BaileyB Posted January 23, 2019 Posted January 23, 2019 Is the sexting so soon not a typical? From what I have experienced so far via Match, she is the only one that has done this, I talked to other women for a week or longer, they never went there and neither did I. Oh goodness, no. Not typical, unless she is a call girl or a catfish. Or, a very isolated and lonely woman with very poor social skills. That’s what we are all trying to tell you.
Author Insoc Posted January 24, 2019 Author Posted January 24, 2019 Oh goodness, no. Not typical, unless she is a call girl or a catfish. Or, a very isolated and lonely woman with very poor social skills. That’s what we are all trying to tell you. That's what I thought, I was dubious of the last one, now I have another. Match brings out all types, I thought the first one was a Call Girl actually, the picture she sent me (Full nude) looked straight out of a menu. Thing is, I pissed her off by telling her she was moving too fast, I went to the city she lived in last week, texted her and told her I was at a bar at a restaurant in an area she knew and lived in, said I'll be there at said time and was there for 3 hours, she never showed up or texted back. I never heard from her period, she hided her profile on Match now, I sent her another text before I left saying, "why are you a no show?" You talked big, now I'm here and nothing"? So if the 1st one was a Call girl, she missed out on some $ that night lol.
I'veseenbetterlol Posted January 24, 2019 Posted January 24, 2019 I'm just uneasy about the sexting so soon, this happened prior with another woman I met via long distance and it didn't end well. I am just not interested in being someone's fantasy or hooking up. You should be uneasy about this behavior unless you want a hook up. Nothing serious ever really comes out if the person is talking about sex this early on. She doesn't sound serious.
ExpatInItaly Posted January 24, 2019 Posted January 24, 2019 OP, it's not necessarily distance that is the problem, in and of itself. It's that you don't have good filters in place and can't seem to identify obvious red-flag behaviour on your own. 1
Happy Lemming Posted January 24, 2019 Posted January 24, 2019 I went to the city she lived in last week... Although things didn't work out, did you get to sight-see at that city?? Did you plan alternate activities so you could enjoy your trip without her??
edgygirl Posted January 24, 2019 Posted January 24, 2019 (edited) Oh please. Get a reality check. Sorry to be so blunt. Total catfish, call girl, or someone in Nigeria trying to get money from you. I have thought about the fact she is so turned on and can't help it Edited January 25, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Fix spacing 1
Author Insoc Posted January 25, 2019 Author Posted January 25, 2019 You should be uneasy about this behavior unless you want a hook up. Nothing serious ever really comes out if the person is talking about sex this early on. She doesn't sound serious. Hooking up wasn't really on my radar and the distance factor isn't like it's down the street. I never 'hooked up" so I don't know how I'd feel about it after the fact, I always been in a relationship with someone regarding the Sex.
Author Insoc Posted January 25, 2019 Author Posted January 25, 2019 OP, it's not necessarily distance that is the problem, in and of itself. It's that you don't have good filters in place and can't seem to identify obvious red-flag behaviour on your own. I agree, I want to think it's real but it's uncommon behavior for a woman, at least withe many I have met on Match, chatted with and never met or met in person on a date.
Author Insoc Posted January 25, 2019 Author Posted January 25, 2019 Although things didn't work out, did you get to sight-see at that city?? Did you plan alternate activities so you could enjoy your trip without her?? I did have plans made and saw plenty so it paid off, thought maybe I'd run into her but it's a big city, you know those Movie moments, where it ends happily lol. Nope not this time, I made the best of it.
ExpatInItaly Posted January 25, 2019 Posted January 25, 2019 I agree, I want to think it's real but it's uncommon behavior for a woman, at least withe many I have met on Match, chatted with and never met or met in person on a date. And we're here to tell you that your hope is more than likely misplaced - again. You have to stop falling for ruses like this. Catfish, scammers and otherwise shady women can smell men like you a mile away. You're the perfect bait because you let your desire and feeling flattered override any common sense. 2
Grey40 Posted January 25, 2019 Posted January 25, 2019 So what happened with this? Did you ask for her social media or try to FaceTime? There are some women online dating who are cool with having casual sex, they are not all catfish, but I would always get their social media accounts and look them up, possibly even talk to them on the phone prior to meeting if I was really doubtful. But I’ve done that numerous times and it’s been fine, just do your due diligence.
