivain Posted February 2, 2019 Posted February 2, 2019 Your family probably did not know the whole time she was cheating but if you think they may have, you need to ask them about it. When they asked you if it was OK for her to come along you should have stuck up for yourself & said No. Not wanting to spend time with somebody who betrayed you is having boundaries, not being whiney. At this point I think you need to tell your family how you feel & why. Then you need to get your parents to uninvite her.
tojaz Posted February 2, 2019 Posted February 2, 2019 I think your mom was trying to do the right thing by asking you first if they still value her as a friend, but still a pretty bad move on their part and the thought should have really never entered their mind. I agree with d0nnivain and say it's time to tell them how you feel and let them make a decision with all the information. If it were me, anything short of an immediate call to your ex to cancel would result in me vacationing solo this year. 1
Author Redomylife Posted February 2, 2019 Author Posted February 2, 2019 (edited) Yes I agree at least she asked first. Im sure this type of stuff happens a lot WITHOUT the cheated child being adked first. Am I right ? Edited February 2, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator removed quote
Author Redomylife Posted February 2, 2019 Author Posted February 2, 2019 Your family probably did not know the whole time she was cheating but if you think they may have, you need to ask them about it. When they asked you if it was OK for her to come along you should have stuck up for yourself & said No. Not wanting to spend time with somebody who betrayed you is having boundaries, not being whiney. At this point I think you need to tell your family how you feel & why. Then you need to get your parents to uninvite her. Got a week left but yeah I should. Im surprised they didnt invite my ex friend too
tojaz Posted February 2, 2019 Posted February 2, 2019 Yes I agree at least she asked first. Im sure this type of stuff happens a lot WITHOUT the cheated child being adked first. Am I right ? I wouldn't think it's terribly common but wouldn't say it is all that rare either. When a person is a part of your life for several years it's not always easy to cut ties cleanly. That doesn't just go for the principals in the relationship but family and friends as well. Your Family is used to having your ex be a part of their lives and will have to undergo an adjustment period of their own that will be separate from yours. I wouldn't take any offense to them asking and just chalk it up to a misstep out of not having moved on completely and missing their friend. If they persist once you have told them your feelings, that would be a different matter entirely.
whichwayisup Posted February 3, 2019 Posted February 3, 2019 This your family holiday too. IF you don't want her to come, speak up! Your feelings should be more important than your ex's. I find it really odd that your folks are still friendly (and invited her on a trip too!) with her after she cheated and hurt you. If she ends up going, don't let her ruin your time. Be courteous and keep your distance when you can. You have every right to be pissed off about it and soon you need to have a conversation with your parents about how you feel. 1
preraph Posted February 3, 2019 Posted February 3, 2019 You should have said no. If you are right about the situation and carrying the cards, then you should have the courage to sit your whole family down and tell them why it is toxic of them to bring the women who cheated on you around when it was very hard to deal with. Climb up their butts about it.
Author Redomylife Posted February 3, 2019 Author Posted February 3, 2019 You should have said no. If you are right about the situation and carrying the cards, then you should have the courage to sit your whole family down and tell them why it is toxic of them to bring the women who cheated on you around when it was very hard to deal with. Climb up their butts about it. Carrying the cards ??
bathtub-row Posted February 3, 2019 Posted February 3, 2019 I wouldn’t go on the vacation if my cheating ex went. I’d also ask my family why on earth they’d think I’d be ok with it. My son dated a girl for about 4 yrs. I really liked her and her family. I talk to her about once or twice a year - she wishes me happy birthday, etc. But she never cheated on my son, they were just incompatible. I don’t even socialize with her because my son always comes first, and I wouldn’t even dream of inviting her to something that my son would be at. I really don’t know what your family is thinking by supporting this person. What she did to you should’ve been a complete dealbreaker for them. 1
Clay Posted February 4, 2019 Posted February 4, 2019 The only way your going to get passed this with them is to deal with it straight on. I would call your mom or go see her. I would tell her you have had some time to think about this and you decided If is in fact coming on the trip that you will have to pass on going. Your mom will probably ask why this is where I would explain to her how she cheated on you in great detail. She is probably being told you made this up and that isn't true. Cheaters always diminish the horrible things they have done. After you have explained it I would be honest with her if they do stay friends with her then it might be best that you back away from them. You cant force them to do anything. You can set yourself up with great boundaries. Sure that comes at a cost some times but its really worth it. I am sorry your even in this spot its really amazing just how many people lack morals. C 1
darkmoon Posted February 4, 2019 Posted February 4, 2019 I agree with everybody and Disneyland is a silly place, if they were all going somewhere great, ok, meh... time to find some new friends...
Recommended Posts