chillii Posted January 30, 2019 Posted January 30, 2019 lf l met someone dating 3 or 4 people that would tell me so many things about her that she;'d be deleted so fast l'd break the button. 1
stillafool Posted January 30, 2019 Posted January 30, 2019 lf l met someone dating 3 or 4 people that would tell me so many things about her that she;'d be deleted so fast l'd break the button. If she were dating 3 or 4 guys she probably wouldn't have time to give you her number to delete.
Author c1nderella Posted January 30, 2019 Author Posted January 30, 2019 Thanks everyone for your comments. Ugh.. I feel like poop today. It’s only day 2 of NC with a guy i barely know smh. I deleted my tinder and bumble as I just couldn’t find anyone on there and I was t interested in that guy that asked to meet this week. Dating is so so repetitive ... the guys ask the same damn questions to get to know me and my answers get short everytime because I’m tired of repeating them. Or the guys I match with don’t even initiate or answer lol I was thinking that since I already had sex with this guy and the fact that he doesn’t persue me as I would like to he did it enough for me to latch on.. just the bare minimum..maybe now he just sees me as a bootycall. I know it’s easier for guys to get sex from someone they’ve already hooked up with then to find a new girl to just have sex with. I mean he could have been using me just for sex as he was wooing another girl. There’s a couple of things I didn’t tell you guys. So, from the very beginning this guy brought up the sex talk.. but not sexting.. more like “have you been checked for stds” talk. He said he was very protective over his body and that if we started dating and we end up having sex he wanted to make sure I was clean because he was 100% sure he was since he recently got tested after his last gf a few months ago and that if I wasn’t on birth control it would be a good idea to get on it. He said he didnt like having sex with multiple people at once that he was a germaphobe and that to him one on one things were better. I ended up getting an std check because he kept asking if I was clean and I kept telling him yes and that I hadn’t had unprotected sex since the last time I got checked. But I did it so we both would be relaxed and stop worrying about it. We had sex a couple of times with condom but after the std Check we had unprotected sex. Each time after sex at my place we always took a shower afterwards because he wanted to.. which idk I thought it was weird in a way but maybe he just doesn’t like smelling like sex? Lol idk I never asked. I mean afterwards we always cuddled and watched tv and watch music videos or just talk about each other ..basically things we didn’t talk about through texts. He would ask me things about myself and talk about work with me and such. But now I’m thinking that he’s probably only going to hit me up next time if he’s horny. That’s if he’s not already found someone else for that he better not come around because having sex with multiple people at once it’s gross and he said do himself so I would hope he doesn’t reach out to me if this is the case.. I’m supposed to get on birth control next week which he knows. I’m not only doing it for him but for my protection as well. He might disappear and I’ll end up meeting someone new and especially now that I have insurance I wanted to take advantage since I havnt had insurance in a long time. I know someone said hold off and not have sex with him if we meet again but My question is.. if someone only sees you as just that.. a sex buddy, bootycall.. how do you turn things around so he won’t see you that way? Can you even change their mind by just removing the sex? Or do you just talk to them and tell them you want more than this? I mean Im pretty sure he knows I obviously want more. I flipped out about a week ago and went NC for one day to see if he’ll initiate contact with him and didn’t hear anything from him. I texted the next day and sent him a very mature text telling him that it felt as if I didn’t reach out I didn’t hear from him and He said that wasn’t true and if I was ok. I told him that I was actually upset at him because I wanted to see him over the weekend and when I reached out he was busy “with his family” and that he was going to let me know if he could see me and nothing. So I told him that i was feeling like I was liking him more than he liked me and I didn’t think it was fair. So to let me know if he was seeing other people so I could do the same and he responded with “We can talk later about this, I’m sorry you feel that way”. I of course didnt hear from him after that so I texted him the next day trying to “apologize” if I exaggerated but that I would rather talk in person. Everything was like nothing afterwards we started sexting smh. But yeah what do y’all think?
Eternal Sunshine Posted January 30, 2019 Posted January 30, 2019 No, it's because he's not that into you. All this behavioural analysis and psychological profiling, you don't need it. You're thinking about this all wrong. Trying to 'win' the attention of someone who's only half interested in you in the first place is shooting yourself in the foot. You're playing to win the booby prize. Since the male and female dating coaches are both teaching 'communicate less', pretty soon nobody will talk to anybody. When two genuine people meet and are interested in each other, you don't need any of this. You don't have problems to overcome in the first few weeks. You don't need to prove your value or play the right role. I'm all for self-improvement in dating and relationships, but the goal should be to reduce your issues and insecurities and make yourself a better person, not to try to adapt like a chameleon to match your latest date. Exactly. All this psychological pretzeling is completely unnecessary. When 2 people are really into each other, it’s next to impossible to mess things up - especially in the early stages of dating.
alphamale Posted January 31, 2019 Posted January 31, 2019 When 2 people are really into each other, it’s next to impossible to mess things up - especially in the early stages of dating. I totally agree with this statement ES
Author c1nderella Posted January 31, 2019 Author Posted January 31, 2019 I guess i just need to go watch the movie "He's Just Not That Into You" and cry myself to sleep ...lol
Andy_K Posted January 31, 2019 Posted January 31, 2019 I know someone said hold off and not have sex with him if we meet again but My question is.. if someone only sees you as just that.. a sex buddy, bootycall.. how do you turn things around so he won’t see you that way? You can't. All you can do is decide to take that lesson on board now, or learn it the harder and more painful way. Most of the time if a guy sees you as a booty call, it's because he has already decided you aren't relationship potential for some reason, and it's not something you have the power to change. For example maybe he doesn't find you attractive enough. This won't stop him wanting sex, as there's a much lower attractiveness standard for sex partner than for girlfriend. Another reason could be distance, or one of you having kids, being a smoker, etc. He might even have just decided he thinks you're a bit crazy. What he thinks doesn't matter... the point is, you can't fight it. If you don't get clear interest, you move on. 1
Author c1nderella Posted January 31, 2019 Author Posted January 31, 2019 You can't. All you can do is decide to take that lesson on board now, or learn it the harder and more painful way. Most of the time if a guy sees you as a booty call, it's because he has already decided you aren't relationship potential for some reason, and it's not something you have the power to change. For example maybe he doesn't find you attractive enough. This won't stop him wanting sex, as there's a much lower attractiveness standard for sex partner than for girlfriend. Another reason could be distance, or one of you having kids, being a smoker, etc. He might even have just decided he thinks you're a bit crazy. What he thinks doesn't matter... the point is, you can't fight it. If you don't get clear interest, you move on. Well that sucks
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