Tygris Posted September 17, 2005 Posted September 17, 2005 i am getting the feeling that the way i act is causing problems for me and my girlfriend, it just doesnt seem like i can do anything correctly when it is her time of month. since i dont possess a handbook or set of guidelines to follow, i figured i would ask the people of the world what they think. just how should i act when she is going through this time so that i dont risk making things worse? any and ALL advice is appreciated, i will sift through it and formulate a plan of action. i might have to change some of my current behaviors and i might just have to learn to tolerate some of hers, but she is the most important person to me and i will do anything that i have to make things work. thanks in advance.
whichwayisup Posted September 17, 2005 Posted September 17, 2005 What happens during those times of the month? How does she treat you? The thing is, even though hormones can and DO take over, (I speak for myself on this one...Not answering this for all women...) she still has some control over what comes out of her mouth and how she acts. During those times she should be alone. Just let her do her thing. Even if that means you hang out with your buddies for afew days on and off. All I know is I tell my husband if I'm feelin' grumpy and give him warning...That doesn't happen too often but sometimes I DO feel bitchy and he respects that...Now, if he plays around for a laugh, (which he loves to do at times...) I know he doesn't mean anything by it, he's just trying to make me feel better, though if I get grumpy with him he can't and isn't allowed to take it personally. Kinda, you play with the Bull, Ya get the Horns ... You shouldn't have to walk on egg shells constantly, but you can change afew things that could set her off. Be more considerate of eachother...I hope she gives you the same kind of consideration you're looking to give to her. I think it's neat that you're posting here and asking for help on the this situation of yours...Many men wouldn't.
Author Tygris Posted September 17, 2005 Author Posted September 17, 2005 it just seems that when i try to make her smile or do something nice for her to make her feel better that its harder to get the end result i wanted. like what i do isnt enough. and she has said that she gets very irrational during this time and that she has even thought that she hates me but then when it stops and things clear up she looks back and laughs at the stupidity of some of the things she thought up. so you think the best thing to do is give her space, and avoid being around her too much during this time??? and any time that i do spend with her, if she gets upset i shouldnt take offense at it? what else would i do, i mean... i love her and i wouldn't feel right if i didn't do everything i could to make things work.
jen_jen_heartbroken Posted September 17, 2005 Posted September 17, 2005 Oh boy, aren't you a sweet and understanding boyfriend! She's a lucky lady indeed. I think you're already doing all the right things. Sometimes just saying to her that you understand that she's feeling yucky,grumpy and tense -- acknowledge how she feels -- can make a world of difference. Ask her if there's anything you can do to ease her tension, such as a back rub, cooking dinner, or bringing her a supply of chocolate. If she snaps at you, calmy tell her that although you love and care for her, you don't want to be a punching-bag of sorts, and ask if she'd rather be alone. Hormones are powerful drugs. Some women experience worse psychological/physical symptoms than others. There are plenty of medications and treatments that really help ease the pain and irritability. Perhaps when aunt flow isn't visiting, and she is her normal self, it would be a good time to suggest to her that she talk to her doctor about her symptoms because you don't want hormones to come between the two of you.
Author Tygris Posted September 17, 2005 Author Posted September 17, 2005 she doesnt want to use anything except pain killers for the cramps, she wants to deal with it her self and i admire her strength. thank you for the advice, i will try to keep these things in mind and not get discouraged.
jen_jen_heartbroken Posted September 17, 2005 Posted September 17, 2005 If she's suffering from a lot of pain from cramps, there's one thing that you can suggest to her. A couple of years ago I read an article that really helped. It said that the hormone called prostaglandin is responsible for the contraction-like cramping in the uterus. Once prostaglandin is released, it is hard to stop the the cramps throughout the entire menstrual cycle. The article said that the most effective way to prevent cramping in the first place is to begin taking an anti-prostaglandin drug (Aleve is one of the best) at least 2-3 days before the period starts, and continue taking it every day until the end of the cycle. This really was the best remedy I've ever found. Less pain means less grumpyness.
