Insoc Posted January 23, 2019 Posted January 23, 2019 So I met someone else, long distance, super attractive and talked on the phone a few times, she seems authentic and is intelligent, but she jumped into Sexting 2 days after meeting (she initiated it), also she came on to me via Match, I just sent her a message after she viewed my profile, saying "nice pics and profile, I'm far from your location" she responded back and is very aggressive. Not the norm to have woman like this chasing me, at least from my few months on Match, I find many to be the opposite. Also having them jump into sexting so soon, is that a big red flag? I think she is authentic, but I am not sure could be another Catfish for all I know. I have not mentioned face timing yet, but she sends me selfies which appear to be real time. I'm just uneasy about the sexting so soon, this happened prior with another woman I met via long distance and it didn't end well. I am just not interested in being someone's fantasy or hooking up. So is this just the new rage or a big red flag? So soon? I'm thinking all she wants is one thing or maybe it's all just entertainment. We do talk about other things, our lives but often via texting she get's into this sexting thing and keeps pushing for more.
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted January 23, 2019 Posted January 23, 2019 Ask her to video chat and see if she sends you a link that makes you pay to use it. There will be your answer. 1
Author Insoc Posted January 23, 2019 Author Posted January 23, 2019 Ask her to video chat and see if she sends you a link that makes you pay to use it. There will be your answer. I know she is using an iPhone was hoping for Face time, but I haven't yet brought it up. I thought sexting so soon was a bit premature, but maybe I have been out of the dating thing too long and am behind the times? Just doesn't seem normal, considering the dates I been on local or other people I met with and chatted did not go there after 2 days.
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted January 23, 2019 Posted January 23, 2019 I know she is using an iPhone was hoping for Face time, but I haven't yet brought it up. I thought sexting so soon was a bit premature, but maybe I have been out of the dating thing too long and am behind the times? Just doesn't seem normal, considering the dates I been on local or other people I met with and chatted did not go there after 2 days. Sexting isn't premature if she's a working girl.
PRW Posted January 23, 2019 Posted January 23, 2019 Maybe she is really a big ugly guy in Nigeria using pics of a model he found by googling. Send her money for a plane ticket to come see you (no, don't do that) 2
Author Insoc Posted January 23, 2019 Author Posted January 23, 2019 Sexting isn't premature if she's a working girl. Might be? She hasn't given me the impression she is a "working girl", but I could be fooled.
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted January 23, 2019 Posted January 23, 2019 Might be? She hasn't given me the impression she is a "working girl", but I could be fooled. Their job is to fool you. They know you're really hoping against it! 1
Author Insoc Posted January 23, 2019 Author Posted January 23, 2019 Maybe she is really a big ugly guy in Nigeria using pics of a model he found by googling. Send her money for a plane ticket to come see you (no, don't do that) I searched the pics, nothing came up. Also the live selfies look authentic, but some catfish are very good at the art of deception, talking to her on the phone she doesn't ever talk dirty only via text.
BaileyB Posted January 23, 2019 Posted January 23, 2019 In no way and I sexting with someone I have never met who lives a long way away... not unless, as the others say, it is a webcam and I’ve agrees to accept the charges... (But not even then). Huge red flag. HUGE. 3
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted January 23, 2019 Posted January 23, 2019 I searched the pics, nothing came up. Also the live selfies look authentic, but some catfish are very good at the art of deception, talking to her on the phone she doesn't ever talk dirty only via text. What do you mean by "live text?"
Author Insoc Posted January 23, 2019 Author Posted January 23, 2019 Their job is to fool you. They know you're really hoping against it! I know, some are quite good at it, if I feel she is authentic though is the sexting so soon not a typical? From what I have experienced so far via Match, she is the only one that has done this, I talked to other women for a week or longer, they never went there and neither did I, thought I needed a little more time.
Wallysbears Posted January 23, 2019 Posted January 23, 2019 I find this trashy. I have no input on the catfish, etc. angle...but just yuck. 2
Author Insoc Posted January 23, 2019 Author Posted January 23, 2019 I find this trashy. I have no input on the catfish, etc. angle...but just yuck. I keep telling myself that, I know fantasies are common online and long distance, you can play pretend quite easily. I'm just finding it to be unusual so soon, which is throwing red flags in my head.
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted January 23, 2019 Posted January 23, 2019 if I feel she is authentic though is the sexting so soon not a typical? It is not typical, or admirable, but it seems like you really want permission to A. Believe she's authentic, and B. So hot for you she can't help herself from sexting, so C. It's perfectly fine. It's highly unlikely, but I suppose possible. Ask her to take a pic with Today's paper or recording a phrase you tell her and see what happens. Or just video chat like I said.
Author Insoc Posted January 23, 2019 Author Posted January 23, 2019 It is not typical, or admirable, but it seems like you really want permission to A. Believe she's authentic, and B. So hot for you she can't help herself from sexting, so C. It's perfectly fine. It's highly unlikely, but I suppose possible. Ask her to take a pic with Today's paper or recording a phrase you tell her and see what happens. Or just video chat like I said. Thanks, I didn't think it was typical or common. I just wanted some experiences of others, I know it happens but often it's just a fantasy for someone or both, not real. I'm not looking to play games, so I have to let her know this, I have mentioned I'm not looking for a hook-up, I want something LTR she says the same thing, but that might be just a ploy to keep me going. I have thought about the fact she is so turned on and can't help it, but I find women in general on Match that I meet to be more in control and not so fast, they may say things but nothing dirty or cross that sexual threshold, I just don't want to get my expectations up and find out she is only interested in one thing, Sex which is fine and dandy, but I'm not looking for a hook-up.
