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Why does my boyfriend do this to me?


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Posted

So, my boyfriend asked me to help out with his house’s electricity readings because he is away for work and I don’t have the keys... so he asked his realtor to pass me the keys.. but he said “my friend” instead of girlfriend... and I’m pissed lol. And he said she’s just a realtor doesn’t matter lol. He even said “don’t act like I never introduced you to my friends”. The point is he knew that am gonna say something when he stated “my friend” but why did he still do it then? I know it’s a small matter to be angry at but I don’t know it just triggers me.

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Posted

Is the realtor hot? This can be concerning because partners never call their bf/gf their "friend".

Posted

Maybe it’s as simple as not complicating the relationship with landlords/building management. Usually you have to notify when someone moves in. A friend is less likely to move in than a girlfriend. He just doesn’t want them snooping or so.

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Posted
Maybe it’s as simple as not complicating the relationship with landlords/building management. Usually you have to notify when someone moves in. A friend is less likely to move in than a girlfriend. He just doesn’t want them snooping or so.

 

My partner and I do not live together. When I met his landlord he introduced me as his gf, no complications because of that....

Posted

The realtor should be kept out of your personal life and be told the minimum. Telling her you are his girlfriend is sharing extra info with her. But you already knew that. You are upset because you want him to share this info with everyone. You want him to tell the world you are his girlfriend. Do you have doubt?

 

Try to keep the relationship even. You're making it seem like you want to be his gf more than he wants to be your bf. You're fighting to be recognized. And he said don't act like he never introduced you to his friends, as if that'd be doing you a favor? He knows you want his acceptance badly and that's not balanced.

Posted

I don't know how long you've been seeing this guy, but it sounds to me like you are still in the early stages of a relationship and associated anxiety that should go away once the relationship is well-established and you would be feeling fulfilled without looking for "all the little" signs of validation.

 

I'd say this is a symptom of a larger issue -- you aren't really sure where you stand in the relationship because your BF isn't demonstrating himself clearly and/or consistently.

 

Is this guy really making you happy and feel like his girlfriend overall? Or are you stringing yourself along and putting in more effort than he is?

Posted

Cool anecdote?

 

My partner and I do not live together. When I met his landlord he introduced me as his gf' date=' no complications because of that....[/quote']
Posted

How long have you been together?

Posted

He used the wrong word. It is not some subconscious way of disavowing your relationship. Chill

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Posted

So does his wording in this case reflect other doubts you've had?

 

I mean ... since you were going out of your way to do a favor for him ... I think a sharp guy would use the wording you prefer.

 

Confession and bias: I was one of those guys who picked words extremely carefully, so I'm suspicious of when people refer to a partner as a "friend." Or let me put it like this ... when I was really into someone, I didn't have to announce whether they were a friend or not, the person hearing me talk would pick up that I was dating this person by the tone of my voice and enthusiasm.

 

I know a man who once hid the fact that he was married by describing the person he was married to as his "partner." He was deliberately avoiding the word "wife" because he hadn't told the new woman in his life that he was married.

 

My guess is this isn't the first time you have felt like your bf doesn't fully embrace the relationship. If so, red flag.

Posted

When you meet the realtor just introduce yourself as his GF.

Posted

Has he said “my friend” to other people? How long have you been dating?

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