933KJL Posted September 17, 2005 Posted September 17, 2005 It is best to be acting in a play on the opposit side of the country during that time of the month. Bud--it's a lose lose situation
Author Tygris Posted September 17, 2005 Author Posted September 17, 2005 hmm, so start taking the pain killers for cramps a few days in advance... how often? she cant do that right now cuz she just found out she has a small ulcer and she cant take anything except acetamenophen based pain killers but maybe when she is healed of that she could try it out, thanks.
Author Tygris Posted September 17, 2005 Author Posted September 17, 2005 It is best to be acting in a play on the opposit side of the country during that time of the month. Bud--it's a lose lose situation i really hope that isnt all that can be done.
jen_jen_heartbroken Posted September 17, 2005 Posted September 17, 2005 Well, I'm no doctor, but my understanding of acetamenophen is that it is also an anti-prostaglandin....although not as strong as some others. The main thing is to prevent the release of the prostaglandin hormones in the first place, since that is what causes the cramping. That's why it's suggested to begin taking the meds a few days prior to the actual start of the period. I have tried it with Tylenol and and Excedrin and had good results.
Author Tygris Posted September 17, 2005 Author Posted September 17, 2005 Well, I'm no doctor, but my understanding of acetamenophen is that it is also an anti-prostaglandin....although not as strong as some others. The main thing is to prevent the release of the prostaglandin hormones in the first place, since that is what causes the cramping. That's why it's suggested to begin taking the meds a few days prior to the actual start of the period. how many times a day do you take the pills when you do this???
jen_jen_heartbroken Posted September 17, 2005 Posted September 17, 2005 Just about the recommended dose, starting 3 days before and 3 days in. Tylenol = 2 pills every 6-8 hours. Aleve = 1 pill every 12 hours.
Author Tygris Posted September 18, 2005 Author Posted September 18, 2005 Just about the recommended dose, starting 3 days before and 3 days in. Tylenol = 2 pills every 6-8 hours. Aleve = 1 pill every 12 hours. i see, thanks for the advice. i hope it helps.
Outcast Posted September 18, 2005 Posted September 18, 2005 so you think the best thing to do is give her space, and avoid being around her too much during this time??? and any time that i do spend with her, if she gets upset i shouldnt take offense at it? That's exactly what you do. she doesnt want to use anything except pain killers for the cramps, she wants to deal with it her self and i admire her strength. It's not 'strength'; it's stupidity. It's like saying you'll keep walking on a broken leg. You aren't helping anything by avoiding help and you can be hurting things. Tell her to at least talk to her doctor. Most docs these days are up on the latest treatments which include things like vitamins and food supplements like soy if she refuses meds.
Author Tygris Posted September 18, 2005 Author Posted September 18, 2005 It's not 'strength'; it's stupidity. It's like saying you'll keep walking on a broken leg. You aren't helping anything by avoiding help and you can be hurting things. Tell her to at least talk to her doctor. Most docs these days are up on the latest treatments which include things like vitamins and food supplements like soy if she refuses meds. well maybe so, but she still wont go for solution like that, she refuses to throw pills at this problem she says its silly and weak. i believe her main reasoning for this though is that alot of the pills can have side-effects and she doesnt want to deal with any of that.
jen_jen_heartbroken Posted September 18, 2005 Posted September 18, 2005 It's not 'strength'; it's stupidity. It's like saying you'll keep walking on a broken leg. You aren't helping anything by avoiding help and you can be hurting things. Tell her to at least talk to her doctor. Most docs these days are up on the latest treatments which include things like vitamins and food supplements like soy if she refuses meds. Oh, no kidding! It's amazing what things like vitamins, nutrition and exercise can do to eliminate pain. Even taking omega-3 rich fish oil capsules or eating lots of salmon and fish can help with pain management --- and it makes your heart and eyes healthy and gives you gorgeous hair! Exercise is important for pain management because it releases natural endorphins that block pain.
jen_jen_heartbroken Posted September 18, 2005 Posted September 18, 2005 well maybe so, but she still wont go for solution like that, she refuses to throw pills at this problem she says its silly and weak. i believe her main reasoning for this though is that alot of the pills can have side-effects and she doesnt want to deal with any of that. You must know how silly that sounds! Ironically, if she were to "throw some pills at the problem" just a few days earlier, she would probably end up using far less pain killers than she probably already is. Also, there are a lot of natural treatments that a doctor could prescribe which will really help -- involving vitamins, heat therapy, exercise, some diet modifications, accupressure and massage, just to name a few.
