H wanted me to go w/ him 2 "see" the exOW...WTH?

September 17, 2005

H's hometown's HS football team was playing against a team near were we live. The exOW lives in H's hometown and her son plays football. H wanted me to go w/ him to watch the game. I told him I really wasn't up to go b/c I had a long day at work and was exhausted. He told me that if I didn't go he may run into the exOW and she would come over to talk to him. So, I go w/ him and we didn't even go to the game. We drove through the parking lot but there was no room to park. We were both looking to see if her car was there. I could careless to see her again, in fact, I don't want to ever see her again. We ended up leaving w/o even going to the game.

I asked him why he wanted to see the exOW. I told him that I would never go looking for my first love (who contacted me a few years ago and wanted to "get together" but told him no, b/c we were both M) but he seems to want to see this exOW. He told me he was curious what she looked like after all this time (he started putting her down at this point).

I don't see him going back to her, or her trying to go back to him. She got him fired from a job he loved and he has said he has "hated" her since. When he broke up w/ the exOW he never said anything really bad about her, but as soon as she got him fired the names started flying, he wanted to get back at her, and said some pretty bad things about her. I doubt she gives a f#ck about him anymore anyway.

Just makes me wonder why he wanted to go over there to see her. He said he didn't want to talk to her, he was curious about what she looks like now since her BF of 2 years dumped her "psycho a$$." She tried killing herself when her H (b4 they were M) was seeing another woman.

He wants her to be unhappy b/c he is unhappy w/ his job. He had a great paying job that he loved but she got him fired from it. Honestly, I was glad she got him fired b/c they were no longer working 2gether but H is depressed b/c he lost that job b/c of their A.

September 17, 2005

Perhaps he wanted to see her fall from grace for himself, to shatter any lingering idealized thoughts he was having? It could well be that he wanted to take satisfaction in her suffering and see it with his own eyes. Perhaps if he had seen her, he would have taken a mean dig at her? Its hard to tell. Its for the best you two didn't see her, that's for sure.

September 18, 2005

Perhaps he wanted to see her fall from grace for himself, to shatter any lingering idealized thoughts he was having? It could well be that he wanted to take satisfaction in her suffering and see it with his own eyes. Perhaps if he had seen her, he would have taken a mean dig at her? Its hard to tell. Its for the best you two didn't see her, that's for sure.

Thanks LB, I appreciate your reply. I think the reason why he felt he wanted to see her was for the reasons you stated. From what he told me he hopes her life is miserable, and that she isn't happy. Well, if he didn't put his d!ck where it didn't belong she wouldn't of gotten him fired and he would still have his job and be happy w/ it. Both of them should of been fired.

H is feeling like he really screwed up his life for his share in the and he is hoping the exOW isn't happy.

I asked him what he would of thought if we did see her and she looked really good, was laughing, and happy. He told me he would wonder why he got the short end of the stick. I asked him what he meant by that and he said that life hasn't been going very well for him (job wise and financially) and we are both hit a low in our life. He doesn't want the exOW to have came out of the A smelling like roses.

I am sure she is probably happy. She has NP jumping to one man to the next when she is tired of them, or they are tired of her. She was M to her exH for 8 months b4 she filed a D from him (she filed for a D a week after my H did) and then jumped into a relationship immediately w/ my H. When my H broke it off w/ her, she jumped right into another relationship w/ another man she worked w/ less than a week later. I don't know what happened w/ her and this guy she dated after H broke it off w/ her. They dated for 2 years when he broke it off w/ her. I am sure she got right back on the dating scene right away.

September 19, 2005

I think it's funny how often their OWs are such trampy losers. My H's exOW is a psychologist's dream come true as he could make a ton of money trying to figure her out. She's one of those blathering left over hippie tree hugger types.

I was driving and saw her walking around on the street a few weeks ago. She was wearing funky white tights like Victorian women wear with funky brown flat shoes. She had this vacant expression on her face like a deer in headlights. I swear she is such a freak.

I wonder what my H ever saw in her. You would think that if he was going to risk all our years of marriage, he could have at least picked someone with a good body and some kind of sense.

