Laundry Posted January 28, 2019 Posted January 28, 2019 So long story short, I was lucky/unlucky enough to sit next a pretty girl by pure coincidence in one of my classes. In the span of 4-5 classes things went smooth like a baby's bottom, 100% responsiveness, laughed, talked, etc. So, that 5th class I asked her out for coffee at the university's Starbucks, a simple coffee date, she said "yes, sure!" gave me her number, then we talked/laughed the rest of the class, said I would message her later to fix the details. All good. Later that day, as I had said, I texted her proposing a day, she said she was busy, then I asked her what day would work for her and then...no response. This was 3-4 days ago. It's not the first time I have been ghosted but it definitely the one that caught me by FAR the most off guard. Now, tbh, I'm already over it, but I'm kinda confused as to how I should act tomorrow considering I'm gonna be sitting right next to her. For now I am basically gonna pretend like nothing happened, and just act normal without addressing the ghosting at all. In my head the most obvious thing she can do would be to switch seats. Should she do this, I am planning on approaching her and saying that she shouldn't worry about the whole thing, that I can move seats so she doesn't have to and that we are cool. Honestly, I simply want her to understand that I am fine with rejection and that she shouldn't worry about me reacting bad to it. Any comments/suggestions are welcome. Thanks in advance.
Marc878 Posted January 28, 2019 Posted January 28, 2019 So long story short, I was lucky/unlucky enough to sit next a pretty girl by pure coincidence in one of my classes. In the span of 4-5 classes things went smooth like a baby's bottom, 100% responsiveness, laughed, talked, etc. So, that 5th class I asked her out for coffee at the university's Starbucks, a simple coffee date, she said "yes, sure!" gave me her number, then we talked/laughed the rest of the class, said I would message her later to fix the details. All good. Later that day, as I had said, I texted her proposing a day, she said she was busy, then I asked her what day would work for her and then...no response. This was 3-4 days ago. It's not the first time I have been ghosted but it definitely the one that caught me by FAR the most off guard. Now, tbh, I'm already over it, but I'm kinda confused as to how I should act tomorrow considering I'm gonna be sitting right next to her. For now I am basically gonna pretend like nothing happened, and just act normal without addressing the ghosting at all. In my head the most obvious thing she can do would be to switch seats. Should she do this, I am planning on approaching her and saying that she shouldn't worry about the whole thing, that I can move seats so she doesn't have to and that we are cool. Honestly, I simply want her to understand that I am fine with rejection and that she shouldn't worry about me reacting bad to it. Any comments/suggestions are welcome. Thanks in advance. I wouldn't say a word. Just go to class and act civil but don't approach. She accepted then ghosted you which is pretty pathetic. You don't owe her a damn thing bud. It's vice versa. Not that you'll get anything. Sit where you normally sit. Let her move if she wants. Don't act like a doormat over this. 2
LivingWaterPlease Posted January 28, 2019 Posted January 28, 2019 Very cool way of handling it, Laundry. However, there may have been a reason she didn't get back with you other than the fact she didn't want to go. Wait and see what happens during this next class. I do think addressing it casually, as you mentioned you'd do if she moved, would be a good idea. 1
Author Laundry Posted January 28, 2019 Author Posted January 28, 2019 Thanks for the answers so far peeps. Appreciate it.
preraph Posted January 28, 2019 Posted January 28, 2019 Just be your normal self. It's too easy to communicate these days that something happened that prevented her from letting you off the hook. Maybe she won't even come to class, though. Better her than you. Do NOT you be apologetic. See if she has anything to say, and if not, forget her and do change seats. Find a new girl to flirt with. 2
Curiousroxy86 Posted January 28, 2019 Posted January 28, 2019 I wouldn't say anything to her just move on
Highndry Posted January 28, 2019 Posted January 28, 2019 You treat her like you don't even know her, being cordial if the situation calls for it. What you don't do is act all butthurt, or go out of your way to tell her you'll move seats or any of that weak behavior. You remain in your seat and keep a stiff upper lip. 2
soyou Posted January 28, 2019 Posted January 28, 2019 I think these days people try to play cool, act cool so much and pretend like the issue never existed. I'm one of those that when somebody shyted on me, I would definitely come back and let them know that what they did was disrespectful and unacceptable (depending on what they did and the level of disrespect) If everyone plays it cool, then this person would never learn that her behavior could hurt somebody else. I would make a little joke when confronting her or adding a little laugh so she knows that even though I dont get hurt from her action, it's uncool of her to do so. P/S: You didnt do anything shameful, why would you have to sit anywhere else. Sit where you wanna seat, talk whatever you want. Why are you being afraid of somebody who did you wrong? 1
Author Laundry Posted January 28, 2019 Author Posted January 28, 2019 Thanks so much for all the responses so far. A quick update, I went to class and simply sat down, just payed attention and did my thing, she barely even talked to me, as soon as class was over I simply stood up and left casually. Idk if it is worth saying anything, what would it really accomplish? I got the message, she knows what she did, she knows it's ****ty. End of story I guess.
olivetree Posted January 28, 2019 Posted January 28, 2019 Nope, do not say anything. Just continue as you are doing - going to class and acting unphased.
PRW Posted January 28, 2019 Posted January 28, 2019 (edited) So long story short, I was lucky/unlucky enough to sit next a pretty girl by pure coincidence in one of my classes. In the span of 4-5 classes things went smooth like a baby's bottom, 100% responsiveness, laughed, talked, etc. So, that 5th class I asked her out for coffee at the university's Starbucks, a simple coffee date, she said "yes, sure!" gave me her number, then we talked/laughed the rest of the class, said I would message her later to fix the details. All good.Great. No problem so far. With adults I tell them, no coffee dates, no daytime dates. But I make an exception here with kids in school which probably are never going to survive more than a couple months anyway. So anyway, no problem at this point. Later that day, as I had said, I texted her proposing a day, she said she was busy, then I asked her what day would work for her and then...no response. This was 3-4 days ago.Don't expect adult behavor from kids in school,...even when you are one of them. At this stage you have to look at it like a game of tennis. You hit the ball to her side of the net and wait for her to hit the ball back. If she doesn't then you just forget about it,...she might change her mind later. It's not the first time I have been ghosted but it definitely the one that caught me by FAR the most off guard.You aren't ghosted. She just changed her mind or whatever, and didn't respond. Ghosted is when two people have advanced to the point that each "owes" the other one at least a little responsibility,...which neither of you have reached yet. So at this point it is just "nothing",...a big "0". For now I am basically gonna pretend like nothing happened, and just act normal without addressing the ghosting at all.You treat it like it never happened, treat it like it was nothing because it WAS nothing. I am planning on approaching her and saying that she shouldn't worry about the whole thing, that I can move seats so she doesn't have to and that we are cool.That would be the stupidest thing you could do. There is no RIGHT way to word it. The truth is that you are still "pointing out the situation", sticking it in her face, and putting her on the spot,...you never win over any woman by pointing out what you think she did wrong (no matter how cleverly you phrase it). It is also very needy whether you think it is or not. Coming up with some clever way to word it does not change what it really is. Yes, she most likely will change seats if you bring it up and make any kind of a "thing" out of it. Keep you mouth shut, and she will stay. If she later brings up spending time together then you make another offer, but not until then,...the ball is still on her side of the net right now. Edited January 28, 2019 by PRW
Juha Posted January 28, 2019 Posted January 28, 2019 Treat her like she is dead to you!!! Go to class do your thing, do not even acknowledge she exists. If she approaches you for anything but to apologize be curt and cordial. Youhave no reason to have people like her in your life.
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