SunshineGirl76 Posted January 22, 2019 Posted January 22, 2019 I posted back in December about a guy I dated for two months. He was dating me and someone else at the same time and told me this. Said he was getting to know both of us. In the end, he chose her. I really fell for him and he was a truly nice guy. We did not sleep together. When things ended, we were friendly and talked about getting a drink some time. Fast forward a month a half later. I’ve had no contact with him, but I got an email that a band we both love is coming to town. I decided to send him a text. Really casual. Sent him the link and said “Got this email and excited they’re coming to town! Hope you’re well.” Didn’t have expectations. He responded and said he had not forgotten about getting drinks. He was just busy at work and out of the country on a business trip. He said maybe we could grab a drink this weekend. Well, we ended up meeting last night for a drink. I was hoping he was no longer seeing someone else, but he told me right off the bat that he still was. He said it’s been “difficult” balancing a new relationship and maintaining his independence as it’s been awhile since he’s been in a relationship. He then told me she was on vacation with her friend and she got upset with him that he did not go on vacation with her. Honestly, it didn’t sound like things were that great between them but maybe that’s just my wishful thinking. We had a great time just talking and drinking for three hours. At the end of the night he walks me to my car. I was going to give him a hug but instead he gives me a quick peck on the lips and says “That’s all I can give you, but I know you want more.” WTF? I was surprised by it and what he said so I just blurted out “Why would you even say that?” Then he proceeds to give me a real kiss, then backs away and says “We can’t. This is bad.” And that was the end of the night. He sent me a text when I got home. He said I am such a “catch” and he’s sure I’ll find someone special soon. He said he was sorry about that kiss and didnt want to be the type of person his ex wife was (she cheated on him) by cheating on the woman he’s dating now. And so, maybe I shouldn’t be, but I’m just confused. In my previous post everyone pretty much said he’s just not that into you if he chose someone else over me. And I get it. But now, why did he even bring up meeting up again, then hanging out with me, and then actually kissing me at the end of the night? He obviously knows I still like him. Is he messing with my head? He could have just given me a hug as that was all I was expecting. I know we barely dated but something about this guy really hooked me.
LauraXX Posted January 22, 2019 Posted January 22, 2019 He needed an ego boost and knew that he would get that from you. Meeting you for drinks as soon as his girlfriend is out of town.... ugh. If he was really into you, he would have picked you. And the things he said ("That’s all I can give you, but I know you want more.”) prove that he's very aware of your feelings and just enjoys being adored by you. Btw - you should be glad that you didn't end up in a relationship with him. I'm sure he would have met that other girl for drinks as soon as you turned your back on him. 3
TheFinalWord Posted January 22, 2019 Posted January 22, 2019 You may not get him, but I do. He's got you majorly on the backburner. Do you want to be the back up option for him? I know it hurts, and your ego is bruised, but this guy is a scumbag. He's not a nice guy. He kissed a girl, went out with a girl, while in a relationship with someone else. News flash: HE CHEATED. Please have some self-respect. Never talk to this man again. He's manipulating you and now he's cheated on his girlfriend, which you knew about. Think about the morality this man and also think about if you were the other women he picked and he went on a date with her behind your back and kissed her. Golden rule. 2
sabaton Posted January 22, 2019 Posted January 22, 2019 I posted back in December about a guy I dated for two months. He was dating me and someone else at the same time and told me this. Said he was getting to know both of us. In the end, he chose her. I really fell for him and he was a truly nice guy. We did not sleep together. When things ended, we were friendly and talked about getting a drink some time. Fast forward a month a half later. I’ve had no contact with him, but I got an email that a band we both love is coming to town. I decided to send him a text. Really casual. Sent him the link and said “Got this email and excited they’re coming to town! Hope you’re well.” Didn’t have expectations. He responded and said he had not forgotten about getting drinks. He was just busy at work and out of the country on a business trip. He said maybe we could grab a drink this weekend. Well, we ended up meeting last night for a drink. I was hoping he was no longer seeing someone else, but he told me right off the bat that he still was. He said it’s been “difficult” balancing a new relationship and maintaining his independence as it’s been awhile since he’s been in a relationship. He then told me she was on vacation with her friend and she got upset with him that he did not go on vacation with her. Honestly, it didn’t sound like things were that great between them but maybe that’s just my wishful thinking. We had a great time just talking and drinking for three hours. At the end of the night he walks me to my car. I was going to give him a hug but instead he gives me a quick peck on the lips and says “That’s all I can give you, but I know you want more.” WTF? I was surprised by it and what he said so I just blurted out “Why would you even say that?” Then he proceeds to give me a real kiss, then backs away and says “We can’t. This is bad.” And that was the end of the night. He sent me a text when I got home. He said I am such a “catch” and he’s sure I’ll find someone special soon. He said he was sorry about that kiss and didnt want to be the type of person his ex wife was (she cheated on him) by cheating on the woman he’s dating now. And so, maybe I shouldn’t be, but I’m just confused. In my previous post everyone pretty much said he’s just not that into you if he chose someone else over me. And I get it. But now, why did he even bring up meeting up again, then hanging out with me, and then actually kissing me at the end of the night? He obviously knows I still like him. Is he messing with my head? He could have just given me a hug as that was all I was expecting. I know we barely dated but something about this guy really hooked me. He's most likely interested in another woman who isn't interested in him, and he wants the ego boost of knowing that he can have you if he wants you, after he gets rejected, to sooth his bruised ego. A few months back I was dating 5 women. The one I really wanted was more aesthetic than I, and she wanted a relationship with me. Because she was hotter, she could leverage that into entering a relationship, she wouldn't sleep with me ''so soon, because I'm not like that, I need an emotional connection first''. What I did was, I'd go to the other 4 girls, and I'd either get an ego boost, like getting a boost of energy to go back to pursue the #1 girl, or I'd sleep with those women to quench the thirst. That guy you're talking to is probably doing the same. Dump him and move on to find a different guy that actually wants you, and doesn't see you as a backup for when the women he truly wants are either playing hard to get or outright rejecting him.
