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Become official but he takes down all his social media?

Curiousroxy86

By Curiousroxy86
in General Relationship Discussion

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Curiousroxy86 Established Member

Curiousroxy86

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You and the person you are dating becomes official. You are now the girlfriend/boyfriend. Then they tell you they are taking down all their social media. Would you think that it isnt a big deal or would you think this is a total red flag? How would you proceed?

Simple Logic Established Member

Simple Logic

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Maybe you should ask them why they did rather than speculating.

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AriesDude Established Member

AriesDude

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Could be lots of reasons

- An ex made her/his social media life hell by liking everything and commenting too much so preventing future weirdness

- The person wants to hide the new relationship status from family members

- The person is dating multiple people

- The person wants to hide old photos

- or person just tired of looking at memes and quotes and funny videos all day

 

It screams red flag mostly but yea rather ask them why they did it. If your instincts tell you the answer doesnt work for you then listen to it.

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Curiousroxy86 Established Member

Curiousroxy86

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Maybe you should ask them why they did rather than speculating.

 

No one is speculating. I'm asking how would YOU feel and why and what would YOU do

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Curiousroxy86 Established Member

Curiousroxy86

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Maybe you should ask them why they did rather than speculating.

 

I'm guessing you would simply ask and proceed from there based on your comment. Right?

d0nnivain Established Member

d0nnivain

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Wouldn't phase me in the slightest. Social media is trivial.

 

Having read these boards I probably would think the guy was being discrete & respectful knowing he had EXs on there or that he can't control himself from liking every hot picture of women he sees so he's just kicking the habit but really I wouldn't care.

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Eternal Sunshine Established Member

Eternal Sunshine

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Social media behavior is the biggest predictor of someone playing you. This is especially true if you met this guy online. He is probably lying/hiding his age, employment status, marital status or who knows what else. Also check if he really took it down or just blocked you.

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Wallysbears Established Member

Wallysbears

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I'm well past the age of caring about this sort of stuff.

 

Then again, my husband has social media basically for his business and that's it.

smackie9 Established Member

smackie9

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I know a lot of guys who did this.....they are good looking and had lots of dating experience in the past. They were avoiding drama. One I know for sure his GF is insanely jealous. So that's why.

LastStraw Established Member

LastStraw

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How about people that don't have use social media? I never did, never will. My man is exactly the same...

 

Social media behavior is the biggest predictor of someone playing you. This is especially true if you met this guy online. He is probably lying/hiding his age, employment status, marital status or who knows what else. Also check if he really took it down or just blocked you.
PRW Established Member

PRW

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It doesn't mean squat. I've gotten rid of some of mine,...and there isn't any woman involved at all.

Versacehottie Established Member

Versacehottie

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Maybe not a bad thing per se. Just not ready to announce it to the world and all that comes with that. Would rather not have or deal with social media while embarking on a new relationship or have the gf get upset that i wasn't announcing it or showing it off just yet so delete the social media. That's one reason i could think of a guy doing it. Less drama.

 

Sure it could mean that he is trying to hide the relationship from one specific person (like an ex-gf that he still has hopes for or that he doesn't want her to create drama with you). Or maybe like i said just isn't ready to deal with the pressure of others in general knowing.

MissBee Established Member

MissBee

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You and the person you are dating becomes official. You are now the girlfriend/boyfriend. Then they tell you they are taking down all their social media. Would you think that it isnt a big deal or would you think this is a total red flag? How would you proceed?

 

Was this in the same conversation? If it were a conversation where they asked me to be official then said "...and I'm taking down all social media" I'd find that an odd correlation and I'd ask why.

 

If it was not in the same conversation and happened some other day or time, I'd ask why, just because I'd ask anyone why who mentioned this, just out of curiosity, but I wouldn't associate it with anything or think it were a red flag.

 

I also go with how I feel generally, in that it's not just what a person says or does, but also how I feel about it. If something feels off about it, I pay attention. I don't jump to conclusions, I'm just alert because there's no smoke without fire and one red flag usually leads to a trail of others. Communication is also key though and things always go wrong when we do too much speculating and not enough frank talking.

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frus69 Established Member

frus69

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I dont understand what does him taking down his social media have anything to do with you?

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TheFinalWord Established Member

TheFinalWord

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Maybe he just wants to avoid drama.

 

People misinterpret social media likes, photo comments, all the time. Or if you break up and it's all over social media you have to explain the situation to everyone, when it's the last thing you want to do on a break up.

 

To me, getting rid of social media is always a positive. I can't think of any reason why it's a negative. If I were in a serious relationship with someone, I would take it down. It just is one less thing you have to deal with in a relationship. There's already enough stress and work. Why bother dealing with online drama that exists no where but in cyber space?

DrNo1962 Established Member

DrNo1962

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No one is speculating. I'm asking how would YOU feel and why and what would YOU do

 

I could care less about a person updating or not updating their social media profile.

