Simple Logic Posted January 13, 2019 Posted January 13, 2019 If you go to the club, don’t drink alcohol. Have cola and no one knows the better. Let her get drunk and you evaluate.
PRW Posted January 13, 2019 Posted January 13, 2019 She is not interested and just being polite?Neither. She was being cautious and sensible. "Let's go back to my place after" = "Let's go back to my place a screw like rabbits" That is the common meaning and everyone knows it. It doesn't matter how you thought you meant it. She was on the fence to begin with. First she said no, then yes, then changed her mind to no. No rocket science here. She just didn't want to be a piece of meat. Stop approaching this like a horny high school kid. You are 27. As far as this girl, it went much better than I expected. You ought to be cheering and call it a victory compared to what I would have bet money it was going to be like. If next time you see her you act positive, "Had a nice time last weekend",..."Nice to see you again", yadda, yadda, yadda,...things might go well. If you act like a timid little "reject-ee",...asking her "Why she left?",..."Did I do anything wrong? Please forgive me, I'm sorry",... then things will go badly. Women talk to each other, about all the details, so if you make her an enemy or make her think you are a dweeb, then every girl she knows is your enemy or thinks you are a dweeb. Never burn bridges. 1
Malin889 Posted January 13, 2019 Posted January 13, 2019 What I remember from clubs in my youth is that, all you’re doing is saying “what??” The whole time because the music is too loud. It’s hard to have a decent conversation. Try another time to meet her at a quieter place. 1
Author Benrec Posted January 25, 2019 Author Posted January 25, 2019 Bahh.. here we go again. I met this girl (I posted about her before) on tinder. We have been on about 3 dates. 2 of which we stayed at her place. We hung out maybe a little too much. 3 dates on 5 days.. Well the first date we connected very well. Made out etc but I didnt push for sex. We had a good time together. Talked a lot. so next date we went to her place. We made dinner, and ended up having really great sex. She was very cozy and seemed like she couldnt get her hands off me. She wanted me to stay the night, but I couldnt. I went over the next evening (she asked). We was talking for 4 straight hours. She still seemed very interested and cozy etc but we didnt have sex this time. I noticed she did may become a little bit more distant after this. Not reaching out as much and I have had alot on my plate as well. I aksed her to come over to my house for dinner today(friday) on last monday. and she seemed a bit hesistant, but agreed.. I thoughr something felt off, but she asked if she could sleep over as well, so I figured things was OK. Funny thing about this situation and this girl is that I somehow did not care as much about the outcome as I have with previous girls. But this friday I was going to the store and I was getting real exited and happy that she was coming over. I was really looking forward to it. 2 hours before she cancelled because she said she was so extremely tired and dizzy and just wanted to stay alone at home. (Shes told me she has a contidion earlier, but vague about this). She was very apolagetic but did not reschedule. I just felt so deflated now because I was so looking forward to this. I have no idea if this was just a BS excuse or not. Maybe Im reading to much into this but I really, really ****ing hate last minute cancels. Really just shows its no point getting excited about anything..
Wallysbears Posted January 25, 2019 Posted January 25, 2019 Dates = going out places and doing something. Dates do NOT equal going to each other's house to "netflix and chill" and have sex. Or at least in my world, dates meant going out and doing something. At least initially. Save the cooking and playing house for later on. 1
Author Benrec Posted January 25, 2019 Author Posted January 25, 2019 (edited) Sure, we was out soing something on 1, and stayed at home for two.. but I get your point.. But there aint been much netflix and chill. Last time we didnt even turn the tv on.. Edited January 25, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Redact quote of prior post
ljwentworth32 Posted January 25, 2019 Posted January 25, 2019 Sure, we was out soing something on 1, and stayed at home for two.. but I get your point.. But there aint been much netflix and chill. Last time we didnt even turn the tv on.. Straight chill? Man I wish I was that good. But I mean in all seriousness, thats why dating and relationships are so hard and sometimes so frustrating. Because the only person that knows 100% how your partner feels towards you or towards the relationship is THE OTHER PERSON.
