Author mortensorchid Posted January 24, 2019 Author Posted January 24, 2019 (edited) I also do not believe women should chase. It's old fashioned and whatnot, but I have been the pursuer in the past, have watched what happens when other women around me have been the pursuer, and it's all been rather a big disaster for all parties. I promised myself I would never chase again after an instance about 10 years ago now, and I have pretty much stuck to it, be it IRL or OLD. But that's another matter. Not chasing on the part of the woman is a good thing, as it separates the truly interested from the not interested. Some gals I think are just into the thrill of the hunt rather than the acquisition. And in this case, I think he just lost his mojo or he wasn't interested, or whatever else. Whatever the case may be, the ball was in his court, he should have said what a good time or place was for him, and he just never responded. In OLD now, it pretty much works in the swiping left/right for like/dislike (be it Tinder or Match), Bumble it's always the woman who has to say hello first, but others? It's okay to say "Hi how are you" I think. It's what it is. Edited January 24, 2019 by mortensorchid Additional information
chillii Posted January 24, 2019 Posted January 24, 2019 Yeah saying hi is nice even to me ,, very old school in all this stuff, But a hi or warm smile if in rl to told me she at least liked me , in who knows whatever way but she at least did like me in some way so l'd take it from there if l was interested. But being old school l can also read old school women too l actually looked for them so she didn't necessarily have to do anything except maybe some of those girly things old school chicks do haha. Not to say later once we knew each other she wouldn't get pushy , hell yeah you bet later on but that's all cool works different shows she cares and wants this. But there's a difference between that and just not interested if a guy that can read this stuff gets a whiff of she's not interested he's usually just to hell with her then. But you certainly didn't do that you actually asked him so you did more than enough. l think he knew when he answered he probably couldn't make Wednesday but he might try so he left it at that and agreed. ln the end though couldn't so he thought to hell with it , low interest by that stage and let it go or he would've at least called you and changed it or did something.
nospam99 Posted January 25, 2019 Posted January 25, 2019 It's what it is. I suggest that 'what it is' on OLD is that the 'best' men don't have to chase, though they may choose to do so anyway. Like everyone else, they're out there 'on display' and women who contact them first 'go to the head of the line'. So if you're dissatistfied with the 'quality' of the men you meet through OLD, consider that by not making the first move you may very well be eliminating your chance to meet those men. You have to buy a ticket to win the lottery.
bloodreaper Posted January 25, 2019 Posted January 25, 2019 With future guys, i'd recommend you keep the conversation going daily. I remember, before I met my girlfriend, I hated scheduling dates for days and days later, and not hearing anything from them until the day of the date. It just sounds like both sides are playing games of "who's going to text first" which is a very bad way to begin a relationship. 1
Grey40 Posted January 25, 2019 Posted January 25, 2019 He wasn’t interested, there’s no mystery here. That’s all it is. Talk online is cheap, meeting up is what matters, that’s why I never wait more than 6-8 messages back and forth before I ask for a number and ask someone out. **** or get off the pot. It’s easy to be a pen pal, but when push comes to shove nothing forecasts true interest like just making the date happen. If they give any resistance that’s all you need to know. 1
LastStraw Posted January 25, 2019 Posted January 25, 2019 A little update on my blossoming relationship that started on a free dating site 2 months ago: we've had a few breaks and a couple of short breakups, but we're back on now and it's wonderful. He's not perfect, I'm not perfect, and we're trying to find middle ground because we click in so many ways and have an absolute blast doing anything together. I’d proceed very cautiously in a situation like this - breaking it off multiple times in the 1st two months is a sign of extreme incompatibility. Great sex and newness of the start may mask it but IME relationships like this quickly turn into horror stories as they progress. What worked for me when feeling blown off is stepping back. I totally agree if a man wants a relationship to happen, they won’t leave any room for guessing. Also no need to speed up things artificially- fake sense of commitment after short time usually backfires. I much rather prefer relationships that develop organically from friendship but I can see why waiting for the right opportunity is hard ... We’re so terribly conditioned to be ‘proactive’ we just have to try/pretend to try doing something all the time 1
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