Tough situation, I walked away because I didn't like her new terms.Questioning things

[MrLewis]

-Can tell you from personal experience that keeping a profile hidden is the equivalent of going "let's try this with 1 foot in the door" so you, if not both of you, killed it from the start.

-Offering your own meds to someone can be scary for them, rather offer to take them to a doctor or give them lots of orange juice

Seems it's over though so yeah move on man, there is someone out there that would appreciate what you would do for them a lot more.

 

just my opinion.

 

Hidden as I hid the profile and deleted the app from my phone. I didn't check again until this crap happened. She was always active, but said she didn't log on or chat with anyone. She did show me her phone on this to prove the app was not only uninstalled, but she reinstalled it (I didn't ask her to), and showed no contacts. However, she had a lot of texts, 20+, not sure if they were men or not, but she has a lot of orbiters and they've said in the past they wanted to get with her.

 

I never offered my meds to her. I offered her a sealed box of Cold-EEZE (Cold-EEZE - Cold-EEZE) cough drops. You buy them at Walgreens or CVS.

[Orokotikki]

However, she had a lot of texts, 20+, not sure if they were men or not, but she has a lot of orbiters and they've said in the past they wanted to get with her.

 

Of course they were men, and she wanted you to see this to think you were getting a good deal for all the $$$ she kept wanting you to fork out.

[elaine567]

"we are from two different worlds."

Just about sums it up.

[MrLewis]

Of course they were men, and she wanted you to see this to think you were getting a good deal for all the $$$ she kept wanting you to fork out.

 

Never really spend much on her. The first few months, again, no issues. Things only started to turn after Thanksgiving.

[MrLewis]

Just about sums it up.

 

No doubt. Reality and alternative reality. Kinda like a parallel universe.

[preraph]

Listen, whatever the rest of the issues, for sure she wanted to use you for money. That is not normal from someone you're just dating. It's really only normal maybe in marriage. You don't support someone you're just dating.

Edited January 25, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[salparadise]

What does BSC Mean?

 

It's a technical term. Bat Sh*t Crazy.

 

Why would any man willingly submit to such antics? Because these high maintenance women are hot To be fair, they probably put a lot of time and effort into maintaining their looks.

No, she didn't put a lot of time and effort on her looks. She didn't need to wear makeup and wore normal clothes. She was one of those women...

 

 

I'm not religious, but I've always liked the verse that says, "And again I say unto you, It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God."

 

Ultra-hotties are just the female counterpart to the rich man. They're used to the world beating a path to their door, and they feel entitled to pretty much anything they can imagine. When this has been their experience their whole life, it's damn hard to not believe in entitlement. It's the female version of Matt Later or Harvey Weinstein. That's the gist of the verse.

 

Now, before any self-proclaimed ultra-hotties start screaming foul, I will say that it does not necessarily include every single one, but most (I'm sure you are the exception). As in similar to the number of camels that can walk through the eye of a needle. It's more about believing they're hot than actually being hot, though. So it also applies to some who simply have an unrealistic assessment of their net worth in this regard, yet still have the entitlement.

 

I dated one [briefly]several years ago who literally wanted to go driving around to point out the kind of houses that she expected a man to provide for her. She knew she was a narc, and once said that a therapist told her she was. She's still single btw. It's actually kind of sad, because she's just another wounded soul trying to make her way in the world, but far enough off that there are no takers.

 

It's a familiar pattern. Men should insist on reciprocity from beginning. We deserve a lot more than access to an ungrateful vagina.

[MrLewis]

Listen, whatever the rest of the issues, for sure she wanted to use you for money. That is not normal from someone you're just dating. It's really only normal maybe in marriage. You don't support someone you're just dating.

 

Makes some valid points. I know a man and woman cannot be equal, but they can be complementary to each others lives. I know how I was to her, but aside from sex, I do not know how she was to me. Sex is important, but I actually desire more at this point of my life. Again, I didn't ask for exclusivity, she did. I just went with it because it seemed like a good shot. I stopped talking to others and focused on her. That was my mistake.

[MrLewis]

It's a technical term. Bat Sh*t Crazy.

I'm not religious, but I've always liked the verse that says, "And again I say unto you, It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God."<snip>

It's a familiar pattern. Men should insist on reciprocity from beginning. We deserve a lot more than access to an ungrateful vagina.

