Common For Folks To Change Their Mind About Marriage

[Jason93]

Yes that is the truth. I have done my own investigation and 70% of the married women I have interviewed said they initially did not plan on getting married or initially thought it was not important. Lo and behold here they are married.

 

This investigation has taught me an important lesson. Take it with a grain of salt if the woman I'm dating says marriage is not important to her. Of course she is going to feel that way in the beginning stages of dating me. However the way people feel today is subject to change as time goes on.

 

2-3 years into the relationship she is more likely to want a full time commitment in marriage. If I don't want to get married she is walking away.

 

I have seen it time and time again. I have been in at least 3 relationships that ended because she wanted marriage and I just wanted to date her the rest of my life. So nobody is going to convince me that it is uncommon for women to dump their boyfriends if they don't want to marry.

 

So what is my dating plan these days? Do I assume every woman who agrees to go out with me wants to marry me? Of course not. I will just keep dating her until she asks me a direct question about marriage and tell her I have no interest in getting married. At that point I'll break up with her and start over with a new woman. It will be a cycle of wash, rinse and dry and repeat. I'll find a new girlfriend every 2 years or whenever she brings up marriage.

 

That's all I can do. By the way even older women want marriage too in spite of being burned by a divorce. There is no age limit. People meet someone they are compatible with and they will generally marry even if they have said they would never do it again.

Edited January 26, 2019 by Jason93

[preraph]

Why don't you just let them know up front "I do not believe in marriage"? Save both of you some time and emotions. One of these days you too may be dating someone who you can't imagine letting go to date other men though and end up marrying her just so you don't lose her. Clearly you haven't cared much about these so far. That's what bothers them about it. You don't really care. They figure that out.

[Jason93]

Why don't you just let them know up front "I do not believe in marriage"? Save both of you some time and emotions. One of these days you too may be dating someone who you can't imagine letting go to date other men though and end up marrying her just so you don't lose her. Clearly you haven't cared much about these so far. That's what bothers them about it. You don't really care. They figure that out.

 

 

 

I am honest about my intentions when they bring up marriage and ask me if I have plans to marry in the future. I don't mislead women.

[RecentChange]

Well I am sure you know some anecdotes aren’t science, but here is my take.

 

Marriage was never important to me. It’s still not important to me that I am married. I am marrried because my husband proposed to me, and after a 9 year engagement we finally made it official (mostly for legal reasons).

 

So while marriage isn’t important to me, commitment is. I wouldn’t at all be interested in “dating” forever. I want someone I can live with, build a life with, dream of a future together with.

 

If I am going to invest in someone. Invest my time, my emotions, my dreams, my future.... then commitment becomes important.

 

And many women want children, marriage is important for that. I do not want kids, so it’s another reason I didn’t care about the paperwork.

 

To me, “dating” means you aren’t really going to invest in each other. You are going to share dinners and dates but not hopes and dreams. It’s more superficial than what I want in my life. I like having a partner, not just a boyfriend

[preraph]

I am honest about my intentions when they bring up marriage and ask me if I have plans to marry in the future. I don't mislead women.

 

Yes, I understand, but you should let them know up front because not everyone would talk about marriage in the first year.

[Jason93]

Yes, I understand, but you should let them know up front because not everyone would talk about marriage in the first year.

 

 

How early? Wouldn't it be rather presumptupus on my part to tell a woman on the 1st date that I'm not looking for marriage since not every woman I go out with wants to marry me?

[basil67]

How early? Wouldn't it be rather presumptupus on my part to tell a woman on the 1st date that I'm not looking for marriage since not every woman I go out with wants to marry me?

 

If you're using online dating, it should be part of your profile. If you meet someone organically, you'd want to let them know before they get attached to you.

[Jason93]

If you're using online dating, it should be part of your profile. If you meet someone organically, you'd want to let them know before they get attached to you.

 

I leave alot of things blank in online dating. When it asks for my occupation I leave it blank.

[basil67]

I leave alot of things blank in online dating. When it asks for my occupation I leave it blank.

 

You asked when to tell a woman that you never want to marry - this is the time. Or is it that you're concerned you'll get zero interest if you are honest?

[Jason93]

You asked when to tell a woman that you never want to marry - this is the time. Or is it that you're concerned you'll get zero interest if you are honest?

 

No. If I was concerned about not getting any responses then the marriage thing would have been the only thing I left blank in my profile.

[SophieG]

No. If I was concerned about not getting any responses then the marriage thing would have been the only thing I left blank in my profile.

 

Why would you leave your occupation blank? And I agree that this should be something you mention early on. Same as for having kids

[Jason93]

Why would you leave your occupation blank? And I agree that this should be something you mention early on. Same as for having kids

 

Because 99% of the time when people meet the first thing they ask within 5 minutes is what do you do for a living. Therefore I don't see the need to list my occupation on my profile. It will be talked about on the 1st date regardless.