QueenMay Posted February 2, 2019 Posted February 2, 2019 Hello! One month ago I met a guy online (he's kind of nerdy). We clicked right away - our meetings were few hours long, same sense of humour, interests, he was respectful, consistent and caring, there was a chemistry. I never met a men like that before. He was a bit quirky (in harmless way I thought) and he had some OCD behaviours (he told me about it) but I didn't think it's something serious. After the last date when we were going back from the date (it was quite late) he told me to go to the other side of the street and he looked scared. Then he told me "I thought this man (who was passing by) had a bomb" i got very scared and now I don't know what to do. I got scared of him and didn't say much till the end of the date. Later I asked him through texts what's going on and he said that this guy had a package and he heard ticking (I didn't hear anything), then that he was joking. No I am worried that he is paranoid or has another mental illness and I don't know how to act now.
ExpatInItaly Posted February 2, 2019 Posted February 2, 2019 That is very strange, yes. If he had you actually go the other side of the street, I am going to assume he was not joking. He didn't seem to realize how odd his behaviour was until you asked him about it and made it clear you heard no ticking or otherwise saw any signs that someone was carrying a bomb. To him, though, it was likely very real in that moment.. What are the OCD behaviours he's told you about? You also say he is quirky - how so? There's not enough information here to suggest he suffers from paranoia (in the clinical sense) but I would definitely be concerned.
Gretchen12 Posted February 2, 2019 Posted February 2, 2019 This is what can happen when you meet men online. Try not to contradict him and just fade out quietly. I hope he doesn't have your address.
d0nnivain Posted February 2, 2019 Posted February 2, 2019 If you want to continue dating, do nothing. Act as if this never happened. See if he does something like this again. If that was enough for you, tell him this isn't working out then stop talking to him. 1
Versacehottie Posted February 2, 2019 Posted February 2, 2019 Not to diagnose but that sounds like schizophrenia.The paranoia, the stuff it's about. It usually starts to show in late teens, early 20s and more men than women have it. If it's not that, it's very weird anyway. I don't think you "owe" him anything. If you are not comfortable dating him, don't date him. Good luck
Lotsgoingon Posted February 2, 2019 Posted February 2, 2019 Basically 99 percent likelihood he is troubled or has severe mental illness. There's a 1 percent chance this was a freak thing ... Actually let me revise this ....99.99 percent chance he's troubled .... .1 percent chance this was a freak thing ... Usually in circumstances that are legit, you would GET later why he acted like he did. You would immediately feel the validity of what he's saying. You don't. Run ... Or as someone else said, you can go out again, but this time, all radar should be turned up high ... to notice ANY strangeness. Any! ... and then run.
Author QueenMay Posted February 2, 2019 Author Posted February 2, 2019 (edited) That is very strange, yes. If he had you actually go the other side of the street, I am going to assume he was not joking. He didn't seem to realize how odd his behaviour was until you asked him about it and made it clear you heard no ticking or otherwise saw any signs that someone was carrying a bomb. To him, though, it was likely very real in that moment.. What are the OCD behaviours he's told you about? You also say he is quirky - how so? There's not enough information here to suggest he suffers from paranoia (in the clinical sense) but I would definitely be concerned. I am sure he was not joking. I was actually waiting for him to laugh but it did not happen. OCD behaviours he told me about are - he pays attention to grammar and speaking correctly and he is checking if he closed the door multiple times. He also didn't like to me walk on the side of the street when we were walking together. I thought he was quirky as he's thinking differently than other people I know, he's working in robotic field and has very analytical mind. 0. Update: I told him I am concerned with this situation. At first he said that it was indeed irrational and make a joke that 'mabe he's getting crazy' (not very funny..) and then that he was joking (we both know he didn't). He said he does not want to push me but would like to meet me once again so he can explain himself but if I don't want to, that he is sorry I judged him that way but wishes me all the best and he's happy he could meet me. Edited February 2, 2019 by QueenMay
Kelliousme Posted February 2, 2019 Posted February 2, 2019 Honestly, this would creep me out. Obviously he wasn't "joking" so it's quite concerning that he would think the man had a bomb on him. It's just not normal and it may be because he does have some sort of mental illness. So if I were you and everything was just really PERFECT prior to this incident, I'd continue to see him. But make sure to be guarded. HOWEVER, there's one problem. So when he switch sides with you did he move you to the side where the man was or did he move you away from the man? If he moved you towards the man who he thought had a bomb on him, run from this guy lol. Get the HELL AWAY.
Author QueenMay Posted February 2, 2019 Author Posted February 2, 2019 I am thinking if it's possible that this situation is linked with his OCD. I know OCD is also a mental illness but I believe it's less severe than paranoia. I know the easiest would be to just quit but I have anxiety disorder myself and I feel sorry for him.
Normm Posted February 3, 2019 Posted February 3, 2019 I'm thinking it's not going to be an effective combination of mood disorders. He'll watch old ladies walking down the street and be seeing space aliens and you'll suffer from anxiety that you'll be abducted at any moment. It's never going to work.
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