Super89Rex Posted September 17, 2005 Posted September 17, 2005 Here is my complete story: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t70325/ I am feeling really down today. The re-occuring dreams I keep having of my EX-GF have been haunting me almost nightly. I wish I could just make them go away, they almost give me a false hope of reality. It has been almost 2 weeks since I have last seen my EX and talked about anything. Everyday I can feel a little bit better, but not much. The thought that she single handedly replaced me with someone else tears me up inside. I've been trying my best to cope with things; including working out regularly, hanging out with friends, trying to meet some new people; but I still find myself thinking about her all the time. I mean we went out for over 2 years and have known eachother for almost 3 years; I don't understand how she could so easilly throw me out like yesterdays trash for this new jerk. She said she wanted me in her life, and wanted me to be there for her as her "best friend" but I couldnt see it happening, so I told her we should go our seperate ways; and that if she ever has a change of heart in the future to give me a call, then we could talk. I immediately initiated N.C with her. This is absolute torture; I don't know whats going on in my head anymore, I still love her so much; and she is with someone else (the guy she cheated on me with). I dont understand what this guy could give her that I can't, I know her better than him, I know her needs more than him and I think I am that much more suited to give her what she needs; but even still, she threw our relationship out the window. And why to the last minute she wouldnt admit it? She continued to lie to me saying they were just friends, etc. In my most hopeless times with her nearing the end, she woudl tell me this doesn't mean it's forever and she doesn't know if she would regret it in 6 months or not. What the heck does that mean? I dont even know if she thinks about me anymore, after 2 years I don't even think she would care if my carcass was spread over the interstate and knowin g how much she "doesn't" care about me anymore hurts to no end. Can some people give me some advice on how to cope or deal with this? Is it even possible to win her back? Do I really want to? Why do I miss her and love her so much still? Advice please.. Thanks so much LS
DesertDweller Posted September 18, 2005 Posted September 18, 2005 Why did your girlfriend leave you for someone else? You were right not to hang out and be her friend. Hang in there. It probably won't work out with the jerk.
johan Posted September 18, 2005 Posted September 18, 2005 If you are taking it this hard, then I always figure you're blaming yourself for it. It's hard to move on when you are convinced if you had been better in some way then she wouldn't have done what she did. First of all, you might feel like fixing yourself would change her mind. Second of all, it kills your confidence when it comes to meeting someone new. It keeps you looking back and dwelling on the past, instead of looking toward a better future. When you can accept yourself for who you are, then you can more easily accept that it's not your problem that she decided not to be with you. Of course you might still miss her and wish things would have worked out differently. But you can be more objective about the past and more excited about the future, knowing someone else will also accept you and love you and never betray you like she did. That's one of the most important parts of moving on for me.
Winger Posted September 18, 2005 Posted September 18, 2005 Hey man, This girl is either too immature or simply an inconsiderate person - or both. I know how you feel right now. You wake up every morning with the same thoughts, such as, what happened, how can she do this etc. However, you need to be strong and look in the mirror and tell yourself that it's going to get better. Think of it like this - if this girl cheated on you and you were willing to take her back, she'll abuse your forgiving nature. I'm very skeptical of relationships working out after someone has cheated. Plus, this two years was not a total waste...you learned a lot and will be able to apply that to your next relationship. This breakup might be the defining moment that puts you on track to meeting an amazing person...you'll love her in ways that you've never loved before. That girl is out there for you - you just have to keep on doing what you're doing. Cut her out of your life and use whatever resources you can to ease the pain - such as this message board. And think about this - someday you'll be able to look back on this girl and you will most likely laugh and chalk it up to being young. You might not hate her, but you'll definitely chuckle at the whole situation when you're arm in arm with a new girl. Also, don't forget that you still have your job and a good head on your shoulders. What comes around goes around, and if she's willing to end a good relationship for a douche bag...she'll get hers. Try to be sympathetic towards her if you ever see her begging for change on the street with her idiot boyfriend...that's where she's heading. You'll be able to condescend her in the future and it'll be fun. You're better than her. Take it easy bro.
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