Logo Posted January 27, 2019 Posted January 27, 2019 I match sometimes with women on a dating website, then I contact them. They respond back. I ask a question, they answer within an hour or two, but they don’t follow it up with a question. If I ask another question, they’ll answer it. But that’s not a conversation. What’s going on here? Can anyone explain?
Andy_K Posted January 27, 2019 Posted January 27, 2019 Mediocre interest level and a lot of other messages to respond to.
chillii Posted January 27, 2019 Posted January 27, 2019 (edited) And things like so many women on my date site were absolutely hopeless conversationalists with no personality, entitled. When a woman responded like that l dumped her right there l wasn't wasting my time on someone like that, l'd find someone else that actually had a personality and keenness. ps , and funny l noticed those ones often watched me for a few weeks after , bit of a joke , scratching their little head wondering what they did wrong. Edited January 27, 2019 by chillii
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted January 27, 2019 Posted January 27, 2019 They are polite, but not interested. Women are reared to be nice to everyone. Even when it's not really in their best interest.
salparadise Posted January 27, 2019 Posted January 27, 2019 I think they subscribe to the notion that it's up to the guy to pursue diligently while she feigns demure... zero effort on her part and all she has to do is select the one that's the best looking, most intriguing, makes the grandest gestures or has the fattest wallet. IOW, extreme entitlement based on gender. They aren't worth it. Even if you manage to break through it's always going to be a one-sided deal with over-the-top expectations and no appreciation. About a third to half of the first messages I get are two words, "hey there." My response is usually, "hey," which confuses the hell out of them.
chillii Posted January 27, 2019 Posted January 27, 2019 Yeah the impression l got too so l wasn't jumping any hoops. And it was amazing the differences you'd go find someone else and she'd be great . The thing was on mine , you had to like them and then them you back before you could talk to them. So l'd feel like sayin well why did you even waste our time liking me back if this is the best your gonna do.
mortensorchid Posted January 27, 2019 Posted January 27, 2019 They're just not that interested. End of story.
GraceAndJoy Posted January 27, 2019 Posted January 27, 2019 You are in the low-interest but not eliminate group. When I converse on online dating platforms (I'm 51 divorced woman), guys fall into one of three categories: High-interest--I'm really interested and highly engaged in conversation. I'm writing back constantly to get to know them and am really looking for dealbreakers before I lose interest, otherwise I am hoping to get to a date within a couple days of chatting... Low-interest--I have low interest because the profile has some less desirable qualities (distance, age, number of kids, appearance, etc) but no absolute deal-breakers, so I decide I'm okay getting to know them and see if a real connection feels to form... If at this stage I have a high-interest conversation going on, I may look like a lousy conversationalist to the low-interest guy...But things can change at the drop of a hat (see above). Killed-interest--As soon as they hit here (reveal a dealbreaker), I politely tell them we're not a match, but it was nice to chat and good luck on here. So if I were treating you as described, you'd be in my low-interest but not killed-interest category. If you like their profile, you may want to persist for a few days and see what happens. You could try answering your own questions after they do and see if that starts to build a connection. I know it would grab me if you said something about yourself that is really important to me (one of my main values that attracts me to guys).
Curiousroxy86 Posted January 27, 2019 Posted January 27, 2019 I match sometimes with women on a dating website, then I contact them. They respond back. I ask a question, they answer within an hour or two, but they don’t follow it up with a question. If I ask another question, they’ll answer it. But that’s not a conversation. What’s going on here? Can anyone explain? Women get a lot of message online. So many will just answer and don't try to be communicative unless you say something witty humorous or interesting that makes them want to be conversational. If you asking basic interview style questions then you may get bland responses So you can either a) be more conversational less interview-y and if she consistently responds bland don't message her anymore. Focus on women who responds conversational or b) ruthlessly stop messaging women who don't follow up question you after your bland interview questions. This method you will probably cut a lot of potentials If I were in your shoes I would pick a
nospam99 Posted January 27, 2019 Posted January 27, 2019 Stop the Q&A by message and share your phone # or ask if they want to meet! 2
smackie9 Posted January 27, 2019 Posted January 27, 2019 You just can't be boring, simple as that. You need to stand out, say something funny, or outlandish. Just be witty, something that would get their attention. Try it, it's not going to hurt anything.
