Girl says she is "100% straight" but like to play with girls for fun?

[depcharger]

Recently started dating a girl. While getting to know her...

 

She said she is 100% straight, but she said she lost her virginity in a 3sum with a couple ( bf and his gf)

 

says she is completely straight but would play with girls for fun?

 

I've met other girls like this too, girls who admitted to "playing" with girls

( 3rd base) but swear it was a one time thing and that they are single

 

then there are all the girls who at parties or on social media kiss each other on the lips

 

and constantly call each other hot, make sexual comments on Social media to each other which if a guy does it is called creepy

 

so is she bi or not?

 

I just prefer honesty, her actions are contrary to her words

[PegNosePete]

It really doesn't matter. If someone is in an exclusive relationship with you, then they should not act inappropriately with anyone of either gender.

 

If she is exclusively dating you then it doesn't really matter whether she dated men or women before you. She can do as she pleases when she's single, but she is dating you exclusively now, so she should not be "playing" or kissing or making sexual comments to anyone else, male or female.

 

If she is telling you that she is going to carry on doing all these things even when you're exclusively dating, then probably best to bail now.

[basil67]

I agree that it doesn't matter how she labels herself. Her actions - not her description - is what matters here. How do you feel about it?

[Andy_K]

It's not that black and white.

 

Suppose sexuality is a spectrum with liking guys one end, and liking girls the other. A 'true' bisexual being dead in the middle. Guys are generally very polar with that they like, they tend to either be attracted to each gender or not, which puts the vast majority of them at either end of the scale, and those who like both right in the middle. As such the majority can't see any other viewpoint and fail to understand that it's not the same for many girls. Girls tend to be wired differently. They can be found on any part of the spectrum. It is not at all uncommon to find one who is primarily attracted to men, and would only consider relationships/dating with men, but still finds women attractive enough to make out with, or perhaps go a bit further under the right circumstances.

 

If she's closer to straight than bi, which is typically the case, she's going to identify as straight because anything else will subject her to extremely judgemental treatment from anyone who doesn't really understand how it works.

[d0nnivain]

She considers herself straight but you have a vocabulary issue. She defines "fun" "straight" and "100%" differently then most people.

[ShadeOfGreen]

It really doesn't matter. If someone is in an exclusive relationship with you, then they should not act inappropriately with anyone of either gender.

 

If she is exclusively dating you then it doesn't really matter whether she dated men or women before you. She can do as she pleases when she's single, but she is dating you exclusively now, so she should not be "playing" or kissing or making sexual comments to anyone else, male or female.

 

If she is telling you that she is going to carry on doing all these things even when you're exclusively dating, then probably best to bail now.

 

Exactly this. It doesn't matter her orientation. It only matters you both agree upon relationship boundaries, and live to them. Are you OK with her playing with others while you are in a relationship with her? If no, then tell her that.

 

Like a previous poster said, she's on a spectrum. She at least likes to play with the same gender, so she's not "100%" straight.

[Heidi_Alot]

i just broke up with my girlfriend because she is married and it seems like she's cheating on him when she's kissing me etc. even though he's a guy