Realitysux Posted January 28, 2019 Posted January 28, 2019 Today I was at a job I hated and have been settling career wise because of these excuses such as my appearance, my wardrobe, I'm not smart enough, etc.. I have been taking the worst jobs possible as if I've been hiding. Well, due to the lifestyle I have chosen, I've been a bit depressed lately and feeling isolated and lonley. That caused me to be a bit paranoid and I've been feeling pretty unsettled and scared lately. I am not going to get into details but things have been hard for a few years now. I moved here about 4 years ago and only now am I making some pretty good friends. I was talking to this guy at work and he opened my eyes and made me realize that I am wasting my time working these jobs and really need to get myself a real one. I am going to do that in the morning. I'm going to start. I was tempted to send an email to this guy explaining how I met someone whom I am interested in dating and whom would like to take me on a date. Then I asked myself why I felt the need to tell him and it hit me that I am still hiding from this person and his opinion of me. For the first time, it made me realize that there are things I have to resolve with in myself in order to lead a better life. For starters, I am obsessive. I can be obsessive which prevents balance. I am also afraid of being alone. I don't like to be alone and can't imagine the thought of driving in a car alone. I get scared thinking about being in isolated places and even have panick attacks. I need to be amongst a lot of people. Just the beginning of thinking out loud. I am not expecting any responses.
Author Realitysux Posted January 28, 2019 Author Posted January 28, 2019 (edited) It felt really nice to be in a position where a guy asked me out again. I've been out with guys but they usually just happened. This guy came in specifically to ask me out. I am also really confused if I like him or the situation where he asked me out. He has a good job, he's a nice person, in a similar situation as me and is decent looking. Edited January 28, 2019 by Realitysux
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