 

I get what you are saying. She would often drop hints early on about marriage and such. I just told her you're getting a bit ahead of yourself here.. She also stated that her sisters got remarried and stay at home too. One sister, she said, told her husband that she wanted a bigger house, so he bought it. I was a bit taken back. Who knows if that is true or not. It is what it is.

Edited January 25, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Truncate quote

[JuneL]

@salparadise: “It's more about believing they're hot than actually being hot, though.” This is very true! Actually the high maintenance women normally put a lot of effort into maintaining their looks, from my own observations; they’re often not those with natural beauty actually.

[elaine567]

The woman as soon as she realised you were not "good enough" to be relationship material for her, wanted to put you into the FWB, friend, hanging out together box so she was free to date someone more suitable.

We can speculate all night as to whether her aspirations are realistic or not, but as she believes she can do better, then she may be right.

Sometimes people who brazenly ask for the earth from others just get it, in spades, whilst those of a more modest persuasion ask for nothing and get exactly - nothing...

[MrLewis]

The woman as soon as she realised you were not "good enough" to be relationship material for her, wanted to put you into the FWB, friend, hanging out together box so she was free to date someone more suitable.

We can speculate all night as to whether her aspirations are realistic or not, but as she believes she can do better, then she may be right.

Sometimes people who brazenly ask for the earth from others just get it, in spades, whilst those of a more modest persuasion ask for nothing and get exactly - nothing...

 

Perhaps. She stated in her message: I am looking for man who would allow me not to work after we get married; should I choose. I feel that you would want me to work during marriage instead of stay home take take care of the home.

 

Whether that is true or not, I do not no. I'm not perfect, that is for sure. I did say in the texts several times, okay, no problem, take care. And she kept on responding on asking why we can't be casual and still hang out. Then should she contact me again or not. I declined both. So, that's that.

[salparadise]

Makes some valid points. I know a man and woman cannot be equal, but they can be complementary to each others lives. I know how I was to her, but aside from sex, I do not know how she was to me. Sex is important, but I actually desire more at this point of my life. Again, I didn't ask for exclusivity, she did. I just went with it because it seemed like a good shot. I stopped talking to others and focused on her. That was my mistake.

 

Well, your only mistake was not recognizing the pattern quickly. You did eventually and responded appropriately. You'll not make that mistake again, so it's an important life lesson and growth experience. She, otoh, will not change. Who knows if she'll ever snag anyone with both a fat enough wallet and the propensity to throw his money his money away on such a transparent digger. Not likely, unless she just happens upon someone who came into an inheritance yesterday and can't wait for it to be soon parted. More likely she'll live out her life being resentful that she never got what she deserved.

 

"I know a man and woman cannot be equal, but they can be complementary"

 

Equal doesn't mean identical. I sincerely believe that men and women can be equal, while being different. I won't elaborate as it could be an endless tome... but things are different in the 21st century. Your ex might have just been born 300 years too late.

[preraph]

Makes some valid points. I know a man and woman cannot be equal, but they can be complementary to each others lives. I know how I was to her, but aside from sex, I do not know how she was to me. Sex is important, but I actually desire more at this point of my life. Again, I didn't ask for exclusivity, she did. I just went with it because it seemed like a good shot. I stopped talking to others and focused on her. That was my mistake.

 

I think she may have asked for exclusivity partly to facilitate making you feel like you should support her financially. She does have 4 offspring. She may just be really looking for a man who will carry the financial load.

[Highndry]

Brother, you made the right decision and are so much better off without this gold digger. Any woman who doesn't even visit you in the hospital is a terrible, terrible partner.

 

She's 40, has 4 kids, yet wants to quit working and be a kept woman? GIVE ME A BREAK. If a woman told me that, I'd laugh so hard in her face she'd cry. Seriously, that is hilarious.

 

A man of your age, to be somebody's meal ticket, would realistically want a 28 year old woman with no kids who could grace the cover of a magazine in a bikini, not some 40 year old with 4 kids. This woman is delusional. She needs to start dating 60 year old men to have any change at what she's after.

 

Again, you made the right move, and it's great that you showed healthy boundaries and rebuffed her.

[CollinW]

I really respect you for sticking to your guns. Men with much less self worth, like PRW for example, would be bending over backwards just to be associated with a woman regardless of how she treats them. Men with self esteen don't sell themselves out for the narcissism of women.

