Ex-Girlfriend Blocked Me

[YamiPenguin]

Hello, everyone. I've been on this site for a few months now, but I finally decided to make an account so that I could post something myself. I apologize in advance for this big and messy wall of text.

 

Before the breakup: We were in a relationship for almost 3 years. We are both in our mid-twenty's, with her being the younger one. I'd like to think that we were very happy together, as we did almost everything and anything together. We even had plans of marrying each other and living under one roof someday. But throughout it, there were also many times where I took advantage of her and did not give her my "undivided attention" (as she called it). However, I felt like this was because I was wrapped up in school and work in order to be successful, in order to prepare for our future together of living under one roof. Was this wrong of me? I would always tell her that as soon as I finished school, I will give her even more love than what I've already been giving her. Apparently, she did not see that this was my true feeling and just repeatedly assume that I did not love her or care for her. And so, after having enough of me, she broke up with me, saying that she wanted "more".

 

During the breakup: After we had broken up, she expressed her feelings of how she wanted to stay in my life and for me in hers. At the time, I did not know that this was a mistake, so I agreed with her. I knew that I had to go into no-contact, but I just had such strong feelings for her. And so, for an embarrassing 9 months after the breakup, we kept in contact with each other. We did a lot of things to together and texted/called each other often. It was almost as if we had not broken up in the first place. Although we made each other really happy, I knew it was wrong. There were even a few times where we should just see where our "friendship" leads us. But, I was impatient (was that bad?). I wanted to show her how much she meant to me and how willing I am to change for her. I did not give her my "undivided attention" back then, so I wanted to show her that I could. I had the mindset that if I could give her my time now, she will somehow get back with me. Whenever she felt close to me, I would "strike the iron while it's hot" and express my feelings to her and how I wanted to reconcile our past relationship. However, whenever I did, she would turn me down. I would make the mistake of begging and pleading. And after having enough, she would get so angry that she would block me off of her phone and all social media. I would let things go and move on. However, after a few days, she would unblock me and then pretend as if nothing happened. This left me confused. And what's even more confusing is that this has been a constant cycle of rinsing and repeating for the entirety of these past 9 months. I will explain this constant cycle again. First, whenever she felt close to me, I would express my feelings to her and how I want to reconcile our past relationship. I'd beg and plead to her. Then, she would get angry and block me. And then finally, she will unblock me after a few days and pretend like nothing happened, continuing to be just "friends" with me.

 

Right now: On New Year's Day, she texted me and wished me a happy new year. She also expressed how sorry she was for acting the way that she's been acting over the past many months. At this point, I felt closer to her than ever. And after learning from my mistakes of begging and pleading, I wanted to show her that I wouldn't push her to do anything anymore. Also... My feelings started to change. I wanted to tell my ex-girlfriend that I no longer wanted to be friends with her anymore and that I did not wanted to be her emotional "crutch" of some sort. She got angry. She said that it was "friends or nothing". And so, obviously being in love with her and wanting her to be happy, I stayed being friends with her even if I didn't want to. However, this all changed a few days ago when my feelings of love started acting up again. And when it did, the same cycle from above showed itself again: I expressed my feelings of love to her, she got angry and rejected me, then she blocked me. However, this time, it's apparently different. Before blocking me, she said that she wants nothing to do with me and that she does not want me to contact her, her family, and her friends ever again. Her last words were literally in all caps "LEAVE ME ALONE". She has me blocked on her phone and all social media. Honestly, I know I can move on, but it hurts to do so when I did not even get to have my final say in the situation before she blocked me from the face of the earth. I am not sure what my question(s) is, but I wish that I could somehow get some closure with her. Maybe even some hope of reconciliation with her in the future. I knew it was my mistake of staying friends with her for 9 months after the breakup. Through our "friendship", I was hoping in my mind that I could show her just how loving I can be and how willing I am to fix all the mistakes in our past relationship. Again, this was a mistake. In the past 9 months alone, I've given her so much of my time, effort, and even money. Did I ruin all chances of getting back with her? Has anyone had their ex block you from the face of the the earth but unblocked you in the future (weeks/months/years)? She loved me, and I loved her. As of right now, it hurts me to think about if she'll ever unblock me and talk to me again...

Edited January 24, 2019 by YamiPenguin

[Sgthaytham]

Hello, everyone. I've been on this site for a few months now, but I finally decided to make an account so that I could post something myself. I apologize in advance for this big and messy wall of text.

 

Before the breakup: We were in a relationship for almost 3 years. We are both in our mid-twenty's, with her being the younger one. I'd like to think that we were very happy together, as we did almost everything and anything together. We even had plans of marrying each other and living under one roof someday. But throughout it, there were also many times where I took advantage of her and did not give her my "undivided attention" (as she called it). However, I felt like this was because I was wrapped up in school and work in order to be successful, in order to prepare for our future together of living under one roof. Was this wrong of me? I would always tell her that as soon as I finished school, I will give her even more love than what I've already been giving her. Apparently, she did not see that this was my true feeling and just repeatedly assume that I did not love her or care for her. And so, after having enough of me, she broke up with me, saying that she wanted "more".

