Curiousroxy86 Posted January 23, 2019 Posted January 23, 2019 What do YOU do about lies? Your love interest...person your dating that you really like but not in a relationship yet or person you are in a relationship with...lied (or you think they lied) about something small. What is the best way to handle it? What if it's something big? What is the best way to handle it? Do you hold your tongue until you have verifiable evidence? Do you ask them to tell the truth? Do you just breakup because lying itself is a deal breaker for you? What do YOU do? *warning strong overthink ahead* In my opinion it's usually not the fact that they lied. that don't get me. Damn the lie. It's usually what they lied about that I tend to judge. I struggle with the best way to address when I think a boyfriend is lying lol. when my spidey senses tell me a guy is either lying or on some bull I really feel like it's pointless to ask. Because If I feel like your lying about something already and I ask for the truth I just feel like your going to lie some more. Like if a guy im dating before exclusivity say "your the only girl I'm talking to" and I say "tsk stop lying, for real?" What dumba** is going to say "nah girl im talking to five other girls off that app" lmao. So when it comes to men and lies I normally judge what he is lying about and decide if I want to stay or go off that. Like If I think he is talking to other girls before exclusivity despite what he told me well I'm accepting because I multi-date before exclusivity too. Yea he lied about it but what he lied about is minuscule to me. But if we in a relationship and he tell me that the sext message from an Amber was a wrong number text. I am breaking up no questions asked because I don't accept cheating. Damn the fact that he lied I'm focused on what he did that I think he lied about lol. So I'm either two extremes accepting their lie or breaking up (lol) because my focus is on whatever they lie about. So what to do about the lie itself I just don't know lol. The other conundrum is if I THINK they lied. Think means a possibility they might be telling the truth. So say I think my boyfriend is doing dirt and he says he is not yet I think he is lying. Well I don't accept men who do dirt. That's a breakup. But what if I'm wrong? Well if I got this feeling he is doing dirt but I have no proof what do I do? does that mean I should stay until I can confirm those feelings with evidence? So I am curious to know from you guys How do YOU handle it when you THINK someone you like /love/talking to/dating/in a relationship with is lying
manfrombelow2 Posted January 23, 2019 Posted January 23, 2019 What KIND of lies are we discussing here? People lie all the time, over anything, we all do.
Garcon1986 Posted January 23, 2019 Posted January 23, 2019 I don't think its physically possible to ask your partner to give you the total truth about every single thing. In my past relationship, I was accused of texting other women in the bathroom every time I went to the restaurant; I ended up having to use the loo in under 30 seconds to prove I wasn't texting. Please please don't be that paranoid woman. I had deleted all my dating apps and accounts and showed my ex GF to prove it, but she still had doubts. I was made to feel guilty about calling my parents because my GF and my mom's night calls frequently overlapped. So I challenge everybody here to calibrate the truths that you require. Lying, cheating, and stealing, and any version of that stuff, is not OK. You should be OK if your significant other fails to come home with the limes from the grocery store.
loversquarrel Posted January 23, 2019 Posted January 23, 2019 What if you lied? Would you want to be forgiven, or would you expect to be broken up with? What level of lie would you want to be forgiven for? No one is perfect, everyone lies at some point and some lies are obviously worse than others. Personally small lies hurt but are forgivable. Lies involving other people though aren't.
Author Curiousroxy86 Posted January 23, 2019 Author Posted January 23, 2019 What KIND of lies are we discussing here? People lie all the time, over anything, we all do. any what do you do about little lies. what do you do about big lies?
Author Curiousroxy86 Posted January 23, 2019 Author Posted January 23, 2019 Please please don't be that paranoid woman. I had deleted all my dating apps and accounts and showed my ex GF to prove it, but she still had doubts. I was made to feel guilty about calling my parents because my GF and my mom's night calls frequently overlapped. So I challenge everybody here to calibrate the truths that you require. Lying, cheating, and stealing, and any version of that stuff, is not OK. You should be OK if your significant other fails to come home with the limes from the grocery store. lmao@fails to come home with limes I dont think im that bad. if I get suspicious it is normally something that really smells fishy. the thing about it though is sometimes I still may not have exact proof that its true dirt going on but it still doesnt look right. so I struggle with determining what to do when I experience that because again its either im totally accepting it or im breaking up.
Nilfiry Posted January 23, 2019 Posted January 23, 2019 Context matters. Should I be upset if the person that I am dating lied about their measurements? lol
Mr. Lucky Posted January 24, 2019 Posted January 24, 2019 what do you do about little lies Society couldn't function without them. what do you do about big lies? Dealbreakers... Mr. Lucky
BaileyB Posted January 24, 2019 Posted January 24, 2019 Im curious, do you ever tell a little white lie OP?
Author Curiousroxy86 Posted January 24, 2019 Author Posted January 24, 2019 Society couldn't function without them. Dealbreakers... Mr. Lucky Sounds like I'm stuck to sticking to extremes accept and breakup then lol.
Author Curiousroxy86 Posted January 24, 2019 Author Posted January 24, 2019 Im curious, do you ever tell a little white lie OP? Oh of course which again is why I am accepting of some lies. Like if I'm wearing something I like I don't need you to tell me you don't like it. Protect my ego dagnabit lol. My struggle is if the way I tend to handle it is best though. Like I said I'm either accepting lies or breaking up. And for me it's not even because of the lie itself. It's what I think they are lying about that leads me to the decision.
Garcon1986 Posted January 24, 2019 Posted January 24, 2019 Try looking your man in the eye next time and be very direct with your concerns, but also teach him how he may reassure you- and have very open lines of communication. Learn his communication style and love language asap and teach him yours. Write down exactly what your insecurities are and try to resolve them here.
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