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted January 23, 2019 Posted January 23, 2019 I just don't want to get my expectations up and find out she is only interested in one thing, Sex. I kindof feel like I am talking to my 77 year old mother here.....trying to get her to understand how these young handsome men messaging her on Facebook or through Words With Friends, or even on her "Our Time" dating app ARE NOT REAL. She has no concept of that. She only can conceptualize that it is actually a real person, who they say they are, but have different motivations and end goals as her, or are criminals. But she still thinks it is their picture and name. You do understand how easy it is to create a whole persona using someone else's photographs, right? (My mom doesn't!) 1
Highndry Posted January 23, 2019 Posted January 23, 2019 (edited) Major red flag. I'm not quite your age but getting there, and I've met all kinds of women in my lifetime. These are the lowest quality you can find. That's assuming she's even legit, which is highly questionable. Online or text = fantasy. PS - I am not saying that women who sext are low quality by any means. But a quality woman will have to build up to that as you earn her trust and she yours. Skipping all of that = risky behavior on the part of a woman, which is not an attractive quality. PPS - "I'm far from your location" = safe distance to engage in fantasy with less chance she will be forced to see you because of said distance. Edited January 23, 2019 by Highndry 1
ExpatInItaly Posted January 23, 2019 Posted January 23, 2019 OP, you just went through something similar with a woman was over-the-top before meeting you - and then she wound up completely blanking you when you were actually in her city and could meet. Use the lesson you hopefully learned from that experience and apply it here. You cannot take a stranger seriously when they're attempting to engage you in this sort of behaviour.
Author Insoc Posted January 23, 2019 Author Posted January 23, 2019 I kindof feel like I am talking to my 77 year old mother here.....trying to get her to understand how these young handsome men messaging her on Facebook or through Words With Friends, or even on her "Our Time" dating app ARE NOT REAL. She has no concept of that. She only can conceptualize that it is actually a real person, who they say they are, but have different motivations and end goals as her, or are criminals. But she still thinks it is their picture and name. You do understand how easy it is to create a whole persona using someone else's photographs, right? (My mom doesn't!) Haha, I'm not that bad come on! I'm just looking for opinions, I know about the "real" stuff, just seeing if anyone ever had any legitimate people do this to them and find out later they were 100% real. The only way to prove it would be face time or google hangouts video chat or etc. So far I think she is "real", just need that to confirm, no go then I'm cutting it off lol.
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted January 23, 2019 Posted January 23, 2019 OK, hope I didn't offend you, haha! Wishful thinking, I think, but please update us when you find out for sure!
Author Insoc Posted January 23, 2019 Author Posted January 23, 2019 Major red flag. I'm not quite your age but getting there, and I've met all kinds of women in my lifetime. These are the lowest quality you can find. That's assuming she's even legit, which is highly questionable. Online or text = fantasy. PS - I am not saying that women who sext are low quality by any means. But a quality woman will have to build up to that as you earn her trust and she yours. Skipping all of that = risky behavior on the part of a woman, which is not an attractive quality. PPS - "I'm far from your location" = safe distance to engage in fantasy with less chance she will be forced to see you because of said distance. I had another one prior, went through a lot of trouble to verify, background report and etc, she was legit it appeared, but there was a part of me that thought maybe a friend was using this woman's stolen identity and pics, maybe a jealous room mate? Never know this stuff happens. Pics are easily accessed if you are savvy enough to get access to them then you can pose as the said person if you know enough about them.
Author Insoc Posted January 23, 2019 Author Posted January 23, 2019 OP, you just went through something similar with a woman was over-the-top before meeting you - and then she wound up completely blanking you when you were actually in her city and could meet. Use the lesson you hopefully learned from that experience and apply it here. You cannot take a stranger seriously when they're attempting to engage you in this sort of behaviour. Yes I did, this is a new one that came on recently via Match, it's not the same person, different location and different voice. I know people use Burner apps though to pick numbers anywhere so they can say they are from somewhere when they are not. Another Catfish tactic. I'm getting cold feet for LDR's!
Author Insoc Posted January 23, 2019 Author Posted January 23, 2019 OK, hope I didn't offend you, haha! Wishful thinking, I think, but please update us when you find out for sure! No, not at all, sometimes I feel I get too paranoid as my defense mechanisms or suspensions kick in, I know there are real people out there, just found the sexting to be abnormal, same for the last one I met. She did the same thing.
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted January 23, 2019 Posted January 23, 2019 I had another one prior, went through a lot of trouble to verify, background report and etc, she was legit it appeared, but there was a part of me that thought maybe a friend was using this woman's stolen identity and pics, maybe a jealous room mate? Never know this stuff happens. Pics are easily accessed if you are savvy enough to get access to them then you can pose as the said person if you know enough about them. Do yourself a favor and have a little marathon viewing of the MTV show "Catfish."
Author Insoc Posted January 23, 2019 Author Posted January 23, 2019 Do yourself a favor and have a little marathon viewing of the MTV show "Catfish." I watched it, I get some of that being the case, for females they can talk on the phone but never show their face live and when they run out of fake pics they disappear. I mean if someone ask you for a live selfie or live face time, you don't give it, that's pretty much it. The last one I met, I never even thought to ask it. Now I know I should have! Some people are uncomfortable with face time or google hangouts no matter what, even if they are legit reason I prefer to meet people local face to face, this LDR stuff too much, and I get a lot of obvious fakes, the last one I'm almost sure was real, this one not so much, but I have been duped before.
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