sfroncz1 Posted January 27, 2019 Posted January 27, 2019 So I’m completely fine hearing hard truths but I was wondering if I could get some insight. I’ve been broken up with my ex gf for a little over 5 months. She cheated on me, begged me back, and then left me for a coworker after 2.5 years together and talking of marriage. I took it really hard and cried/tried to get her back for like a month, but eventually, I just went NC. Stupidly reached out on Christmas drunk just wishing her a happy holiday, and she never responded. Recently on like my monthly glance of her social media (sorry but I did it), I noticed on her Instagram she deleted the 2 most recent photos of us that were inconsequential (5 months after the fact), but left all the other big stuff (anniversaries, kissing photos, long posts about how I’m her one and only and the man of her dreams). In this span, she only has one New Years post with the guy and it details that she was glad to have a vacation with “friends, family, and loved ones.” My question is this: this is a girl who seemingly moved on quick but when we together sang my praises to no end on social media. She barely says anything about this guy. Seems strange. Also, I don’t understand a partial small social media purge of just 2 recent photos. Any insight would be greatly appreciated. I will make it clear though that I will remain NC and moving on with my life. I will not message her. Just curious what you all think.
PegNosePete Posted January 28, 2019 Posted January 28, 2019 Recently on like my monthly glance of her social media (sorry but I did it) Why are you apologising to us? You didn't hurt any of us - you shot yourself in the foot! And now look what it has caused. I hope this changes your policy of looking at her social media because this thread is exactly the reason you should NOT do that. My question is this: this is a girl who seemingly moved on quick but when we together sang my praises to no end on social media. She barely says anything about this guy. Seems strange. Also, I don’t understand a partial small social media purge of just 2 recent photos. Any insight would be greatly appreciated. My question is this: this is a girl who cheated on you, hurt you, betrayed you in the worst way possible. Why do you give 2 short ships what she does or does not do on her social media? Why are you so obsessed with finding motivations for her actions? Why are you even looking at her social media? You're really only harming yourself by cyber-stalking her, here. So why do you keep doing it? I will make it clear though that I will remain NC and moving on with my life. Do you know what NC is? I think you need to read the sticky thread on this forum https://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/470829-all-new-2014-no-contact-guide which will tell you how to implement NC PROPERLY.
Author sfroncz1 Posted January 28, 2019 Author Posted January 28, 2019 Fair enough. Just the classic Loveshack response I guess
ExpatInItaly Posted January 28, 2019 Posted January 28, 2019 Who knows? It could be something as simple as her starting to delete your photos, then getting distracted doing something else and will wind up deleting the rest later. Or maybe she got rid of just those two because they're more recent and more visible to others who visit her profile. As for why she hasn't said much about her new boyfriend on her social media, there are a few reasons. She could be using more discretion this time around with trumpeting her relationship online because she now knows it isn't so fun to go back and delete all of it after breaking up. Or perhaps she's unsure of exactly where they stand so she hasn't posted much about him yet. Maybe he isn't comfortable with grand declarations for all to see. Pete is right though - you really need to stop looking at her stuff. It's causing you to spend mental energy wondering about things that are likely of no real importance to you anymore.
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted January 28, 2019 Posted January 28, 2019 She probably didn't like those two pics for whatever reason.
PRW Posted January 28, 2019 Posted January 28, 2019 She didn't move on quick. It has been going on for a while now. She just didn't pull the trigger until she had another guy lined up to replace you. There is nothing unusual about this,...it is one of the most common ways this stuff plays out. Your bad behavor that you have already pointed out yourself are nothing more than signs and examples of what has probably been happening all along the way in one form or another. These are the type of things that erode and destroy the relationship over a longer period of time. This stuff usually goes noticed by the man and it will over time drain the woman's "Love Tank" till there is nothing left. The reason they can seem to move on so fast and even be "cold" about it is because they have no real feelings left,...the tank is dry. There are likely tons of YouTube videos on this stuff and who knows how many books on it,..but one book I often recommend is Corey Wayne's book called "How to be a 3% Man". I'm sure it isn't the only one out there explaining this but it is the one I am the most familiar with.
Fekenaws Posted January 28, 2019 Posted January 28, 2019 In my experience op, indirect contact and social media "weirdness" like that means absolutely nothing. My ex and I broke up about 4 months ago, we had a "gentle" breakup, no cheating or angry fights involved. I was devastated but went NC immediately. 2 months into our break up she finally removed our pictures on Instagram, but she left our old pictures up on FB (although they are buried under her new photos at this point). 3 months into our break up she finally "liked" one of my FB pictures I had just posted. A week after that she viewed a snap story of mine, the first since we broke up. 3 Weeks after that she viewed another snap story I had posted. Conclusion? She and I have still not spoken a single word to each other since we broke up, which to me indicates low interest on her part to have any sort of reconciliation. Is she curious about how my life is going? Probably, but not curious enough to try and get back together with me, and I'm not looking to add another friend to my life.
Author sfroncz1 Posted January 28, 2019 Author Posted January 28, 2019 All great points. Thank you all. Will stop looking and just keeping on doing me like I have been. Hopefully, I got her out of my system very soon or someone more special walks into my life
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