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If you and AP were single would you move into a relationship with them?

dupedforreal123

By dupedforreal123
in General Relationship Discussion

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dupedforreal123 Member

dupedforreal123

Posted
Posted (edited)

Knowing what you know now say 10 years from now and both you and your [affair partner] were available (single) would you move into a relationship with them if you had the chance? Why or Why not?

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Edit acronym and move to GRD and clarify title
Lotus_Luna Established Member

Lotus_Luna

Posted
Posted

Absolutely. To me, he is exactly the man I want to be with. The dynamic of our relationship makes me feel secure, happy and supportive.

 

I’m sure I’ll get some negative responses, but this is the truth.

 

It didnt start this good, we both have grown closer and healthier over time. We’ve ended a few times but each tome we reconnected it was stronger then the last.

 

I dont know if we will end up together.

  • 2 weeks later...
Naivewomen Established Member

Naivewomen

Posted
Posted

@LL are u still with him?

loversquarrel Established Member

loversquarrel

Posted
Posted

I would have, she is now my wife.

Prudence V Established Member

Prudence V

Posted
Posted

We did. :love::love::love::love::love::love:

RecentChange Established Member

RecentChange

Posted
Posted

Nope.

 

I knew the things about him, the things that make them an unsuitable long term partner that his wife didn’t know.

 

I also know that our affair was an escape from reality, not something “real”.

Rayce Established Member

Rayce

Posted
Posted

Since I am not really sure what happened I would give him the benefit of the doubt and say... Yes he is my hearts desire. :love:

somanymistakes Established Member

somanymistakes

Posted
Posted

Move 'into' a relationship? Aren't you already in a relationship, if you're APs? Just a kind of mixed-up one.

 

Do you mean get married or something? I'm not sure I ever want to get married. Between my parents' terrible relationship and the legal nightmare we're still trying to sort out with my boyfriend's wife, the idea of marriage is leaving a bad taste in my mouth right now.

Happy Lemming Established Member

Happy Lemming

Posted
Posted

I've always been single, but I did "date" a married woman who was in a love-less, sex-less marriage.

 

Things were GREAT, especially the sex!! We were very compatible. We traveled/adventured, liked the same things and really enjoyed each other very much.

 

We broke up because she wanted to give her marriage another chance. So if she hadn't been married (at all) I do think we would have had a great relationship.

Lotus_Luna Established Member

Lotus_Luna

Posted
Posted
@LL are u still with him?

 

Yes

 

We both have changed a lot over the relationship. It has a strong healing energy from childhood and relationship traumas.

 

I know thats not typical of an affair. But he is a dear friend, I do respect him greatly.

  • Like 1
Naivewomen Established Member

Naivewomen

Posted
Posted

@LL I'm happy for you!!.:)

Lotus_Luna Established Member

Lotus_Luna

Posted
Posted
@LL I'm happy for you!!.:)

 

Thank you, but it isnt perfect. Our relationship my not be a cloche but it has it’s struggles too.

  • Like 1
burnt Established Member

burnt

Posted
Posted

NO.

 

It's been six years since the start of the affair which last a bit over a year.

 

Time brings perspective that no-one can make you understand. Six years ago, I would have given up my entire world, everything about myself and followed him to the end of the world without thinking with blind love.

 

I came to this site thinking everyone was different from me--I was the exception that I was the one who discovered true undying love.

 

Now...

I would much rather be raped now than spend a single second in his company.

pepperbird Established Member

pepperbird

Posted
Posted
NO.

 

It's been six years since the start of the affair which last a bit over a year.

 

Time brings perspective that no-one can make you understand. Six years ago, I would have given up my entire world, everything about myself and followed him to the end of the world without thinking with blind love.

 

I came to this site thinking everyone was different from me--I was the exception that I was the one who discovered true undying love.

 

Now...

I would much rather be raped now than spend a single second in his company.

 

 

That is a very extreme statement. Was it that bad?

burnt Established Member

burnt

Posted
Posted
That is a very extreme statement. Was it that bad?

 

Yes.

 

I joined this site a few years ago following the end of the affair. I wrote many posts replying to other people's stories, but to this day I never wrote my whole story here. It's unusual and unique. Ugly in the way I got treated.

 

Everyone in my life (friends, coworkers) knows of the affair story--I don't hide my life story from the people I interact with. If you knew the details, you would understand why I'd much rather deal with just about anything else than ever spend a single second in his company.

preraph Established Member

preraph

Posted
Posted

You'd do it knowing he'd just cheat on you and expect you to be cool about it.

DKT3 Established Member

DKT3

Posted
Posted

Kinda along the lines of what burnt said, I think most women would say yes in the affair or shortly after it ending unless its was like my wife or Recent Change where there recognized from the start the the AP wasnt someone they would be interested in long term. With time and distance that opinion or feeling tend to rotate 180°.

 

Hard to see the flaws and damage from too close.

 

In my personal opinion I could never be with a woman if I wanted another.

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