ljwentworth32 Posted January 22, 2019 Posted January 22, 2019 So I'm pretty novice to dating and the whole thing but am seeing someone and we live 1 hr away. We both have busy schedules during the week. Its a couple months in and we see each other once a week. Almost like clockwork.) Every time our dates usually end up on Friday or Saturdays nights only and we stay over at each other's place, get intimate, etc.. Should I invite her to hang out during the week briefly for a couple hours for some activity without having the overnight session/? Or maybe a weekend daytime activity and then grab lunch? Or is that too much of a friends vibe and instead you are suppose to only set nighttime dates primarily? just worried it is going to come across as a FWB situation or the fact that she may start wondering if I'm only setting up night time dates with ultimate motive of sex. Can someone help with guidance in this situation? thanks in advance.
Curiousroxy86 Posted January 22, 2019 Posted January 22, 2019 Should I invite her to hang out during the week briefly for a couple hours for some activity without having the overnight session/? Or maybe a weekend daytime activity and then grab lunch? Yes. Do that. Continue having y'all weekly overnights and ask her out on regular dates during the week too. If she like you and wants more than fwb she will love it. 1
Rayce Posted January 22, 2019 Posted January 22, 2019 Maybe you could meet up half way for dinner and movie or something during the week. 2
Author ljwentworth32 Posted January 22, 2019 Author Posted January 22, 2019 Yes. Do that. Continue having y'all weekly overnights and ask her out on regular dates during the week too. If she like you and wants more than fwb she will love it. Man I'm struggling with date night ideas too especially in winter time. I've realized its always dinner and whatever then sleepover. I mean the dates recently have been dinner and a movie or netflix and chill. Otherwise, I'm not sure if she'd want to go visit a museum or take a class together on the weekdays. especially since the busy schedule.
Author ljwentworth32 Posted January 22, 2019 Author Posted January 22, 2019 Maybe you could meet up half way for dinner and movie or something during the week. thank you for the response. that's 2 votes for midweek meetup. I may have to invite her midweek at some point. Even she mentions we only hang out on weekends. but I feel dinner and movie is redundant since our last 3,4 dates have been some variety of dinner and a movie on the weekends especially since is winter. any interesting date ideas mid week or weekend would be welcome...
Versacehottie Posted January 22, 2019 Posted January 22, 2019 Talk about stuff you want to do together in the future (i.e. in spring when weather is better and it's more practical to be out and about). Also get more creative when it comes to what you can do now and still mention it in advance. All of that shows that you are thinking of her in your future plans. Even if you are netflix and chill, do it in a way where it is something you guys look forward to and creates a bond. Like a series or movie you want to show her or vice versa. Or one you've heard about and plan to see together. Basically making of a "plan" shows her that you are thinking of her when you are not spending this somewhat casual time together and making the best of what the current situation is (with weather and distance). You want to be able to build on the bond that is between you, like through inside jokes, shared experiences, deeper talks, things to look forward to. Good luck 1
Cakess Posted January 22, 2019 Posted January 22, 2019 I think there's nothing wrong with an offer to a meetup. If she declines, oh well, but the gesture means soooo much you have no idea.
basil67 Posted January 22, 2019 Posted January 22, 2019 What about spending a half the weekend together? Late Sat morning to Sunday afternoon
Author ljwentworth32 Posted January 22, 2019 Author Posted January 22, 2019 I think there's nothing wrong with an offer to a meetup. If she declines, oh well, but the gesture means soooo much you have no idea. thank you, didn't even think of that. I think I will at least offer a mid week meetup. I think she's one of those where , the gesture or thought counts more than the action type of girl too.
Lotsgoingon Posted January 22, 2019 Posted January 22, 2019 I'm assuming you're in your 20s ... am I right? People in their 20s can easily spend the night an hour away and just get up earlier in the morning. I am not sure why you're acting like a midweek night with each other is impossible. Your confusion about date ideas ... suggests to me ... that neither of you is really into this relationship. Sounds like you both are seeing each other because you have nothing else to do. If you don't have a thousand things you wanna do with her ... then something is wrong ... no concers you'd both be interested in? ... no shows? ... no game nights? no bowling, no dancing, no music places? ... no athletic events? ... no hobbies?
rightondude Posted January 22, 2019 Posted January 22, 2019 yeah agreed an hour's nothing especially if you're already shacking up. just take a change of clothes and a toothbrush and get up an hour earlier
d0nnivain Posted January 22, 2019 Posted January 22, 2019 Do a midway dinner or movie with no sleepover on the weekday. Low key, effortless & ending early are important to balance schedules. Weekday sleepovers are a p.i.t.a. especially if one of you works in the opposite direction. Nobody wants to add an hour plus to their commute. Save the creative stuff -- museum, indoor rock climbing etc. for the weekend. 1
fieldoflavender Posted January 22, 2019 Posted January 22, 2019 Depends on how demanding your work is. My work is so demanding during the week that there's no way I can pull off a meet-up during the week unless it's like a special occasion or something. I live about 1h (during traffic, about 40 minutes otherwise) from the guy I'm seeing now too. We only do weekends but we've almost never skipped a weekend since we started dating.