 

During the breakup: After we had broken up, she expressed her feelings of how she wanted to stay in my life and for me in hers. At the time, I did not know that this was a mistake, so I agreed with her. I knew that I had to go into no-contact, but I just had such strong feelings for her. And so, for an embarrassing 9 months after the breakup, we kept in contact with each other. We did a lot of things to together and texted/called each other often. It was almost as if we had not broken up in the first place. Although we made each other really happy, I knew it was wrong. There were even a few times where we should just see where our "friendship" leads us. But, I was impatient (was that bad?). I wanted to show her how much she meant to me and how willing I am to change for her. I did not give her my "undivided attention" back then, so I wanted to show her that I could. I had the mindset that if I could give her my time now, she will somehow get back with me. Whenever she felt close to me, I would "strike the iron while it's hot" and express my feelings to her and how I wanted to reconcile our past relationship. However, whenever I did, she would turn me down. I would make the mistake of begging and pleading. And after having enough, she would get so angry that she would block me off of her phone and all social media. I would let things go and move on. However, after a few days, she would unblock me and then pretend as if nothing happened. This left me confused. And what's even more confusing is that this has been a constant cycle of rinsing and repeating for the entirety of these past 9 months. I will explain this constant cycle again. First, whenever she felt close to me, I would express my feelings to her and how I want to reconcile our past relationship. I'd beg and plead to her. Then, she would get angry and block me. And then finally, she will unblock me after a few days and pretend like nothing happened, continuing to be just "friends" with me.

 

Right now: On New Year's Day, she texted me and wished me a happy new year. She also expressed how sorry she was for acting the way that she's been acting over the past many months. At this point, I felt closer to her than ever. And after learning from my mistakes of begging and pleading, I wanted to show her that I wouldn't push her to do anything anymore. Also... My feelings started to change. I wanted to tell my ex-girlfriend that I no longer wanted to be friends with her anymore and that I did not wanted to be her emotional "crutch" of some sort. She got angry. She said that it was "friends or nothing". And so, obviously being in love with her and wanting her to be happy, I stayed being friends with her even if I didn't want to. However, this all changed a few days ago when my feelings of love started acting up again. And when it did, the same cycle from above showed itself again: I expressed my feelings of love to her, she got angry and rejected me, then she blocked me. However, this time, it's apparently different. Before blocking me, she said that she wants nothing to do with me and that she does not want me to contact her, her family, and her friends ever again. Her last words were literally in all caps "LEAVE ME ALONE". She has me blocked on her phone and all social media. Honestly, I know I can move on, but it hurts to do so when I did not even get to have my final say in the situation before she blocked me from the face of the earth. I am not sure what my question(s) is, but I wish that I could somehow get some closure with her. Maybe even some hope of reconciliation with her in the future. I knew it was my mistake of staying friends with her for 9 months after the breakup. Through our "friendship", I was hoping in my mind that I could show her just how loving I can be and how willing I am to fix all the mistakes in our past relationship. Again, this was a mistake. In the past 9 months alone, I've given her so much of my time, effort, and even money. Did I ruin all chances of getting back with her? Has anyone had their ex block you from the face of the the earth but unblocked you in the future (weeks/months/years)? She loved me, and I loved her. As of right now, it hurts me to think about if she'll ever unblock me and talk to me again...

 

It sounds completely done for.

 

I’d just move on, because the next step, if you keep trying to get in touch with her, will be a restraining order.

[YamiPenguin]

It sounds completely done for.

 

I’d just move on, because the next step, if you keep trying to get in touch with her, will be a restraining order.

 

That'd be terrible. Well... I guess it's a good thing that she has me blocked from the face of the earth, since I really have no way of contacting her anymore. But it still saddens to me to think about how she has to block me from everything. Hell, she even changed the username of some of her platforms. Like... Girl, I'm not going to contact you anymore, so why take that extra step?

 

Anyway, thank you for your comment!

Edited January 24, 2019 by YamiPenguin

[Orokotikki]

Dude, its for the better for you.

Don't be an orbiter and plan b, don't "Stay friends with your ex", just let them go and move on.

 

I know its hard - and straightforward advice makes it sound easy - we know its not easy, but it really is that SIMPLE.

 

You will not find high quality future Mrs. YamiPenguin while on her backburner or in her orbit.

Why? Because quality women wouldn't tolerate that (sure some hot mess will) and will skip you over or dump you once they realize it.

[YamiPenguin]

Dude, its for the better for you.

Don't be an orbiter and plan b, don't "Stay friends with your ex", just let them go and move on.

 

I know its hard - and straightforward advice makes it sound easy - we know its not easy, but it really is that SIMPLE.

 

You will not find high quality future Mrs. YamiPenguin while on her backburner or in her orbit.

Why? Because quality women wouldn't tolerate that (sure some hot mess will) and will skip you over or dump you once they realize it.

 

I guess everything that happened during these past 9 months goes to show how desperate I was and how much I wanted her. Even if I was just a backup plan for whatever she was looking for, I thought that I could bring her back to me by showing how much I love/care for her through our "friendship".

 

I really regret not realizing sooner that I made a big mistake.

