just someone Posted September 17, 2005 Posted September 17, 2005 Hello I am new to this site and from what I can see it is very informative and a great place, I’m glad I found it, but anyway on to my problem. Sorry about the length of this. Ok here goes, I am 20 and Summer is 21, she will be 22 in November. Well me and her started off by talking on Yahoo, she lives about 300 miles away, about 4 hours, and it started off as just talking a little bit and we have only known each other for about 2 months. At the time she had a boyfriend but he ended up sleeping with another girl and really hurt Summer, so now she is single. It is kind of amazing how we met though; she never goes into chat rooms and I was about to give up on them to but just by chance or luck or something more we met somehow. Out of all the chat rooms and all the people in them we are the ones that started talking. As we talked we just kept talking for longer and longer until were talking for about 5-6 hours on yahoo then I went on vacation and since we could not talk on Yahoo we talked on the phone; doing that we were able to grow much closer. We have grown so close and are still doing so, on average we talk 5-6 hours a day every single day. Here is the thing I have never felt this way before about a girl and she feels the same cause she is always saying how much I mean to her and I know she means it. Well I have gotten to know here so well and she has been hurt so many times and after her dad passed away a few years back she has had boyfriends that have treated her like crap and because of that it is just so hard for her to get close to someone. We have gotten so close so fast it would literally make your head spin. We talk about anything and everything; nothing is uncomfortable to talk about. I know things about her that no one else does and vice versa for her. Just the other day I met this girl at my college and we started talking and from that I realized that what me and Summer has is just so special and I cannot feel this way about any other girl. I told her that I had met this girl and she stated crying so hard, I even cried (I never cry). After that I then truly realized that I love her and I want to be with her. I started to feel this agonizing pain in my chest because I thought I was going to lose her; I still feel it this morning. I just can not hurt her and will not do that to her. On the other hand I feel like the only way our relationship can grow closer is to see each other and she agrees. I can really see spending the rest of my life with her and I am not scared to say it either. I know I'm young but I think that I have found that special someone that I am supposed to be with. I want to say that I love her, but that is just something that I think needs to be said face to face with each other and not on the phone. However I feel like I need to say it. I have hinted at it and I think she knows but I am not sure because she hasn’t had anyone that has truly loved her. This is just eating me up inside and I don’t know what to do. Please help me, any advice at all I would greatly appreciate. Thank you for your time to sit and read this long long problem.
TnT Posted September 18, 2005 Posted September 18, 2005 This sounds like how me and my man met. I think when u have a connection with someone like u and summer have, u cant let it go. I think u should meet up with her and c how things go. Where is the harm. If things dont go well, then im sure the 2 of u will be friends, if it does go well, even better, start a relationship and do the LDR thing like all the rest of us... only till the day when u can be together. Good luck!
Author just someone Posted September 21, 2005 Author Posted September 21, 2005 Well I told her how I felt about her Monday night and she almost started crying, also she feels the same way about me. I was so relieved to tell her to; it just lifted an enormous weight off of my shoulders. When I told her, I was so nervous and when I said that I had fallen in love with her it just felt so right and easy to say. She tells all of her friends she loves them but she said with me it was just different. Also another cool thing is that in no way did telling her this change how we talk, only how we feel about each other. I think that when two people have what we have, it can work out. After all when you love someone you will do anything for them and they will do the same for you. I am so happy; I am gonna go see her pretty soon.
downcydeguy Posted September 24, 2005 Posted September 24, 2005 At such a young age, you and herwill go through so many changes within the next couple of years. I will first say that long distance relationships very rarely work out. My girlfriend and I both travel extensively and are apart quite often. It worked for the first 2 1/2 years. However, she left last month for a 4-month school project to live in Spain with a Spanish family. Sadly, this trip is the straw that broke the camel's back. Here's my point about your ages. You are both at similar points in the cycle of life and can experience many things together for the first time. I'm 27, my g/f is 21 - big difference in life experiences. I will voice my concern however, that if there is no chance of you spending actual time together, as opposed to over the phone/internet, then I'm afraid you're wasting your time. Many people frown upon serious relationships at your age but I don't. I truly believe they CAN work if the situation is right. You two need to have a serious conversation about taking the next step. This will include discussing whether or not either of you are willing to move to the other's area anytime in the near future. Otherwise, start dating others and go from there. Good luck.
Author just someone Posted December 2, 2005 Author Posted December 2, 2005 Haven’t been on here in awhile and I thought I would post an update on my situtuion. Well what can I say everything is awesome because I have decided to go to college where she is and well, we met up the other day and she is even more awesome in person than I could have ever dreamed. When we were together it was so much better that I could hold her and kiss her and just be there with her physically. We still have to figure out what we are going to do about seeing each other until I move up there which is next fall. I was thinking maybe seeing each other every weekend and I know she would want it way that to. I just have to say this to everyone that doesn’t think that an LDR can work out, they can, it just takes one person to make the move and when two people love each other enough they will do anything for each other. However though, if neither of the two people want to move then the relationship will fail; it may work for awhile but eventually it will start to decline and just die. Don’t let this happen if you really love the person because you will regret it. Thanks to everyone for the help and I hope everyone else’s LDR’s work out for them. -Michael
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