[stillafool]

 

A man of your age, to be somebody's meal ticket, would realistically want a 28 year old woman with no kids who could grace the cover of a magazine in a bikini, not some 40 year old with 4 kids. This woman is delusional. She needs to start dating 60 year old men to have any change at what she's after.

 

 

Yeah, and good luck at that as no one is a fool these days.

[ChatroomHero]

Perhaps. She stated in her message: I am looking for man who would allow me not to work after we get married; should I choose. I feel that you would want me to work during marriage instead of stay home take take care of the home.

 

Whether that is true or not, I do not no. I'm not perfect, that is for sure. I did say in the texts several times, okay, no problem, take care. And she kept on responding on asking why we can't be casual and still hang out. Then should she contact me again or not. I declined both. So, that's that.

 

 

 

You handled it perfectly. Frankly, if she kept responding or pushing contact, I would ask what was in it for me? Did she think I was so desperate I would pay to have her in my life? Does she keep a unicorn down her pants?

 

 

I mean she apparently made it this far in life with nobody beating down her door to pay for her not to work and take care of all her needs, I am not sure why she would think that's a good plan.

 

 

You dodged a huge bullet that could have financially impacted you for many years to come by getting rid of her.

[JuneL]

Just curious: Was her ex-husband pretty well-off financially?

[MrLewis]

I think she may have asked for exclusivity partly to facilitate making you feel like you should support her financially. She does have 4 offspring. She may just be really looking for a man who will carry the financial load.

 

Certainly possible.

[MrLewis]

Brother, you made the right decision and are so much better off without this gold digger. Any woman who doesn't even visit you in the hospital is a terrible, terrible partner.

 

She's 40, has 4 kids, yet wants to quit working and be a kept woman? GIVE ME A BREAK. If a woman told me that, I'd laugh so hard in her face she'd cry. Seriously, that is hilarious.

 

A man of your age, to be somebody's meal ticket, would realistically want a 28 year old woman with no kids who could grace the cover of a magazine in a bikini, not some 40 year old with 4 kids. This woman is delusional. She needs to start dating 60 year old men to have any change at what she's after.

 

Again, you made the right move, and it's great that you showed healthy boundaries and rebuffed her.

 

If two people are going to LTR or marriage eventually, and one wants to work to support the spouse and kids, I can understand that. However, her kids are grown and wouldn't be the next guys. What man would support a woman selecting to not work and stay at home doing whatever? I can understand if she was raising each others kids and needs to take care of them, but it was very strange to even get that notion.

[MrLewis]

I really respect you for sticking to your guns. Men with much less self worth, like PRW for example, would be bending over backwards just to be associated with a woman regardless of how she treats them. Men with self esteen don't sell themselves out for the narcissism of women.

 

I may be an understanding and compassionate man, but I am not a doormat. I see little choice for myself. Ultimately, I think I made the best choice for me.

[MrLewis]

You handled it perfectly. Frankly, if she kept responding or pushing contact, I would ask what was in it for me? Did she think I was so desperate I would pay to have her in my life? Does she keep a unicorn down her pants?

 

 

I mean she apparently made it this far in life with nobody beating down her door to pay for her not to work and take care of all her needs, I am not sure why she would think that's a good plan.

 

 

You dodged a huge bullet that could have financially impacted you for many years to come by getting rid of her.

 

 

Doubtful I'd hear back from her again. She's prob. already dating other guys. That's fine. I hope she gets what she wants and I wish her well.

[MrLewis]

Just curious: Was her ex-husband pretty well-off financially?

 

No. She fights him a few times a year for back child support. She's stated he's owed her around 50k or so. Not sure if that is true or not though. The father, she says, has zero contact with any of the kids. Never does anything with them nor speaks to them.

[DKT3]

The woman as soon as she realised you were not "good enough" to be relationship material for her, wanted to put you into the FWB, friend, hanging out together box so she was free to date someone more suitable.

We can speculate all night as to whether her aspirations are realistic or not, but as she believes she can do better, then she may be right.

Sometimes people who brazenly ask for the earth from others just get it, in spades, whilst those of a more modest persuasion ask for nothing and get exactly - nothing...

 

Suitable for her will be difficult to find. This woman sounds horrible, is there any behavior from a female that you find unacceptable?

 

OP any woman who would abandon you in a hospital isnt a good person, I'm trying to understand why you continued after that, that is end game kinda stuff.