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted January 22, 2019 Posted January 22, 2019 Creative dates are tough in cold weather. But, to answer the original question, I vote for meeting halfway once a week for dinner. Take turns choosing the place. Find coupons and see who can find the cheapest, tastiest eats!
Author ljwentworth32 Posted January 22, 2019 Author Posted January 22, 2019 Depends on how demanding your work is. My work is so demanding during the week that there's no way I can pull off a meet-up during the week unless it's like a special occasion or something. I live about 1h (during traffic, about 40 minutes otherwise) from the guy I'm seeing now too. We only do weekends but we've almost never skipped a weekend since we started dating. Good to hear your perspective. Wanted to see if anyone else was on the once a week schedule too. Midweek is just tough because it'll essentially be a 2 hr meetup max.
fieldoflavender Posted January 22, 2019 Posted January 22, 2019 I think if I for whatever reason really missed him or really wanted to see him or there was a special event, I wouldn't mind doing it. But I think doing it on a regular basis is kind of rough. My previous long term relationship we lived 2 blocks away but even then we were both busy people and sometimes didn't always do weekday meet-ups. It depends if you have any work to take home - I do and it strains my sleep if I do weekday meet-ups.Plus rush hour traffic etc.
PRW Posted January 22, 2019 Posted January 22, 2019 Should I invite her to hang out during the week briefly for a couple hours for some activity without having the overnight session/? Or maybe a weekend daytime activity and then grab lunch? Or is that too much of a friends vibe and instead you are suppose to only set nighttime dates primarily?The main concern for that is when two people first meet,...you want to start out with the correct context. Obviously married people are together 24/7. It can be fine, just don't make it the "main thing" and don't let that method dominate.
Author ljwentworth32 Posted January 22, 2019 Author Posted January 22, 2019 The main concern for that is when two people first meet,...you want to start out with the correct context. Obviously married people are together 24/7. It can be fine, just don't make it the "main thing" and don't let that method dominate. sorry, not following. are you saying don't make only nighttime dates the "main thing"? because it makes it too mundane or sometehing? can you please clarify? Got lost in reading your statement.
Curiousroxy86 Posted January 22, 2019 Posted January 22, 2019 Man I'm struggling with date night ideas too especially in winter time. I've realized its always dinner and whatever then sleepover. I mean the dates recently have been dinner and a movie or netflix and chill. Otherwise, I'm not sure if she'd want to go visit a museum or take a class together on the weekdays. especially since the busy schedule. Let's see night dates besides dinner you have movies, maybe a local band, bowling, plays, dancing, bar and some pool if she's a down to earth chick...all I can think of right now During the day in winter with busy schedule? Hmmm quick bite to eat is really all I can think of in that regard. If y'all had more time escape rooms are fun. Maybe some indoor sport. Where I live there's an indoor obstacle course that's pretty fun to do.
MissBee Posted January 22, 2019 Posted January 22, 2019 A weekend daytime date sounds nice! You've already been sleeping together and going on dates so not sure why that would be construed as friends...seems like it's obvious you're more than friends, esp since you guys live an hour away and make that trip. You can also ask about the week days if you guys end up having free time then.
LastStraw Posted January 22, 2019 Posted January 22, 2019 You don't need to do something special on dates IMO. If you are into the person, going grocery shopping or washing the car can be equally fun to a fancy dinner or skydiving. It is all about the person, not the activity. Do you talk on the phone daily? We do that and it keeps us connected even if we can't see each other during the week.
Simple Logic Posted January 22, 2019 Posted January 22, 2019 1 hour apart does not sound like a huge hurdle if you have the financial resources and your work schedule allows a little flexing. Work at 10 hours day, next day work 6 and go on a mid week date or work 4 ten hour shifts and add a mid week date. Utilize a 1/2 day vacation or personal day.
Happy Lemming Posted January 23, 2019 Posted January 23, 2019 (edited) If you both drove and met in the middle is there a little hotel or motel in that town?? Plan a little activity in that town, then go have motel/hotel sex (which is great, by the way)!! Make sure you pack "work clothes", so you can shower, check out and leave in time to get to work the next morning in time... Edited January 23, 2019 by Happy Lemming
PRW Posted January 23, 2019 Posted January 23, 2019 sorry, not following. are you saying don't make only nighttime dates the "main thing"? because it makes it too mundane or something? Can you please clarify? Got lost in reading your statement.Don't over-do the daytime dates. Don't let the relationship become "buddies hanging out",...the romantic context needs to dominate. But that is more critical at the beginning than it is later on.
Author ljwentworth32 Posted January 23, 2019 Author Posted January 23, 2019 Don't over-do the daytime dates. Don't let the relationship become "buddies hanging out",...the romantic context needs to dominate. But that is more critical at the beginning than it is later on. Thank you kind sir. Nighttime it is!
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