Author Benrec Posted January 25, 2019 Author Posted January 25, 2019 (edited) Haha yeah. I know.. just strange the whole situation. Suits me right for starting to get a bit emotionally attached.. two days ago I wouldnt really have cared but its something about last minute cancellation that really pisses me off.. I feel its disrespectful. But ofc I dont know what happened. Could be legit, but I have a bad guy feeling, and my gut rarely make mistakes.. Edited January 25, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Redact quote of prior post
Tamfana Posted January 25, 2019 Posted January 25, 2019 I'm confused. Have you ever asked her out and taken her out?
Simple Logic Posted January 25, 2019 Posted January 25, 2019 Maybe she just wanted a few days of sex, but your low energy to take her out for a real date probably doomed you.
manfrombelow2 Posted January 25, 2019 Posted January 25, 2019 I think 3 dates in 5 days are too much. You should have given her time to breathe. Moreoever, you didn't have sex with her in the 3rd date, that communicates you are weak and not confident, which turned her off. Sex is very important as it is the catalyst in bonding the two souls and bodies. You have only yourself to blame, OP. Better not repeat the same mistake in your next relationships.
Author Benrec Posted January 25, 2019 Author Posted January 25, 2019 Shes been talking relationship stuff so I dont its sex based. Yes we went out the first date. Second date at her place, had sex. Day after she askes if I could come over with anti-pregnancy pill cause she was not on anything and I didnt wear condom. We hung out 3-4 hours talking, joking, making out etc. Then I left to go home. She has been kinda distant after this, but idunno
Tamfana Posted January 25, 2019 Posted January 25, 2019 (edited) What did you do on the first date, when you went out? Edited January 25, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Redact quote of prior post
Wallysbears Posted January 25, 2019 Posted January 25, 2019 x. Day after she askes if I could come over with anti-pregnancy pill cause she was not on anything and I didnt wear condom. We hung out 3-4 hours talking, joking, making out etc. Then I left to go home. She has been kinda distant after this, but idunno Do you really not understand why she might be distant after she taking the morning after pill from unprotected sex from a guy that actually took her out on one actual, real date?
Author Benrec Posted January 25, 2019 Author Posted January 25, 2019 We went bowling and ate after. Ait. Maybe I have f-up somewhere along the way. I just feeling ****ty tonight, and I wont be posting more, cause I just feel more ****ty the more answer. This is really not helping me getting in a better mood. But just so its said we have had real fun everytime we been together. Chemistry seemed right.. But well, I dont feel like talking about this more today. I will just wait and see if I hear from her. If she reaches out -great. If not I will call her late next week to ask her out and play by ear.
d0nnivain Posted January 25, 2019 Posted January 25, 2019 I think part of this is your expectations are out of whack. You are too emotionally invested in this for such a short time knowing each other. Plus you both make lousy decisions -- unprotected sex, really? bad move. Just keep talking to her & go on more dates but dial your emotions back. This is somebody you are just getting to know. Even though you have been intimate, she is still more a stranger then a long term GF. While there may be potential, slow down
Versacehottie Posted January 25, 2019 Posted January 25, 2019 make up some story to get out of the club night. it will be a very bad venue to meet a girl for the first time. This^^^^ Why stack the deck against you??? It be a bad scene for even most people that are GOOD at dating. Too many uncontrollable variables and things not in your favor. Set a date with her for the next day or as soon as possible so it doesn't look like you are trying to get out of meeting her.
Grey40 Posted January 25, 2019 Posted January 25, 2019 We went bowling and ate after. Ait. Maybe I have f-up somewhere along the way. I just feeling ****ty tonight, and I wont be posting more, cause I just feel more ****ty the more answer. This is really not helping me getting in a better mood. But just so its said we have had real fun everytime we been together. Chemistry seemed right.. But well, I dont feel like talking about this more today. I will just wait and see if I hear from her. If she reaches out -great. If not I will call her late next week to ask her out and play by ear. Need to not give a **** about this stuff. I used to be like you and it’s a waste of time. IF she doesn’t want to come over and hook up, find someone who will. I would give her the benefit of the doubt and ask her out one more time, another excuse and you move on and let her come to you. If you like the pace you were moving at, don’t change thinking you’re doing something wrong. This girl doesn’t like or can’t handle the fast pace you are giving off. There are people who will be fine with it
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