Author Insoc Posted January 25, 2019 Author Posted January 25, 2019 And we're here to tell you that your hope is more than likely misplaced - again. You have to stop falling for ruses like this. Catfish, scammers and otherwise shady women can smell men like you a mile away. You're the perfect bait because you let your desire and feeling flattered override any common sense. I know what you are saying, if it sounds too good to be true, then it probably is. I went through some time and expense to prove the first one was likely not, but may have been a real good Catfish, possibly a jealous roommate of the woman she was posing as, that knew a lot about her and had access to her pics, this stuff happens in Lifetime Movies, lol, so I don't rule it out. The 2nd one, flaked out when I asked to Google Hangouts, so there you go. I'm not pursuing anything long distance anymore, just not worth the hassle.
Author Insoc Posted January 25, 2019 Author Posted January 25, 2019 So what happened with this? Did you ask for her social media or try to FaceTime? There are some women online dating who are cool with having casual sex, they are not all catfish, but I would always get their social media accounts and look them up, possibly even talk to them on the phone prior to meeting if I was really doubtful. But I’ve done that numerous times and it’s been fine, just do your due diligence. Requested Google Hangouts video call, she wasn't interested, made some excuses about the way she looked at the time and etc. So I assumed she was a Catfish or someone who has real issues with self-esteem. Then she disappeared, so there you go. The first one I met I think just wanted sex, but she didn't talk about that all the time.
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted January 25, 2019 Posted January 25, 2019 No! The first one WAS NOT REAL! This wasn't some kind of Lifetime movie/Sleepless in Seattle/You've Got Mail kind of fairy tale. There seems to be part of you that refuses to believe that people do this sort of thing all the time to vulnerable men. You were not talking to the face you thought you were. Said another way, the person you were talking to does not have that face or that body. They wanted you to THINK that way for the sole goal of getting money out of you one way or another. This is going to keep happening to you unless you develop a little more discernment. 1
Author Insoc Posted January 25, 2019 Author Posted January 25, 2019 No! The first one WAS NOT REAL! This wasn't some kind of Lifetime movie/Sleepless in Seattle/You've Got Mail kind of fairy tale. There seems to be part of you that refuses to believe that people do this sort of thing all the time to vulnerable men. You were not talking to the face you thought you were. Said another way, the person you were talking to does not have that face or that body. They wanted you to THINK that way for the sole goal of getting money out of you one way or another. This is going to keep happening to you unless you develop a little more discernment. The first one never asked for money, we talked on the phone, the things she told me about her family were all verified, though she never told me her real last name, the background report I pulled verified everything even with the missing blanks, I was able to fill them in. She talked about details of her life when she was younger, where she lived and I was able to see this through the background search, addresses she lived, her family and traced it all through FB, aunts, uncles and etc. She told me about the only LTR she had with a guy, told me his first name only, where he was from, I saw his name on the background report and last name, all the bits and pieces of the puzzle fit, also where he lived and worked. That is, everything she told me aligned for the most part, there were things that were missing which made me dubious. It would take a very good Catfish to be able to know those details, as well I found her entire family on Facebook and her profile as well without knowing their names, just from the background check, I'm thinking she was just someone who was a c**ktease or just liked living in fantasy land on Match. She wanted sex I think and sex only, but also said she wanted a relationship at her age. Not going to argue there wasn't something off, maybe deep rooted issues or social anxiety, some people turn into agoraphobics and want a relationship, but can't break the disorder, go online to live the fantasy. Catfish can only go so far, granted there are so good ones out there, how would one know all these details of someone, unless they knew them very good or were a roommate of them, or maybe it was her Sister who is married but not happy? Hmm?? That is probable too.
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted January 25, 2019 Posted January 25, 2019 Catfish can only go so far, granted there are so good ones out there, how would one know all these details of someone, unless they knew them very good or were a roommate of them, or maybe it was her Sister who is married but not happy? Hmm?? That is probable too. I think you'd be surprised at how easily this can be done. I feel 100% certain I could do it if I wanted to. Even if I"d never met the person whose photos I was using. The only hard part would be the full nude if it was indeed the same face you were corresponding with.
