GF saves screenshot text messages of old romantic and other relationships

[JVort]

Ive been here before. Ive been dating a great very attractive girl for 4 months or so. We've done very well, things are progressing and I care for her deeply. She adores me as well. I know based on lots of experience that relationships can get tricky with beautiful women in tow. They get lots of attention which is fine albeit sometimes annoying. However, usually they crave it on some level more than what ive seen from other women. Invariably they've been getting this attention so long they may get off on it or need it. Thats obviously just a guess but I can say almost every one of them have craved attention on a high level. My attitude has always been that it comes with the territory. In this case, my GF is pretty grounded and bright but she is like many others I have dated. She points out when men check her out, when men have crushes on her etc. This is unsolicited and most times I shake it off and move on. Historically she sends me tons of screenshoted texts with her and her girlfriends talking about all kind of things. However, recently she told me that she came across in the cloud a screenshot of a man she dated that included him professing his love for her. She sent it to me and I thought that was odd. She dated this man for a month. Why she would save it was weird to me. When she sent it there was also a conversation with a man I didnt know that was pretty innocuous. again, I wondered why does she save these conversations. So I did tell her it was strange she sent that to me and asked who the other gentleman was. Now I realize we weren't dating at that time but it was sent to me and its there to read. She told me it was a teacher who taught at her school two years back that was married and wold text her drunk a lot and also at other times that she suspected liked her. The thread was from 10pm on a weekend night it looks like. So I asked her point blank why did you save this? Talking to a married man late at night is something iw Ould never do with a woman. its out of bounds. I suspected why she saved the screenshots. She commented that she sent them to her gf to show her he was texting her. Essentially, she was getting off on it. Cetainlly a major turnoff for me. Ive dealt with women like this many times so I have lots of experience with this. I know whats coming at this point before it happens. Now, tis is what I KNOW about. Of course, this makes me wonder if its happening now with someone. Also, It speaks to her character that this was something to laugh and brag about. It was just concerning and ive seen this pattern with her throughout our relationship. Im just wondering if I should be concerned? Should I look out for anything? What action can I take? This bothers me and how do I deal with that? Like to hear some constructive input. Thanks.

[PegNosePete]

recently she told me that she came across in the cloud a screenshot of a man she dated that included him professing his love for her. She sent it to me and I thought that was odd. She dated this man for a month. Why she would save it was weird to me.

Why didn't you ask her, as soon as she sent it? That is what I would have done. She sends it, I would reply "Why are you sending private, personal conversations to me?".

 

It's really strange thing to do and seems to be some kind of test of your reaction. If you react badly/weakly, you lose value in her eyes. If you react as she wants you to -- which may initiate a fight! -- you "pass" the test.

 

The reason she saves the conversations is so that she can send them to future boyfriends. Be ready for your private conversations to be sent to the next one.

 

I would never date someone like that!

[sabaton]

Ive been here before. Ive been dating a great very attractive girl for 4 months or so. We've done very well, things are progressing and I care for her deeply. She adores me as well. I know based on lots of experience that relationships can get tricky with beautiful women in tow. They get lots of attention which is fine albeit sometimes annoying. However, usually they crave it on some level more than what ive seen from other women. Invariably they've been getting this attention so long they may get off on it or need it. Thats obviously just a guess but I can say almost every one of them have craved attention on a high level. My attitude has always been that it comes with the territory. In this case, my GF is pretty grounded and bright but she is like many others I have dated. She points out when men check her out, when men have crushes on her etc. This is unsolicited and most times I shake it off and move on. Historically she sends me tons of screenshoted texts with her and her girlfriends talking about all kind of things. However, recently she told me that she came across in the cloud a screenshot of a man she dated that included him professing his love for her. She sent it to me and I thought that was odd. She dated this man for a month. Why she would save it was weird to me. When she sent it there was also a conversation with a man I didnt know that was pretty innocuous. again, I wondered why does she save these conversations. So I did tell her it was strange she sent that to me and asked who the other gentleman was. Now I realize we weren't dating at that time but it was sent to me and its there to read. She told me it was a teacher who taught at her school two years back that was married and wold text her drunk a lot and also at other times that she suspected liked her. The thread was from 10pm on a weekend night it looks like. So I asked her point blank why did you save this? Talking to a married man late at night is something iw Ould never do with a woman. its out of bounds. I suspected why she saved the screenshots. She commented that she sent them to her gf to show her he was texting her. Essentially, she was getting off on it. Cetainlly a major turnoff for me. Ive dealt with women like this many times so I have lots of experience with this. I know whats coming at this point before it happens. Now, tis is what I KNOW about. Of course, this makes me wonder if its happening now with someone. Also, It speaks to her character that this was something to laugh and brag about. It was just concerning and ive seen this pattern with her throughout our relationship. Im just wondering if I should be concerned? Should I look out for anything? What action can I take? This bothers me and how do I deal with that? Like to hear some constructive input. Thanks.

