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Online Dating Convo - How To Escalate It?


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Posted (edited)

I have been chatting with a woman I'm interested in from Match.com for over a week now, and discovered we share a lot of common ground and similar interests. After a few messages I asked for their e-mail ( I'm so 2019 lol) but they gave me it.

I still ask questions about them on e-mail and they ask about me, but I am conscious now about the next step.

 

It's the furthest I've been on a dating platform so far but afraid of blowing it or initiating something but they're not ready. Like one message I said "there's a lot to do in X city, discovered all places to eat yet" but they didn't reply to that. They say their shy in their profile. Many times I thought they didn't want to chat anymore but they'd reply few days later, so I think maybe e-mail isn't great for them.

 

What can I do to do my best to make the conversation forward and feel like it's going somewhere? It feels that way but I know I have to initiate things as a guy, when I haven't before things just fizzle up.

 

Haven't done this before so any advice appreciated :)

Edited by Stuckdude
Posted

You should have asked her out after a few messages from each side. There’s no point writing long essays by email.

Posted

Call them , just ask if they'd like a call and get on the phone .

lf you get along good , hopefully even great, ask them out for a coffee or something.

Posted

You do realize, that other guys that started talking to these ladies after you, are already meeting them this weekend. Things move pretty fast for women. There are always new guys and no one has time to keep 50 conversations going for weeks.

Posted

It's already going on for too long. You should have made plans to meet up already. Otherwise, she's stringing you along.

Posted

In future, ask her out .... short meeting it can be ... early ... no long talks and email exchanges ... ask her out ... The more you're emailing her, the more you are friend-zoning yourself ...

 

Look the email is only a setup for meeting her. Don't take the email itself seriously ... Hi, this is me ... great to exchange messages. I would like to invite you to coffee this week ... Tuesday and Thursday work for me.

 

You need to get to a "date" and the date itself is "escalation."

Posted

Speaking as a woman on dating sites, I would have wanted you to ask me out by now. So many guys message and message and message and never take the next step. It’s very frustrating. Most women don’t want a Penpal, they want someone to ask them out!

Posted

Why are you referring to this woman as "they" and "them"?

Posted

Ask her out, if she is interested, she will accept, if not the interest wasn't there to begin w/. I was always very forward when online dating because long convos usually led to the guys ghosting me. I asked them out and if they weren't interested, I stopped talking to them.

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