d0nnivain Posted February 1, 2019 Posted February 1, 2019 Retirement & retirement planning look different for everybody. You have ambitious goals -- retiring at 55 -- & you are willing to work these other businesses to achieve those goals. He is not. You can't really force him. If he has a job & is doing something to save for retirement, dial it back. But do sit down with him & have a frank financial discussion. Have the paperwork, have the plans / projections. Ask him where he fits in & what his goals are. Work with him to find some way he is willing to contribute. Maybe he'd be willing to live on 1/2 his present salary & sock the rest away or maybe he can find more ways to trim your present budget to add more savings. Just because he doesn't contribute the exact same way you do -- by working extra businesses -- doesn't mean it's time to divorce. 1
LuckyM Posted February 2, 2019 Posted February 2, 2019 Many married men are not interested in finances or money matters. My father never was, at all. So you will need to accept that. Maybe you will impress him with all the money you raise and your investing. How old is he? After a certain age, men should find better things to occupy their time than the thrills of video games. It sounds juvenile but that's just my 2 cents. People might tell you--to each his own pastime. I wouldn't like it.
grays Posted February 2, 2019 Posted February 2, 2019 What I'm hearing is your husband lives life while you're planning to live life. Life is short, 55 is no guarantee. Agree! My ex and I spent all of our 20s and 30s working our butts off so we could could have a comfortable future. Future is here and now I’m a very happy but penniless Uber driver with a fancy law degree and an impressive resume. I couldn’t care less about my achievements or the money, but I wish I could have my 20s and 30s back or at least have enjoyed them. I think your goals are fine and I can see how it’s frustrating to be with a guy who isn’t committed to the same goals. But you seem to have no respect for him and no understanding of his choices. 1
alphamale Posted February 2, 2019 Posted February 2, 2019 How old is he? After a certain age, men should find better things to occupy their time than the thrills of video games. It sounds juvenile but that's just my 2 cents. People might tell you--to each his own pastime. I wouldn't like it. I agree with you but have you seen some of the video games today? they are incredible
Els Posted February 3, 2019 Posted February 3, 2019 IMO it's completely normal to want to decompress in your time off when you have a good full-time job. Spending off-work hours reading about work is a terrible idea in my book. It's not just about ambition vs non-ambition either, but about wanting a balance. H and I have good careers and a decent nest egg saved up - I personally think that if we spent our leisure time working, it would actually be detrimental to our careers because we'd perform poorly at work due to not having any time to recharge. Not to mention it'd kill our relationship, sex life, mental health, etc. We don't want to retire at 55 though, since we love our jobs - 65 works just fine, thanks. That being said, is your husband actually spending any of his time off work with YOU? IMO that's a much bigger issue than not wanting to work more outside work.
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