dinner Posted January 28, 2019 Posted January 28, 2019 (edited) About a week ago my gf of 8 months and I (both 22) were walking by a park (not a regular one but one with exotic species planted in a greenhouse and other cool stuff) and I said it would be nice to visit the park sometime. We didn't have time then but just walked by. Today she was hanging out with a guy friend (which normally isn't a problem) but then he suggested while they were out walking to go to that park and since they were just out walking with no time restriction she said ok. Then later she told me about how they went there and I got kind of hurt because I suggested we go there. She thinks I'm out of line and I can see her side of the argument (we can always go there together later and stuff) but it feels kind of boring now that she has already done it and the excitement of doing it together for the first time has kind of vanished and I don't want to force her to go there again just because I haven't seen it. I think it's fine that if I suggest something to do together that she holds out doing it with other people first. Am I just being a really jealous boyfriend or what to people generally think about this? Edited January 28, 2019 by dinner Grammer/spelling
doyathinkso Posted January 28, 2019 Posted January 28, 2019 She's not very sensitive, is she? Or maybe it's just that she's not very bright? Either way, you are not being jealous. She is being an inconsiderate a$$. Maybe you need to look for a better match. This one isn't it. 2
Juha Posted January 28, 2019 Posted January 28, 2019 Yes, I agree that your gf is not very bright as far as the relationship goes. Maybe she is not that invested in the relationship. Seems like she does not think you are all that special and wants to do things with you very much... Maybe you need to rethink this relationship I wish you the best
Gretchen12 Posted January 28, 2019 Posted January 28, 2019 It's like you said you wanted to see a certain movie and you guys had planned to see it some time soon and then she watched with someone else (could be a girl friend), and you are upset when you found out she's seen it. Then she tells you she doesn't mind seeing it again and that you are out of line to be upset. I think most 10 year olds understand why you'd be upset. Something is not right with your girlfriend. You should make a mental note of her problem, because she'll do something similar again, and so she's probably not a keeper. You can be disappointed. But don't dwell on it.
smackie9 Posted January 28, 2019 Posted January 28, 2019 Just my opinion but when you have a SO, I feel they should be the one you think of first. Sure nothing wrong with having opposite sex friends, but there comes a time when you need to adjust your interaction with then when in a committed relationship, just out of respect. Hanging out one one one IMO is not appropriate because it's like dating each other, going to the park or going to a movie, camping. If it's a group thing, or all of ya going out together, or go for a quick beer, seems more fair. I don't think she's really there yet with knowing how to be in a relationship. Now that is just how I feel. I would never date someone who thought otherwise, and that just means we are not compatible is all. So OP you may want to think carefully on this. If she doesn't understand where you are coming from, maybe you two are just too far apart on your expectations and boundaries. 1
snowboy91 Posted January 28, 2019 Posted January 28, 2019 While I don't have a problem with partners having opposite sex friends, I'd be a little annoyed that if I said to my partner that I really wanted to do something, and she did it with one of her friends. I wouldn't necessarily see it as a sign of interest in the other person, but I'd at least be a little miffed about missing out since it was something we wanted to do together. I wouldn't call that a deal breaker by any stretch though, it's something that is easily fixed with a bit of communication. The only thing I see as a really big deal is that she thinks you're "out of line". Dismissing your feelings like that isn't ok at any point of a relationship. I'd definitely be keeping an eye on whether things like that come up again.
Curiousroxy86 Posted January 28, 2019 Posted January 28, 2019 I wouldn't like that either but then again I'm not as tolerant of platonic friendships as other people. I guess if I were in your shoes and I was tolerant of this guy friend this would be one of those things I really don't like and am probably re-evaluating my relationship with her but not yet ready to breakup It's not good that she wasn't sensitive to how this makes you feel like one poster said. However I also would assume she didn't mean anything by it. May have to eat this one. Observe and make sure there aren't other areas of similar insensitivity. If she is an otherwise good girlfriend this could be forgiveable (again if the platonic friendship really doesn't bother you). But if you had other incidents of feeling under valued especially when it comes to the guy friend then I would highly consider letting her go.
TheFinalWord Posted January 28, 2019 Posted January 28, 2019 Wow, man. I guess I am oldschool. My gf hanging out in a park with another guy? I wouldn't be cool with that at all. 2
Marc878 Posted January 28, 2019 Posted January 28, 2019 Dating is a try out. Pay attention before you get to far into this. 1
Highndry Posted January 28, 2019 Posted January 28, 2019 Wow, man. I guess I am oldschool. My gf hanging out in a park with another guy? I wouldn't be cool with that at all. Yeah, me neither. Next.... 2
TheFinalWord Posted January 28, 2019 Posted January 28, 2019 Plus, I don't believe it was just a coincidence this guy picked the same park and it was his idea 2
mortensorchid Posted January 28, 2019 Posted January 28, 2019 Communication is key to everything in life. If you do or don't want something to happen, then you must say to the person your thoughts and feelings on it. If you do or don't want something, make a decision and go on with it. 1
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