September 20, 2005

I think it's funny how often their OWs are such trampy losers. My H's exOW is a psychologist's dream come true as he could make a ton of money trying to figure her out. She's one of those blathering left over hippie tree hugger types.

I was driving and saw her walking around on the street a few weeks ago. She was wearing funky white tights like Victorian women wear with funky brown flat shoes. She had this vacant expression on her face like a deer in headlights. I swear she is such a freak.

I wonder what my H ever saw in her. You would think that if he was going to risk all our years of marriage, he could have at least picked someone with a good body and some kind of sense.

passing by, I can't say that all OW's are trampy whores, but from what you have posted, and from I know of H's exOW these two are trampy sluts (whores charge, lol).

I thought the samething about why my H had an A w/ the exOW. I didn't know what he seen in her. There were several ppl who told me they didn't know what he seen in her. One woman told my best friend that worked w/ H and the exOW that I was so pretty, WTH was he thinking screwing around w/ this OW. It just prooves that the OW doesn't have to be as attractive as the W, it's what she has inside that they find attractive. The exOW wasn't ugly. I was so angry that H was having an A w/ her and I asked him how he could have an A w/ someone so ugly. He told me that she wasn't ugly, but he admitted I am more attractive than she is. I guess it wasn't that I thought she was ugly, she just didn't look like she took care of herself. Her hair was short, permed, and frizzy and she dressed way outdated. She wasn't feminine at all.

I forgive the exOW for her part in the A but I still do not like her. She persued him for 3 years and when we were having M problems I asked her to leave him alone until the D was final. I don't blame her for being attracted to my H. He is good looking, and has a great sense of humor. I found him attractive when I first seen him and I was bound and determined to go out w/ him, just like she did. However, if he was M when I met him I would of never persued him like she did.

I am sure the exOW is happy. She has great kids, and she is probably having fun dating again. Yes, at one point I was hoping I would see the her go through the pain that her and my H put me through during their A but I never did. I am sure she was probably hurt when her BF of 2 years broke it off w/ her, but I am sure she went right back to dating again just like she did when H broke it off w/ her.

September 20, 2005

I think it's funny how often their OWs are such trampy losers. My H's exOW is a psychologist's dream come true as he could make a ton of money trying to figure her out. She's one of those blathering left over hippie tree hugger types.

Maybe married men prey on vulnerable women when they decide they want to have an affair

September 20, 2005

Maybe married men prey on vulnerable women when they decide they want to have an affair

Could be newbby, but that isn't true in my H and the exOW's case. The exOW was the one that persued my H, for 3 years.

September 21, 2005

Hey "Mopar" !

Haven't been online for a while missed ya!

My H loves hearing "down on her luck" stories about his ex-OW. He brought home another one just the other day! He works with a guy who was "good friends" with his ex-OW after my H dumped her, btw.

He said that he heard the ex-OW was put in jail with her ex H who she's living with now. Some kind of domestic disturbance.

Now that's funny, but ya know, when I hear things like that, it does make me angry at what an idiot my H was for picking a skank like that.

I could never think about just looking over someone completely for a "piece".

What I mean is, I have 4 kids to raise and if I was divorced/widowed, I wouldn't just pick any guy, just for a hump. It isn't worth that that I'd bring someone to my house that could be a risk to my kids.

I guess dum-a** cheating spouses who DO want a quick easy piece don't "screen" potential lovers, huh?

Shellystryin'

September 21, 2005

My H works in the same town that his ex-ow lives in. He could run into her anytime.

MoparFan, your H may have wanted to "see" the ex-ow just to reaffirm himself on the good choice he made returning to you.

Ugly is ugly. More than likely, the ex-ow isn't any better looking. From what I've read of your past posts on that woman, her lifestyle takes a toll on her physically and mentally. Someone like that should be pitied because they are so pathetic. {I know, it's hard to have pity for someone who almost destroyed your very being}

I heard my H's ex-ow got put in jail a while back for domestic disturbances.

Is that a reaffirming of a good choice or what?

I just feel for the ex-ow's poor children (she has 2 pre-teen boys).