Interstellar Posted January 22, 2019 Posted January 22, 2019 (edited) “Honestly, it doesn’t sound like things are great between them but maybe that’s just my wishful thinking.” How do you know? Do you have a camera following them around 24/7? Did you hire the NSA to spy on them around the clock? This is all wishful thinking on your part. You don’t truly know what’s going on, and by the way he’s in a relationship. I know rejection sucks, I know the feeling as a man and billions of men all over have went through what you went through. Getting cheated on is even more terrible, debilitating even so he did the right thing. There’s no confusion. He’s in a relationship and you’re hoping for something more. The kiss is just a kiss and don’t try to make something out of it. Remember he chose her over you. Rejection is a powerful aphrodisiac. Edited January 22, 2019 by Interstellar 1
AriesDude Posted January 22, 2019 Posted January 22, 2019 He just cheated on his girlfriend and pretty much proved he would cheat on you too no matter how many times you ask him "will I be your only girlfriend" if he ever leaves her for you. If you really like him after that....all i can say is good luck because you're in for a future of 50 with 5 kids and divorced.
d0nnivain Posted January 22, 2019 Posted January 22, 2019 He picked her but things aren't as perfect as he thought they'd be. You were an ego boost. He was testing the waters to see if you are a monkey branch option. Are you sure you want that? You've got a glimpse of his (lack of) ethics. If he kissed you when with her, what will he do to you once you get together? 1
smackie9 Posted January 22, 2019 Posted January 22, 2019 This guy is not BF material. I think he's still got an itch that he's still trying to scratch, and won't be so committed with anyone at this time in his life. Don't think for a moment you have him, and you are that special. That's not how it works. He's just a thirsty guy, over stepping his boundaries.
Versacehottie Posted January 22, 2019 Posted January 22, 2019 To me, the clue is that he talked to you about his relationship problems--with the girl he chose over you!!!! Sensitivity chip missing. Anyway, that behavior means he likes you, as a friend first and foremost. Doesn't mean he isn't attracted to you and mind having you on the back burner. I think the thing he is struggling with is the loss of feeling like a guy who has the "independence" to date around and what he imagined that life would be like. Honestly, you sound like a bit of a pawn in his own mind game (no disrespect to you) and mostly an ego boost for him. I wouldn't keep in contact with him anymore. If he fully and totally breaks up with her and has had some time "off" to himself AND does a ton to get back in your good graces, then maybe. Until then don't give him the benefit of YOU. Good luck
PRW Posted January 22, 2019 Posted January 22, 2019 I was hoping he was no longer seeing someone elseRight, and it would have been written all over you. “That’s all I can give you, but I know you want more.” WTF? I was surprised by itWhy? Nothing to be surprised about. You wanted more, even said you wanted more. Maybe you are just upset for being called on it. The guy backed away and got out of there which shows he does have a reasonable amount of loyalty to whoever he is seeing,...could be better (shouldn't have kissed you at all),...but I've seen worse. 2
elaine567 Posted January 22, 2019 Posted January 22, 2019 I posted back in December about a guy I dated for two months. He was dating me and someone else at the same time and told me this. Said he was getting to know both of us. This is when you should have walked away. 2 months!!! to make up his mind, whilst you went "Pick me, pick me, pick me..." Where was your self respect? 1
Curiousroxy86 Posted January 22, 2019 Posted January 22, 2019 And so, maybe I shouldn’t be, but I’m just confused. In my previous post everyone pretty much said he’s just not that into you if he chose someone else over me. And I get it. But now, why did he even bring up meeting up again, then hanging out with me, and then actually kissing me at the end of the night? He obviously knows I still like him. Is he messing with my head? He could have just given me a hug as that was all I was expecting. I know we barely dated but something about this guy really hooked me. Girl he gaming the sh*t out of you and your falling for it smh You said it yourself. He knows you like him. He checking your temp seeing what he can get away with and you want to know what he think about you? She know I got a girl (the girl I chose over her) and she still reaching out? Man I still got it. Ego boost! Talked about my girl to her so it's not like she don't know right? Heck my girl tripping anyway. Imma go have drinks see what happen I'm going to kiss her and see what she do He training you up to be the side chick. Now if your okay with that then keep doing what you doing. 3
preraph Posted January 22, 2019 Posted January 22, 2019 He seems like an arrogant jerk, saying that to you! I know you want more! Good grief. Anyway, if you like that, fine. But he's already dropped you for someone else once. That means you're not a keeper to him. He certainly may be willing to dally with someone who already knows he's taken because that lets him off the hook to have any responsibility or obligations, but who needs that????
mortensorchid Posted January 22, 2019 Posted January 22, 2019 He is keeping you interested as a potential side chick. Are you okay with this? It doesn't sound like you are. Then again, I have reached a point in life now where I want all or nothing and if he's only going to work 30% of the time he's giving nothing. Which is what he is saying. Move it or loose it. And I suggest losing it.
Simple Logic Posted January 22, 2019 Posted January 22, 2019 I believe most men a rather simple creatures. You stated you dated 2 months and never had sex. He may actually enjoy your company more, but his carnal needs are being met else where.
olivetree Posted January 22, 2019 Posted January 22, 2019 Lots of inappropriate/shady behaviour while in a relationship: Meeting you, someone he dated, for drinks Talking about his relationship problemsKissing you I hope you never talk to him again OP. This is NOT a good man. You should have walked away instead of waiting for him to pick you and not have met up with him for drinks in the first place.
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