matty145 Posted January 29, 2019 Share Posted January 29, 2019 Looking for advice for dating after college. Kinda freaked out over the idea of having to live in the real world and not being able to go to the bar with my buddies and meet girls that way. Seems like it will be almost impossible to meet girls in the real world especially if you live alone and travel for work a lot. Can you still go to the bar and meet girls that way? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted January 29, 2019 Share Posted January 29, 2019 It's called on line dating............. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
LonelyITGuy Posted January 29, 2019 Share Posted January 29, 2019 Seriously? Online dating. Adult ed classes. Work. The gym. Exploring hobbies. The older you get, the less you're going to want to meet women at the bar, dude. Link to post Share on other sites
clia Posted January 29, 2019 Share Posted January 29, 2019 Can you still go to the bar and meet girls that way? Yes, you can do this at any age. Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted January 29, 2019 Share Posted January 29, 2019 Of course you can still do that. You may find yourself doing with new friends, but you can still have fun, even out of college believe it or not! I didn't meet my exH until after college. We met at a wedding we were both in. My sister met her husband in high school, but they didn't date until they were both graduated from college.....reconnected at a random party. You never know where life will lead you and where love will find you. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted January 29, 2019 Share Posted January 29, 2019 If you are going to go at it at a bar, go with a mixed group and don't be afraid to ask a lady to dance....dancing will get you laid. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted January 29, 2019 Share Posted January 29, 2019 Having a job & living in the real world opens a host of opportunities, in part because you now have money. Yes you can still go to bars. You do however need to change your mindset that the only place to meet people involves liquor. You can meet people in your apartment building. Who is doing their laundry when you are? Same at the local laundry mat. You can join meet-up groups that do things that interest you. You can meet people in the gym or at Church. You can meet people in your building, not necessarily your company but other offices or nearby offices. Who is around when you get your coffee or have lunch? You can meet people at industry events. Go to conventions or trade shows. Go to chamber of commerce meetings & continuing education events. Volunteer doing something you care about, feed animals, raise money to fight disease, support the arts. Get involved in a political campaign. Join your alumni association & go to their events. Do some sort of vacation share house -- either summer at the beach or winter skiing. The world is your oyster. Act like it. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Lotsgoingon Posted January 29, 2019 Share Posted January 29, 2019 OMG, you think there aren't any people your age in the workplace. Tons of opportunity to date ... and join a fun hobby ... volleyball, baseball, whatever ... tons of social opportunity. In some ways, better than college because a lot of people really emerged after college. They gain confidence. Find good people at work to hang with ... they have a network ... of people outside the workplace ... you can date at work (though others hesitate on this--I've been a places where lots of people date without problems) ... and the friends at work will have other friends ... Join a gym ... lots of available young people in gyms ... but find a hobby: dance, sports ... lot of young people ... employed young people, open young people. Oh my God, my 20s were so much more fun for dating than my college years. Not even close! Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted January 29, 2019 Share Posted January 29, 2019 ... Can you still go to the bar and meet girls that way? Yes... I've been doing it for over 25 years. Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted January 29, 2019 Share Posted January 29, 2019 ... And don't be afraid to ask a lady to dance....dancing will get you laid. 100% true!! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Interstellar Posted January 29, 2019 Share Posted January 29, 2019 In high school, dancing was my surefire way to meet women. I love to dance and still do. Try learning swing dancing, salsa, etc.. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
LonelyITGuy Posted January 29, 2019 Share Posted January 29, 2019 100% true!! This is good to know (for future reference). Link to post Share on other sites
Simple Logic Posted January 30, 2019 Share Posted January 30, 2019 You do realize their are women who also travel and frequent the Hotel bar? Link to post Share on other sites
mortensorchid Posted January 30, 2019 Share Posted January 30, 2019 Life is hard after your "childhood" comes to an end. Get involved with your community in some way, join a gym, OLD, research. Whatever you do, two things: 1) Coworkers are not friends - DO NOT socialize / befriend a coworker, have friends platonic or otherwise outside of the workplace. 2) Keep it to yourself - Don't share much about yourself with others you work with other than basic information. Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted January 30, 2019 Share Posted January 30, 2019 Whatever you do, two things: 1) Coworkers are not friends - DO NOT socialize / befriend a coworker, have friends platonic or otherwise outside of the workplace. 2) Keep it to yourself - Don't share much about yourself with others you work with other than basic information. Re-read this... 100% Agree. If you take nothing else from this forum, heed this advice. Also if a co-worker asks for your help moving, say NO!! Do not assist them with anything outside of work either, home repair, car repair, etc. It will only come back to bite you in the butt. At work, talk only about work-related duties, when 5:00 comes, leave. Do not go to "Happy Hour" or anything else with your co-workers. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted January 30, 2019 Share Posted January 30, 2019 I disagree with the advice to be completely closed off from co-workers. If the WHOLE office is routinely going out, attend. You must show your face occasionally to be viewed as part of the team. Have a soft drink if you like & be the 1st to leave but go. Also be prepared to selectively share with others in the office. They absolutely do not need your life story but it's fine to chime in about your favorite Super Bowl Commercial or the fact that you prefer Pespi to Coke or vice versa. You need to be human not hidden behind a wall of ice & completely stand-offish. That said, there are lines that should not be crossed. Don't date co-workers. Don't spill your guts. You should be warm but mysterious. Unfortunately, matty145 based on your inability to not gush all over that girl from your original thread I fear you will be bad at maintaining boundaries with co-workers. Link to post Share on other sites
Lotsgoingon Posted January 30, 2019 Share Posted January 30, 2019 So interesting the different perspectives on coworkers. I've had mostly jobs where coworkers became super close friends ... I've been in the wedding of at least two coworkers. At another coworker's wedding, I walked her from her dressing room to the start of her walk down the aisle to meet her groom. I recently had surgery and several of the closest people who checked on me were coworkers. And yes, a number of these are women coworkers. My mentor at work, now retired, is like a close aunt to me ... and yes, she asks me about my dating life and gives encouragement and tips and she LOOKS for women I can date. But I respect that others haven't had the experience I've had at workplaces. I've been lucky to work at places that attracted really good people--often better than the companies deserved! Link to post Share on other sites
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