chillii Posted January 27, 2019 Posted January 27, 2019 (edited) You are in the low-interest but not eliminate group. When I converse on online dating platforms (I'm 51 divorced woman), guys fall into one of three categories: High-interest--I'm really interested and highly engaged in conversation. I'm writing back constantly to get to know them and am really looking for dealbreakers before I lose interest, otherwise I am hoping to get to a date within a couple days of chatting... Low-interest--I have low interest because the profile has some less desirable qualities (distance, age, number of kids, appearance, etc) but no absolute deal-breakers, so I decide I'm okay getting to know them and see if a real connection feels to form... If at this stage I have a high-interest conversation going on, I may look like a lousy conversationalist to the low-interest guy...But things can change at the drop of a hat (see above). Killed-interest--As soon as they hit here (reveal a dealbreaker), I politely tell them we're not a match, but it was nice to chat and good luck on here. So if I were treating you as described, you'd be in my low-interest but not killed-interest category. If you like their profile, you may want to persist for a few days and see what happens. You could try answering your own questions after they do and see if that starts to build a connection. I know it would grab me if you said something about yourself that is really important to me (one of my main values that attracts me to guys). It all goes the same vise verse. Of course he's interested in one more , less, middle. l couldn't have cared less about most of women l spoke to later they might've just been a maybe when l pushed the like button , usually out of boredom anyway but eh you might've got a surprise too so never know. There was only 3 on on the whole site l gave anything for at all though, l'd found along the way. l live with one of them and she was def' my pick and the one the sights were really on 100% at that stage. There was one other earlier, we met and she was great too but really we just didn't have much in common we found out so. Edited January 27, 2019 by chillii
edgygirl Posted January 27, 2019 Posted January 27, 2019 Easy to say that, but when we show we are eager, men suddenly get less interested. So we know better than to show too much interest after being hit in the head a few times. IOW, extreme entitlement based on gender.
edgygirl Posted January 27, 2019 Posted January 27, 2019 I agree with GraceAndJoy, I also have a few categories of interest. If a guy is a good conversationalist and sounds more interesting than I initially thought, he jumps up to the high interest group. I prefer non-interview questions as well. Some people are just so good at messaging, they really manage to make their low-desired qualities seem less important.
Rayce Posted January 27, 2019 Posted January 27, 2019 lol my post is similar to this. The questions back and forth drive me crazy too. Just get to the chase and ask for a date or a phone number. That's what the girl is there for.
chillii Posted January 27, 2019 Posted January 27, 2019 (edited) Yeah same just get on the damn phone if your serious don't waste your time on ridiculous email monkey tricks. PS, unless one isn't comfortable with it so soon and fair enough , but as soon as she feel safe enough yeah jump on the phone. Edited January 27, 2019 by chillii
Gretchen12 Posted January 28, 2019 Posted January 28, 2019 depends on what questions you asked. and how hot you are in your photos.
Eternal Sunshine Posted January 28, 2019 Posted January 28, 2019 Don't ask her questions, especially not the run-of-the-mill ones. Say something witty that doesn't require an answer. Share something about yourself. Asking questions in every message actually shows low confidence to me. A man thinks that he has to tie the woman with the obligation to answer a question.
ShadeOfGreen Posted January 28, 2019 Posted January 28, 2019 Like others said, sounds like low interest. Women get lots of attention and messages with OLD, so you are most likely just one of many. It pays huge dividends to do something to really standout. Also, some people get frustrated with OLD. Message after message with no interesting conversation. Date after date that doesn't turn into anything for one reason or another. People can find themselves on autopilot just going through the motions, and not putting much effort into it. She could be in that mode. Who knows. Don't linger too long with messaging. If you feel like it's going nowhere, then suggest to meet. Use your in-person skills to make a difference. If she still shows no interest, then move on.
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