Thank you for your comment and putting things into perspective for me!

[gringoloco]

I was in a similar situation to yours after my breakup, for about a month i would say. My ex of 2 yrs broke up with me, then she started trying to reestablish contact progressively. But talking about random stuff like showing me holiday pictures or talking about her cat, who she met, etc... Basically she wasn’t talking about us as a couple. Progressively, she started telling me about her problems once again (she suffers from depression). I was still worried for her and still cared a lot for her, so I tried to help. One day I asked where a picture of her had been taken, cause it wasn’t at her house. Eventually she replied to me but ended up saying I was noisy with my questions while I wasn’t helping her enough with her issues. This pissed me off, so when she tried to talk to me about her meeting with her therapist the next day, I told her she better talk to it to her best friend as I am « too noisy ».

She got upset and this was pretty much the end of our communication.

 

All that to say that yeah, it doesn’t help to stay friends. I will never really know what she really wanted out of of all that, but I suspect she would have used me as someone she could reach out to whenever she felt bad, ultimately to find someone else and stop talking to me like your ex did.

 

It’s all or nothing with these things, either she loves you and wants to be with you, either it’s over.

Edited January 24, 2019 by elpandillero

[YamiPenguin]

I was in a similar situation to yours after my breakup, for about a month i would say. My ex of 2 yrs broke up with me, then she started trying to reestablish contact progressively. But talking about random stuff like showing me holiday pictures or talking about her cat, who she met, etc... Basically she wasn’t talking about us as a couple. Progressively, she started telling me about her problems once again (she suffers from depression). I was still worried for her and still cared a lot for her, so I tried to help. One day I asked where a picture of her had been taken, cause it wasn’t at her house. Eventually she replied to me but ended up saying I was noisy with my questions while I wasn’t helping her enough with her issues. This pissed me off, so when she tried to talk to me about her meeting with her therapist the next day, I told her she better talk to it to her best friend as I am « too noisy ».

She got upset and this was pretty much the end of our communication.

 

All that to say that yeah, it doesn’t help to stay friends. I will never really know what she really wanted out of of all that, but I suspect she would have used me as someone she could reach out to whenever she felt bad, ultimately to find someone else and stop talking to me like your ex did.

 

It’s all or nothing with these things, either she loves you and wants to be with you, either it’s over.

 

It's always comforting to hear about someone being in a similar situation.

From what I've been learning, my ex has only used me as an emotional crutch that she could reach out to whenever she felt like it. She knew that she could still get all the benefits from me without having to be in a romantic relationship with me. Sadly, maybe it was the same for you?

 

Thank you for your comment; I wish you the best!

[d0nnivain]

Alas you didn't recognize one of the oldest white lies in the book for what it was -- a way to soften the blow of the break up. Your EX didn't really want to be friends. When she said she wanted you in her life forever, she simply meant she didn't want drama. It is also tough to wrap your head around the idea of never speaking again. Social media makes all of this that much more complicated because it's such an easy way to stay connected & see into each other lives.

 

When you expressed loving feelings, she knew that she needed a brighter line. Her feelings have diminished over time & now she wants to be free. She has probably also figured out that any new guy in her life won't be tolerant of your presence on her social media. So you had to go.

 

Unfortunately, you are practically starting from square one again in your heeling.

[PRW]

Try this:

 

 

This is all I have right now.

[YamiPenguin]

Alas you didn't recognize one of the oldest white lies in the book for what it was -- a way to soften the blow of the break up. Your EX didn't really want to be friends. When she said she wanted you in her life forever, she simply meant she didn't want drama. It is also tough to wrap your head around the idea of never speaking again. Social media makes all of this that much more complicated because it's such an easy way to stay connected & see into each other lives.

 

When you expressed loving feelings, she knew that she needed a brighter line. Her feelings have diminished over time & now she wants to be free. She has probably also figured out that any new guy in her life won't be tolerant of your presence on her social media. So you had to go.

 

Unfortunately, you are practically starting from square one again in your heeling.

 

It make me sad to read your comment. But the truth hurts, right? And what you just spoke about is the unfortunate truth. What I can learn from this breakup is to never settle as low as being friends with an ex, no matter how much she meant to me. I know my worth, and I shouldn't settle for any less.

 

Thank you for your comment and putting things into perspective for me!

[YamiPenguin]

Try this:

 

 

This is all I have right now.

 

I like Corey Wayne, as I have been watching some of his videos lately. Although the video you linked was quite helpful and informative, it does not really apply to my situation anymore. She apparently has blocked me and "erased" me from the face of the earth, so there is no possible way of contacting her to listen to her and work things out with her (as mentioned in the linked video). However, I will be sure to apply what I've learned in future relationships.

 

Thank you for your comment!

[PRW]

I like Corey Wayne, as I have been watching some of his videos lately. Although the video you linked was quite helpful and informative, it does not really apply to my situation anymore. She apparently has blocked me and "erased" me from the face of the earth, so there is no possible way of contacting her to listen to her and work things out with her (as mentioned in the linked video). However, I will be sure to apply what I've learned in future relationships.

Yea, it is about not making the same mistakes with the next one.