September 22, 2005

My H works in the same town that his ex-ow lives in. He could run into her anytime.
MoparFan, your H may have wanted to "see" the ex-ow just to reaffirm himself on the good choice he made returning to you.

Ugly is ugly. More than likely, the ex-ow isn't any better looking. From what I've read of your past posts on that woman, her lifestyle takes a toll on her physically and mentally. Someone like that should be pitied because they are so pathetic. {I know, it's hard to have pity for someone who almost destroyed your very being}

I heard my H's ex-ow got put in jail a while back for domestic disturbances.

Is that a reaffirming of a good choice or what?

I just feel for the ex-ow's poor children (she has 2 pre-teen boys).

Thanks SR, by the way, I like your avatar. Reminds me of when I owned a horse and would ride her through our woods that looked similiar to your avatar.

Yea, I do find it hard to feel badly for her b/c of what she and my H put me through but at least my H apologized and tried his hardest to make it up to me. When I talked to the exOW for the last time she never once said she was sorry for what she put me through. Just prooves she didn't give a s*** about how it hurt me. And if she did not to know how much pain she put me through then she has no heart.

September 22, 2005

I know the feeling, MC.

I've really missed emailing you, btw. How have you been?

This is Shelly. Remember me or would you rather forget...lol:bunny:

September 23, 2005

I know the feeling, MC.

I've really missed emailing you, btw. How have you been?
This is Shelly. Remember me or would you rather forget...lol:bunny:

OMGOSH!!! SHELLY! I have been trying to email you but it keeps coming back! Where did you go? EMAIL me woman, lol. I can't believe you figured out who I was since I changed my screen name, lol. My email is still the same so email me, k? I miss our chats. Email me and so we can catch up.

September 23, 2005

OMGOSH!!! SHELLY! I have been trying to email you but it keeps coming back! Where did you go? EMAIL me woman, lol. I can't believe you figured out who I was since I changed my screen name, lol. My email is still the same so email me, k? I miss our chats. Email me and so we can catch up.

I just got my internet back a few days ago. I emailed you. Did you not get it?

Our service here at the new house was crappy due to working on the phone lines up the road where a new road is being put in. We just let the service drop till the other day.

I've really missed you, GF!

I thought about going to the local library and getting online and trying to find your regular mailing address and writing you "old fashioned style" but I didn't want you to think I was a wierdo stalker hunting up stuff on the internet about you.

I email you again at your addy online. ok?

September 23, 2005

Honestly, I was glad she got him fired b/c they were no longer working 2gether.

Hahah! You are cute!

I think he wanted her to see you two together and rub it in her nose. If he wanted to see her, he would have gone alone there. His potential message was probably "You took my job away from me, but you can't take my precious wife." Also I think he was afraid that she would see him all by himself there and think to herself how alone he is. He didn't want to give her that pleasure.

September 23, 2005

Hahah! You are cute!

I think he wanted her to see you two together and rub it in her nose. If he wanted to see her, he would have gone alone there. His potential message was probably "You took my job away from me, but you can't take my precious wife." Also I think he was afraid that she would see him all by himself there and think to herself how alone he is. He didn't want to give her that pleasure.

This could very well be the case, MC.

If a man can feel like that and want to show you off, that says something.

Now that I think of it, I remember my H telling me when his A was going on, his OW was showing pictures of her 2 kids to him and he said he took out his billfold with our kids' pics to show her and of course he had pics of me in there and she saw them but said nothing about me, of course.

My H said he thought at the time he was proud (of my radiant beauty?) {LOL} at her seeing my photos. Men are such oddities!

So, your H probably did want to "show you off".

September 23, 2005

Thanks SR and RP. I guess he could of went alone to go see if she was miserable but he practically begged me to go w/ him. I don't know if he wanted to "show me off" b/c I have gained some weight over the last two years so she is thinner than I am, however, I can loose weight and look hot again, lol.

Yea, she took his job away from him but he didn't take him away from me. Yes, she succeeded the first time w/ her manilpulated little ways to get him but in the end he came back to me.