 

Online is a fake world. What matters is what happens in reality.

 

Stop putting any value on Social Media.

preraph Established Member

preraph

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Ask him. I mean, certainly it could be he's hiding something. It seems like if it was all for you, he'd tell you and want you to do the same. Just ask him. You'll find out soon enough if he's hiding you from anyone, especially family. Of course, he can still text whoever he wants.

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Curiousroxy86 Established Member

Curiousroxy86

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I myself don't have much social media outside of Instagram and that's just to showcase a hobby and a dating app because I am single and dating. For the most part I'm a very private person anyway. So if I came across a guy who was the same way already having little to no social media it wouldn't bother me and I can relate. However if I come across a guy that has social media and uses it and I know about it because he mentions it to me then if we became official I am the type of girlfriend who would expect dating profiles to come down and if he has any social media profile that says single I would expect that to change to in a relationship.

 

In this scenario if a guy were to ask me to be his girlfriend then say I'm taking down all my social media. I think something would go off within me to be on alert maybe? I'm sure if I ask why he would say "I don't need social media. It's stupid. I am a private person". Blah blah blah. But then my side eye would emerge and I would think why wait till you get a girlfriend to all the sudden decide the social media you been on is unneeded, stupid, and too public for you?

 

It would be different if he mentioned before exclusivity while talking that he is getting rid of social media. I wouldn't think twice. I would be like I don't blame ya. But you wait till you get in a relationship and your direct action/reaction Is to get rid of social media?

 

im not sure how I personally would/should handle a guy who ask me to be his girlfriend then tell me he is taking his social media down. A part of me would feel like he is hiding something. That would probably tempt me to just rethink entering into the relationship at all. But the act itselfof taking down all social media seem so innocent it would be a shame to breakup with someone over. *shrugs*. Hm for once I don't have a direct answer for what I would do lmao.

frus69 Established Member

frus69

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How long have you been seeing him? I'd think if you are willing to be his GF you should know him enough to trust his intentions.

And if he says "I don't need social media. It's stupid. I am a private person", do you not believe that? Do you not think he's a private person or something?

If you are suspicious and you dont think you can trust his answer, then maybe dont be his GF just yet? Do you reckon if you dont become his GF, he will keep his social media accounts or something?

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Curiousroxy86 Established Member

Curiousroxy86

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This isn't my actual story. Just a scenario. I'm still single and dating. But we can play. Mind you I would expect a man to make me his girlfriend about two max three months. I may be his girlfriend but trust is earned not given. Don't get me wrong I wouldn't expect a boyfriend to be doing dirt. If I felt like a guy is doing dirt I wouldn't become his girlfriend. However When dealing with fallible humans Red flags can happen at anytime from when you get to know someone, when you become his girl, when you become his fiancé, heck when you become his wife you know? So I think if this happened to me where at the point if he asked me to be his girlfriend, I say yes, and then he says he is taking down his social media...the very social media he enjoyed while we were talking and dating prior to exclusivity I think at that moment I would go hmmmmm. Not because something went off while dating. He is my boyfriend because he gave me the sense that he is a good guy worth being exclusive to. That moment of him decided to take down social media as a reaction to being in a relationship is something that would put me on alert so to speak. Hope that makes sense

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manfrombelow2 Established Member

manfrombelow2

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When it comes to what the other person does with his/her social media, you just don't think and don't care about it.

 

And I don't think he does it just because he has something to "hide" (I'm amazed at the level of negativity in some posts here). Think about the time before the Internet, when people had no social media, they'd always find a way to "hide" from you if they want to, despite having Facebook or not.

Mr. Lucky Established Member

Mr. Lucky

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im not sure how I personally would/should handle a guy who ask me to be his girlfriend then tell me he is taking his social media down. A part of me would feel like he is hiding something. That would probably tempt me to just rethink entering into the relationship at all. But the act itselfof taking down all social media seem so innocent it would be a shame to breakup with someone over. *shrugs*. Hm for once I don't have a direct answer for what I would do lmao.

 

I'm old enough to remember when some guys had "little black books" with phone numbers, addresses, etc. When they got serious with someone, the expectation was the book would be tossed and the numbers lost forever.

 

What you're describing is the modern equivalent. It simply means his attention and interest will be reserved for you. Unless you'd prefer he keeps the accounts up and stays current with past hook-ups, GF's and orbiters?

 

Mr. Lucky

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Curiousroxy86 Established Member

Curiousroxy86

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I'm old enough to remember when some guys had "little black books" with phone numbers, addresses, etc. When they got serious with someone, the expectation was the book would be tossed and the numbers lost forever.

 

What you're describing is the modern equivalent. It simply means his attention and interest will be reserved for you. Unless you'd prefer he keeps the accounts up and stays current with past hook-ups, GF's and orbiters?

 

Mr. Lucky

 

That is a very good point and I didn't even think of it that way.

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