Highndry Posted January 25, 2019 Posted January 25, 2019 No! The first one WAS NOT REAL! This wasn't some kind of Lifetime movie/Sleepless in Seattle/You've Got Mail kind of fairy tale. There seems to be part of you that refuses to believe that people do this sort of thing all the time to vulnerable men. You were not talking to the face you thought you were. Said another way, the person you were talking to does not have that face or that body. They wanted you to THINK that way for the sole goal of getting money out of you one way or another. This is going to keep happening to you unless you develop a little more discernment. Or, it was an extremely obese, homely and lonely woman who knows she can find a sexting partner when she uses the right pics, whereas if she sent pictures of herself she'd have no chance at all. There are A LOT of women who fit that mold. 1
Author Insoc Posted January 25, 2019 Author Posted January 25, 2019 I think you'd be surprised at how easily this can be done. I feel 100% certain I could do it if I wanted to. Even if I"d never met the person whose photos I was using. The only hard part would be the full nude if it was indeed the same face you were corresponding with. I got a full nude from her laying on a bed, but her face was not in the pic, but her long blond hair was, also I recognized birth marks that were on all pics she sent me around her neck. I'm sure it can be done, but to know all the personal details that I verified with the background report and looking at FB, photos she liked and/or commented on all had continuity. I still think she was a c**ktease or just enjoys playing with Men, she also has unstable relationships based on what she told me and from what I could tell she moves around a lot, had some BF's she lived with that didn't last long, also filed for a marriage license in the county she lived in (free public record) to some guy a year or so after she got out of her LTR (8 year) relationship with another guy. The marriage never happened, she never said one thing about it, but it seemed rushed, so maybe she rushes things, that's just her nature, rush into sex, rush into love and rush into failure... 1
Author Insoc Posted January 25, 2019 Author Posted January 25, 2019 Or, it was an extremely obese, homely and lonely woman who knows she can find a sexting partner when she uses the right pics, whereas if she sent pictures of herself she'd have no chance at all. There are A LOT of women who fit that mold. This is possible if said person lives or knows the person they are posing as, roommate, cousin or sibling, got access to the pics from FB or from the person's phone or computer, which is possible but nudes? I dunno, I got several nudes that were taken with a phone, and they matched the said woman.
elaine567 Posted January 25, 2019 Posted January 25, 2019 Some people play about on dating apps like it is some sort of a game. Validation aplenty. No intention of meeting up or actually dating. They love the attention and the fantasy aspect and the power too. Some are already attached/married and it is just a bit of fun, something to pass the time...
preraph Posted January 25, 2019 Posted January 25, 2019 It's a red flag. Usually when women are sexually aggressive like that over the internet, they're either sex workers or not women or married and bored.
Author Insoc Posted January 25, 2019 Author Posted January 25, 2019 Some people play about on dating apps like it is some sort of a game. Validation aplenty. No intention of meeting up or actually dating. They love the attention and the fantasy aspect and the power too. Some are already attached/married and it is just a bit of fun, something to pass the time... This is highly probable, because the 1st one wouldn't ever call me from home, only when she was out, I sorta figured a BF or Husband was in the picture, but she would text me from home and also was on Match all day long late until the night, possibly on the phone using discretion to not get caught, but that seems quite hard unless the relationship is not going good and they are not spending much time together or not sleeping in the same bed.
Author Insoc Posted January 25, 2019 Author Posted January 25, 2019 It's a red flag. Usually when women are sexually aggressive like that over the internet, they're either sex workers or not women or married and bored. Bored is highly probably giving this person supposedly lived alone and in a an area where the weather wasn't really great this time of the year for outdoor activities.
Highroller107 Posted January 25, 2019 Posted January 25, 2019 Looks like a big red flag! I would only sext after I met the guy and had sex with him, not with a stranger online
mortensorchid Posted January 26, 2019 Posted January 26, 2019 Sounds like a catfish situation to me. Ask to do a video chat so that she can "show her goodies" if she is so stoked about it. If she says no you have your answer.
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