Author Tygris Posted September 18, 2005 Author Posted September 18, 2005 Oh, no kidding! It's amazing what things like vitamins, nutrition and exercise can do to eliminate pain. Even taking omega-3 rich fish oil capsules or eating lots of salmon and fish can help with pain management --- and it makes your heart and eyes healthy and gives you gorgeous hair! Exercise is important for pain management because it releases natural endorphins that block pain. okay so vitamins... not sure if she would be okay with that, but i will ask. exercise is good all around anyway so, yeah. thanks.
Outcast Posted September 18, 2005 Posted September 18, 2005 Is it 'silly and weak' for a diabetic to take insulin? Anyway, if you read what I wrote, I said that dietary supplements like soy and other non-med interventions are available that her doc can tell her about.
Author Tygris Posted September 18, 2005 Author Posted September 18, 2005 You must know how silly that sounds! Ironically, if she were to "throw some pills at the problem" just a few days earlier, she would probably end up using far less pain killers than she probably already is. Also, there are a lot of natural treatments that a doctor could prescribe which will really help -- involving vitamins, heat therapy, exercise, some diet modifications, accupressure and massage, just to name a few. well, when she says "pills" i think she means prescribed medications, i dont think she has a problem with taking over the counter stuff. as for the things like diet, she eats pretty healthy, she maintains a healthy weight and her only real problem is that she likes sugar and sweet things, but that is a problem all of its own and something i will address at a later date. as for the other treatments... well, money is an issue so anything that is too expensive is just simply not an option. vitamins do sound like a good thing though, and i will ask her about it. thanks
jen_jen_heartbroken Posted September 18, 2005 Posted September 18, 2005 okay so vitamins... not sure if she would be okay with that, but i will ask. exercise is good all around anyway so, yeah. thanks. Well, vitamins are part of healthy diet, and just as powerful as any man-made drug. A lot of foods contain vitamins that have anti-inflammatory properties. Even chocolate is one of them, and it helps the body release seratonin, which makes you feel good too. Things rich in folic acid, omega-3 fatty acids are great for pain management.
Author Tygris Posted September 18, 2005 Author Posted September 18, 2005 Is it 'silly and weak' for a diabetic to take insulin? Anyway, if you read what I wrote, I said that dietary supplements like soy and other non-med interventions are available that her doc can tell her about. the diabetic analogy doesnt work in this case, the situations are far too different. i am aware that you wrote other things, but i just didn't feel like taking the time to exclude them from the quote and i did take note of the soy thing... though i am not sure if she would like eating too many soy products... i know she likes tofu though.
Author Tygris Posted September 18, 2005 Author Posted September 18, 2005 Well, vitamins are part of healthy diet, and just as powerful as any man-made drug. A lot of foods contain vitamins that have anti-inflammatory properties. Even chocolate is one of them, and it helps the body release seratonin, which makes you feel good too. Things rich in folic acid, omega-3 fatty acids are great for pain management. hmm, i will have to research which foods are high in such things and see what i can do in the diet area. thanks
jen_jen_heartbroken Posted September 18, 2005 Posted September 18, 2005 Many multi-vitamins now contain soy-complex. GNC has a good woman's multi-vitamin.
Author Tygris Posted September 18, 2005 Author Posted September 18, 2005 Many multi-vitamins now contain soy-complex. GNC has a good woman's multi-vitamin. i see, i will have to look into that if she is okay with the whole vitamin thing.
Recommended Posts