2 dates with a guy that seemed to have gone great and he’s ghosted me. ?

[willnotdoit]

TL;DR really clicked with a guy, after 2 dates, texting became less and less and I haven't heard from him in over a week. Feeling very defeated and upset. I've tried to move on by unfollowing him on insta and deleting his number/texts so I don't feel tempted but my heart is confused.

 

This is the first time in my years of dating, sleeping around I've been genuinely gobsmacked. If it's just been sex with a man, I'm expecting lack of communication or not even speaking for weeks or months. This situation, I cannot understand.

 

So.. I met this guy through a group of friends, we went to private schools near each other and we have quite a few mutual friends. He had been messaging me on and off for about 2 months until I was not seeing someone and decided it would be a good, respectful time to catch up. He picked me up, took me out to a fabulous restaurant and we had such a good night that the restaurant was closing up, people around us were leaving however we didn't even notice. We had to be told we only had 10 mins left before they were closing. We realised we had so many similarities, it made me think, wow, great I've met a lovely man and we have mutual friends, things in common etc. I was genuinely feeling hopeful. We caught up on the Thursday for example, he went away for a few days and that Sunday when he was back, he was desperate to see me.

 

We had another repeat, instead a lot more alcohol involved, but overall a great night (so I think). I ended up going back to his and he kindly dropped me home that morning for work. On the drive home, we laughed about the bartender who was being weird to us and how apparently I was making a lot of naughty noises and that we attempted at the parallel act a few times but being so tired, he laughed how he almost left the glad wrap on at one point. He asked which dog of his I preferred. Absolutely nothing indicated something went wrong that night. That coming weekend, I was going interstate for a few days of holiday.

 

Anyway, I didn't reach out thanking him (maybe that's where I went wrong) but that afternoon, he messaged me and thanked me for the night. He likes a particular politician and their news channel, one night texted me what he was watching and he said we could maybe watch it together before I leave. I explained it might be a bit tight for time. It was sort of after that, I was texting a bit less and he did the same. He didn't text me at all one day and reached out the next asking what day I'm going away, I asked the same as he was apparently going away for work for 2 weeks (he's an investment banker) anyway, it's been a week and I have not heard a single thing. After he didn't respond to me, he was following so many more girls on instagram and liking their photos, even liking a childhood friend of mines photos.

Edited January 26, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Paragraphs and synopsis at top

[Curiousroxy86]

Too many possibilities at the beginning stages of dating. It is better to accept you don't know, may never know, and more than likely would regret to know if you found out

 

When a man is not your boyfriend we must train ourselves to detach when something doesn't pan out even if it seemed so promising

 

He may have actually been involved or married and couldn't afford to play single anymore

 

He may be single and multi dating and decided to pursue someone else he liked better

 

He may found out something about you that was a deal breaker for him

 

He may not had intentions of continual dating or a relationship and just wanted to superficially connect with someone (or just wanted sex)

 

He may have had some personal life crisis and decided to temporarily or permanently withdraw from dating in general

 

We. Just. Don't. Know.

 

Accept that you don't know. Also that you want a man who doesn't disappear and keep it moving

[Grey40]

Yeah most likely it’s nothing you did, nothing in your story showed that it’s you that’s the problem. For whatever reason he decided he’s not interested, or maybe he’s going to wait until he gets back before he strikes up conversation again. There’s not really a point in texting daily this early on when you can’t actually meet up at all, you’ll end up killing the momentum more.

[TheFinalWord]

For whatever reason, he doesn't see anything long term. YOU really clicked. To me, he sees you as a FWB. An old friend, that he slept with quickly, had a good time, but not interested in anything more.

 

If you want a relationship with a man, you should wait to get physical until both of you have an emotional connection with each other.

[chillii]

Yeah , l was gonna say the same, see it over and over with the girls.

But yeah , he's no longer interested. You might hear from him again later with a few excuses but most likely half heartedly.

Edited January 26, 2019 by chillii

[edgygirl]

Been there a few times. I recommend taking your time to develop real emotional connection before sleeping with someone.

 

Men can compartamentalize sex much easier than we can. We get attached.

 

This way if you have sex too early, they usually are not yet attached to you and in most cases lose interest. Of course you can have sex on the first night and be together with someone for the rest of your life, but that’s not usually the case.

 

If you’re looking for a real connection and relationship, take more time getting to know someone - better with less alcohol so you don’t lose control of the situation.

[smackie9]

I dunno......, he may have gotten the impression she was blowing him off because the intensity of the dates didn't continue through in the messaging. It might be something that has happened to him in the past so he's not going to fight it.