BeeT Posted January 25, 2019 Posted January 25, 2019 I met a guy at a party on Friday. There was considerable chemistry and we got on well and even shared a drunk makeout that was pretty hot. We made plans to meet on Sunday and went on a date last night. I had a lot of fun on it and (I think) so did he. The conversation was really natural and both of us laughed genuinely a lot. Having just got out of a long term relationship, I'm not looking for anything serious and I was pretty sure he was on the same page since he is moving abroad in about 6 months. We went to walk home together but at the last minute he said he wasn't really feeling going upstairs together, but that he had a great time and would see me around. It was pretty awkward, we just had an awkward half hug and didn't even kiss. I left feeling disappointed and pretty silly, and assumed that he maybe just wasn't that attracted to me or as into it as I was. However we have a mutual friend who talked to both of us after. She assured me that he'd told her he was into me, but simply felt conflicted about having casual sex, which was fair enough. I said I'd happily accept a second date from him and be willing to take things slow just because I did genuinely have a really good time with him and we had a good laugh and seemed to really have a lot in common. She may or may not have told him this and assured me that he'd text me in the today (it's early morning now) and let me know where he wanted to go from here. Basically just seeking advice. What should I do and where should I go from here? I feel totally embarrassed about how the date ended, but on the one hand also kinda glad because I was a bit drunk and maybe sex wouldn't have been a good idea. I would like to see him again. On the other I'm worried he just might not be into me. What do you think? I was thinking if he doesn't reach out by Sunday I'd send him a follow up text saying thank you and that I had fun (if I still care by Sunday that is)? Thanks for reading!
Grey40 Posted January 25, 2019 Posted January 25, 2019 (edited) I met a guy at a party on Friday. There was considerable chemistry and we got on well and even shared a drunk makeout that was pretty hot. We made plans to meet on Sunday and went on a date last night. I had a lot of fun on it and (I think) so did he. The conversation was really natural and both of us laughed genuinely a lot. Having just got out of a long term relationship, I'm not looking for anything serious and I was pretty sure he was on the same page since he is moving abroad in about 6 months. We went to walk home together but at the last minute he said he wasn't really feeling going upstairs together, but that he had a great time and would see me around. It was pretty awkward, we just had an awkward half hug and didn't even kiss. I left feeling disappointed and pretty silly, and assumed that he maybe just wasn't that attracted to me or as into it as I was. However we have a mutual friend who talked to both of us after. She assured me that he'd told her he was into me, but simply felt conflicted about having casual sex, which was fair enough. I said I'd happily accept a second date from him and be willing to take things slow just because I did genuinely have a really good time with him and we had a good laugh and seemed to really have a lot in common. She may or may not have told him this and assured me that he'd text me in the today (it's early morning now) and let me know where he wanted to go from here. Basically just seeking advice. What should I do and where should I go from here? I feel totally embarrassed about how the date ended, but on the one hand also kinda glad because I was a bit drunk and maybe sex wouldn't have been a good idea. I would like to see him again. On the other I'm worried he just might not be into me. What do you think? I was thinking if he doesn't reach out by Sunday I'd send him a follow up text saying thank you and that I had fun (if I still care by Sunday that is)? Thanks for reading! I’d do exactly what you plan to do, if you don’t hear from him send him a follow up text. Too tough to tell right now. As a guy though, I find it hard to believe that any dude who’s attracted to a women who’s willing to have casual sex would turn down that opportunity. That’s insane. It’s possible he was very drunk the first time you guys met and when he met you again in person sober he wasn’t nearly as attracted. He either isn’t feeling it or he felt really tired that night or didn’t shower down there or something and didn’t want to ruin the experience and rather wait for it to be better. Once again though, If he knew you guys were hanging on Sunday and was into it, he would have planned for everything to go smooth—would have showered, would have got his place clean etc. at least I would. So I hate to be negative but I think he wasn’t into you like he originally was when he was drunk. Def send a follow up text though because I’m obviously just guessing. Edited January 25, 2019 by Grey40
d0nnivain Posted January 25, 2019 Posted January 25, 2019 He may be concerned about starting something sexual since he's leaving. If you had fun go on another date but don't pressure him for sex.
stillafool Posted January 25, 2019 Posted January 25, 2019 Why would you feel awkward about him not wanting to come up and have sex with you so soon? Most women would view that as a sign of respect. The majority of women come here and complain that they had sex with the guy on the first meet up and then he backs off. They complain that they were used so I would think you'd be impressed.
Kelliousme Posted January 25, 2019 Posted January 25, 2019 Why would you feel awkward about him not wanting to come up and have sex with you so soon? Most women would view that as a sign of respect. The majority of women come here and complain that they had sex with the guy on the first meet up and then he backs off. They complain that they were used so I would think you'd be impressed. ^Agreed.There is no reason to feel embarrassed about how the date ended. I give this guy props for not having sex with you on the first date. MANY women would prefer that. So what exactly do you want out of this? You said you don't want anything serious, so you just want casual sex with a guy you have romantic feelings for? Because if that's what you want.. then you just have to move on and find another guy who wants to have casual sex with no strings attached. But it sounds to me you're really interested in this guy.. quite contradicting. Does he know you're not looking for anything serious? Since he's the type who doesn't do "casual dating" you have to make sure he knows that you're not looking for a relationship. :/
smackie9 Posted January 25, 2019 Posted January 25, 2019 He felt awkward because it was leading to sex. No big deal. Just tell him you really enjoy his company and would like to hang out again...keep it simple, and maybe not be pawing all over him in a drunken state. 2
Author BeeT Posted January 25, 2019 Author Posted January 25, 2019 Thanks for the advice guys. He sent me a message this evening just saying that he had had a nice time, but wasn't looking for anything at all right now, serious or casual and wanted to be honest with me. Although it sucks a little, I feel with mine and his situation right now it was almost inevitable- or maybe he just wasn't that into me in the first place! Nonetheless I'm so glad he was obviously decent enough to be honest with me. Onwards and upwards!! 3
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