 

 

Dump her. She wants to go back to those other men but she can't, so she's dating you. I keep nudes of ex-girlfriends I still want to sleep with.

[ShadeOfGreen]

There are a couple of things going on here.

 

Sending you screenshots of conversations with exes or past love interests isn't productive to her current dating situation with you. You are right to be confused by it. Maybe it is all about attention and bragging. There are plenty of attractive women out there with enough self esteem that they don't need the validation of this kind of thing. It's not clear if you guys are exclusively dating or not, but I would tell a partner that I'm not comfortable with this type of behavior. I want my person to be excited about affections from me. Not from others.

 

The other problem is the inappropriate conversation with a married man. Better action on her part would've been shutting it down immediately, but it seems she let it happen for whatever reason. Ultimately, you are right to be concerned about this behavior as well.

 

She doesn't seem to sufficiently consider your feelings when sending you the screenshots of others hot on her, and her values clearly don't match yours when it comes to boundaries with other committed or married people. I'm betting you already know what to do from here. You can do better.

[smackie9]

The world still revolves around her, like a teenager....this says a lot about her maturity level. If you are just dating her just to have a GF then suck it up and go along for the ride. BUT if you are hoping something for the long haul, you are dating the wrong type of girl. She is the way she is, and there are no conversations with her that's going to change that. Seems to me you always pick this type of girl to date....maybe stop doing that.

[Curiousroxy86]

I too get turned off with men who boast about their looks and how girls want them randomly lol. I don't blame you. I personally wouldn't judge a guy who had a screenshot if he sent it to a friend and he is the type that don't delete his text messages or forgot that it was in his picture gallery. It happens. I would judge if he goes out of his way to try to make me jealous on purpose. One strike I'm going to call you out classy like lol. Second strike your out. But that's just me.

 

Overall evaluate if you can accept that she is a bit conceited. If you can it's just one of those things that will irk you. It's not going to go away. Accepting your partners flaw means you will get annoyed maybe a bit angry every time they do that "thing" but you just deal with it. Find whatever nondestructive coping method you can take. If you ultimately cannot accept your going to have to cut her loose. All you can do bruh.

[Juha]

Seems like she is immature, and narcissistic.

 

Why you would want to date someone like this is beyond me.

 

There is no changing her or anything you can do to make things better.

She is showing you the type of person she is and you either accept it

or not.

 

She may be hot but she is drama. It will only get worse as you progress this relationship. You already seem like you are starting not to trust her

[DrNo1962]

Read the thread title but not the great wall of text, try using paragraphs next time.

 

She uses those screenshots for validation and to boost what little self-esteem she has.

 

Have found that these types of girls tend to reach out to exes for even the most minor indiscretion such as a disagreement or petty fight.

 

Not worth the hassle IMO, but as they say "you do you".

[preraph]

I hate to be blunt, but are you actually sleeping with her? Because to me, it sounds like something someone who friendzoned you would do. Someone who wasn't into you romantically. She's treating you like her girlfriend. And yes, women talk about that stuff. Gossip.

 

I will say this, though. If you are sleeping together and she's not just got your friendzoned, she wouldn't be showing you this stuff if she was planning on cheating on you with them. I'd worry more about the ones she doesn't show you.

[olivetree]

This is definitely bragging, "you're so lucky to have me" behaviour.

 

Tell her it makes her seem insecure when she shares that with you, especially since it's not happening right now (so there's no reason for her to share it).