Duchess2441 Posted January 31, 2019 Posted January 31, 2019 (First post so I am not sure where this goes) So basically the person that I have a thing with (we'll call them E) had a thing with someone else (B) prior to me and her starting. Both me and E do not want to proceed to a relationship and would rather just stay as friends with benefits but she is also trying to juggle between myself and B. I am honestly not too sure where to go with this since I have a gut feeling telling me that I should drop the thing I have considering that if we were to become something more intimate then problems could arise. She has told me that the only reason she cannot move to something more intimate is because she's not in the right state of mind and has a fear of commitment. She also fears that if anything were to happen between myself and her it may cause our 4 year long friendship to end. I do not know how she feels about B but I will end up asking at some point. How should I proceed with this? Any advice would be appreciated.
d0nnivain Posted January 31, 2019 Posted January 31, 2019 Enjoy the benefits while E is giving them to you & be gracious when she eventually walks away. 1
ShadeOfGreen Posted January 31, 2019 Posted January 31, 2019 It is amazing how a confused person suddenly becomes amazingly confident when they meet someone they truly desire. I never liked the cherry picking in these types of situations. I interpret as a way of saying, "I really like you for these certain things, so I'm going to keep you as a kind of placeholder until I find the real deal. Is that OK? I don't want anybody to get hurt." The reality is that people get hurt or at least disappointed when the final transition to the other person happens. Friendships are never the same afterwards. I'd tell her I just want to be friends. The fact that someone else is confused doesn't change the fact that I know what I'm worth. Choose to spend your resources on someone who appreciates you more than a menu choice. 2
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