September 23, 2005

I just got my internet back a few days ago. I emailed you. Did you not get it?
Our service here at the new house was crappy due to working on the phone lines up the road where a new road is being put in. We just let the service drop till the other day.
I've really missed you, GF!

I thought about going to the local library and getting online and trying to find your regular mailing address and writing you "old fashioned style" but I didn't want you to think I was a wierdo stalker hunting up stuff on the internet about you.

I email you again at your addy online. ok?

I haven't gotten it yet as I haven't been on my computer much so I have been using H's. I will check it 2nite and email ya back, k? So nice to "see" you back here replying to my threads. Sorry though things are still not where you need them w/ your H and the trust issues. I hate feeling like this. I never got jealous of H talking w/ OW until the stupid A.

LMBO at the stalker comment. I wouldn't of thought that, I would of thought "Whoohooo! I heard from Shell!!!" I was wondering where ya went. I even told H I was bummed that you disappeared and I missed chatting w/ ya.

September 24, 2005

I don't know if he wanted to "show me off" b/c I have gained some weight over the last two years so she is thinner than I am,

I think your H has probably realized "thinner" isn't always better. Besides it's just pure coincidence she's thinner than you. Most men don't look for that, especially if "it" is being thrown at them by the OW.

September 25, 2005

I think your H has probably realized "thinner" isn't always better. Besides it's just pure coincidence she's thinner than you. Most men don't look for that, especially if "it" is being thrown at them by the OW.

Hey S! Sorry I haven't emailed ya back, I haven't been on my computer to read it b/c it's been running like crap lately. H's computer doesn't have as many problems and is faster. I promise I will get on it soon. Tomorrow I will be gone most of the day for B's football game so I will try my best to get on when we get home.

I can't help to think that H was attracted to her not only b/c of the way she paid attention to him, but b/c she was thinner, but maybe not. I don't think H would come out and admit part of him was attracted to her b/c she was thinner.

September 25, 2005

I can't help to think that H was attracted to her not only b/c of the way she paid attention to him, but b/c she was thinner, but maybe not. I don't think H would come out and admit part of him was attracted to her b/c she was thinner.

Well, I would much rather have a big belly than a big p****{{{BEEP}}} !!!!!!

Some dry humor there, J ! lol

September 25, 2005

Well, I would much rather have a big belly than a big p****{{{BEEP}}} !!!!!!
Some dry humor there, J ! lol

I forgot to add before I hit the send button,

You can always go on a diet to get rid of the belly, whatcha gonna do about the other???

Alrighty then...

September 25, 2005

Well, I would much rather have a big belly than a big p****{{{BEEP}}} !!!!!!
Some dry humor there, J ! lol

Omgosh, lmbo! True S.

September 26, 2005

Don't get obsessed with your weight vs. hers please! Just lose weight so that you can feel good about yourself. It really contributes to self-confidence. I feel so good when I am thin and so ugly when I gain 10-15 lbs.

He wanted to show off as in go there as a couple, not all by himself and look lonely and miserable.

So a questions for you, MC: have you forgiven your husband?

When did the affair happen? I also didn't understand whether the affair became physical before or after you split.

September 26, 2005

Don't get obsessed with your weight vs. hers please! Just lose weight so that you can feel good about yourself.

If a person is unhealthily over weight, then they do need to try and lose some lbs., but if you are wanting to lose weight to try and be thinner than the exOW then you will feel worse if you lose some then gain it all back.

You have to feel good about yourself on the inside first then work on your outside appearance. Kind of like the ground up philosophy.

I kind of take the approach with weight loss like a pastor would give you advice about your soul.

Work on your inside and your outside will follow.

The photo of you and your H you sent me a while back was a good one, even if it might have been taken months or a yr or more ago. You have a beautiful bone structure, J., and a mighty-purty smile, like we say over here! lol

September 26, 2005

You have to feel good about yourself on the inside first then work on your outside appearance.
Work on your inside and your outside will follow.

Hmmm.. this is very interesting. You got me thinking...

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H wanted me to go w/ him 2 "see" the exOW...WTH?

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