aspire1 Posted January 27, 2019 Posted January 27, 2019 (edited) I am in relation with a lady for three years now. For the better part of the time I am far out of town on a site, but we keep in contact when I am gone and when I am back we enjoy each others company. What I like about the whole thing is that she initiated most of the time which just seemed right. I was supposed to return home in October last year but was delayed because of unfinished work. She just became extra loving with and more frequent with her calls and texts, that she misses me and cant wait etc. I was a bit overwhelmed and really developed the same feelings. I finally arrived back 23 December. But what was strange and very confusing is that she just avoided meeting up (she still lived with her parents and for being together we went to my place). It was becoming very agonizing very quickly because we only communicated via text and calls whiles I am in town. The worst still is that she is the one doing the most calling and texting and it remains still loving. She even initiated meeting up but stood me up all of the four times over the two weeks. Now my heart is racing. I could guess off the top of my mind that she was involved with someone. It was extremely confusing still. I asked her and she denied. I went to their home and met with her father. Her father told me that she moved in with a guy and only visits there sometimes. I was shocked but managed to get home. I decided to cut contact, but she keeps calling and initiating meet up. Although I was fuming I kept calm, when we met I asked her about the someone she lived with now-she denied. I told her if that was the case why she was leading me on while I was away, and continue stringing me when I came back. It was obvious that she avoided me because she is with someone and did not want sex etc. I left it there and cut contact, in eight days she calls me and wants to meet up to talk over, I agree thinking ok it may help me to understand what went. Well she stood me up does not even give excuse, but next morning she calls to ask for money. This obviously took me to levels of rage I never felt, now I felt I need to tell her off before I cut contact forever so she knows. I called her that I wanted to meet. Of course she is with the guy so I decided to tell her over the phone that I am tired that she disrespects me that way, and that she saw me for a p...., also that she is not the only one with a p.... and that its done I am out. I still have mixed feelings and a shake in my body, it just feels I did not say or elaborate enough or if it had any effect. I still feel rage that she played me, I was still secretly expecting at least a text to say sorry or something after I told her off. I know I can never get back with her. The whole thing was just unexpected because she was leading me on and now I feel so overwhelmed-wanting her but spiting her. Edited January 27, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Paragraphs
doyathinkso Posted January 27, 2019 Posted January 27, 2019 Easy Peasy. Block her. Block her from your phone, email, antisocial media. Snail mail remains unopened and dropped back into the postbox marked Return to Sender.
ExpatInItaly Posted January 27, 2019 Posted January 27, 2019 OP, I am a little confused: your girlfriend moved in with another guy, and you had to hear this from her dad? Had you broken up by then? Was this an official relationship?
Marc878 Posted January 27, 2019 Posted January 27, 2019 How much money did you give her over time? You may have unwittgly financed her set up with her boyfriend. Sounds like you've been played for a fool. You don't need anything more that to ghost her. Stop wasting you time on this.
Author aspire1 Posted January 27, 2019 Author Posted January 27, 2019 Thank you for the responses. To give a bit more background. I helped her out with 400-600$ monthly, which I didn't mind and don't regret. The fact that I didn't know about her moving out and having to find out from her father is part of what is disturbing. That is what makes me wonder why, whiles I was away for the five months and she met someone. she did not cut contact and I could have calculated what was happening, or she did not told me via call or text that she found someone and moved in. I know it would still be difficult but not like this. I am sure she did not want me to stop sending money. Its now almost a full month and some days since I returned and we only met one time at a grocery. All this puzzles me extremely, its not normal, but there is almost nothing I could do, most of her excuses included being on monthly sickness, and feeling pain and discomfort to out anywhere, to being very tired from work and frustrated with the situation there and afraid that it may flow over and unsettle me etc. I am an impulsive person, still learning to handle things with reason, this makes me afraid that even if I stay no contact, I may blow up one day because of how I feel. I called her and repeated what I said the other day-she was surprisingly calm and simply just promised that she would call me to pick her up so we meet to talk, which she did not. Now I will not contact her again, I also don't feel like seeing her or talking to her again, but I long for her and feel rejected and surprised that she so easily threw me out.
doyathinkso Posted January 27, 2019 Posted January 27, 2019 Aaaawwwww, how sad. She misses your money.
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