Nadya_T Posted January 24, 2019 Posted January 24, 2019 I'm in a new relationship with an American guy. My boyfriend says that I can not meet my male friends without him. It influence on his image and reputation (if somebody will see you with another man?-he askes) . And he says that it's a common style of behavior in USA. I'm not from the US and can not understand why the opinion of others people is higher than the trust towards one another. I really need your help to clarify the US traditions!
amaysngrace Posted January 24, 2019 Posted January 24, 2019 That’s not an American tradition, that’s a controlling jealous boyfriend tradition. 10
Rayce Posted January 24, 2019 Posted January 24, 2019 That’s not an American tradition, that’s a controlling jealous boyfriend tradition. We call it a Red Flag 4
Garcon1986 Posted January 25, 2019 Posted January 25, 2019 That's a problematic boyfriend in the Chinese, American, Canadian, French, Spanish, and British cultures. He's a problem. 3
RecentChange Posted January 25, 2019 Posted January 25, 2019 Nope, not normal, not an American custom. He’s lying to you to control you. I wonder what else he lies to you about. 2
Versacehottie Posted January 25, 2019 Posted January 25, 2019 Maybe in some subsets of people here in US but as a generalization, that's not an American custom at all. In fact, i would say we are the opposite of that. I don't know ANY american girls that are my friends that would accept that rule. I think all my guy friends would be laughed off hysterically if they demanded this of their girlfriends or be broken up with or they wouldn't bother to ask because that is really NOT the culture here. If your guy is gonna be possessive and controlling could he at least attribute it to himself rather than a whole nation/culture of people. Call it like it is. He's making it up. 2
DKT3 Posted January 25, 2019 Posted January 25, 2019 I think without circumstantial information it's hard to say. It's not common for people in relationships to "date" other people. I could see him having an issue if you are meeting men in one on one situations in date like environments, dinner, clubs and bars movies and so on. No matter how you are meeting these guys, him forbidding you to meet them is an issue. As others have mentioned its controlling, guys like that dont usually get better, only worse. 2
ShadeOfGreen Posted January 25, 2019 Posted January 25, 2019 I'ts not a tradition in the USA. It's something a guy says when he is insecure, can't envision a female having a non-sexual friendship with a male, and frequently worries any girl will cheat on him. The fact that he said it is a tradition is very concerning. Good for you to question this. 2
Ruby Slippers Posted January 25, 2019 Posted January 25, 2019 I agree it's not cool to hang out with opposite sex friends alone when in a relationship. I wouldn't do it and I wouldn't tolerate it. My man agrees. He can't "forbid" it. He can tell you how he sees it and you can agree or disagree. You need to be on the same page. If you're not, find a middle ground. 1
Author Nadya_T Posted January 25, 2019 Author Posted January 25, 2019 I thank all for detailed answers. Its helped me to clarify and rethink some moments in my relationship 3
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