BaileyB Posted January 21, 2019 Posted January 21, 2019 Not to veer off topic, but I find it mind boggling that a woman could meet some strange guy on a dating app get buzzed, sleep with him and let him spend the night.....without at least some type of feeling out process or getting to know him.....at least a little bit.... Seems pretty reckless to me...I dunno....God, I hope my daughter has more sense in her head.... TFY Agree. Completely. 2
BaileyB Posted January 21, 2019 Posted January 21, 2019 (edited) So interesting that many people say “sooner is better” then a few others say the opposite and to wait a full week. 90+% of the time, it is a woman saying I should contact sooner, and a man saying I should wait 4-6 days or more.. [] No man has ever gone wrong texting a woman or even calling the day after they had sex for the first time. If you decide to wait the requisite “48 hours” as some of the men are suggesting, it would signal to me that you are either playing games or not interested. It certainly shows no respect or consideration toward the woman or the fact that you shared an intimate experience together. Waiting days to call after sex would guarantee that you would not get a call back from me. Edited January 21, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Topical content 3
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted January 21, 2019 Posted January 21, 2019 Waiting days to call after sex would guarantee that you would not get a call back from me. Same here. Does not have to be a date invitation. Just acknowledge the women's existence as more than just a lay. 2
40somethingGuy Posted January 21, 2019 Posted January 21, 2019 (edited) <snip> My question for you all is if you follow up after dates like this, and if so, how/when? Typically, I will wait 3-4 days to follow up, say I had a nice time, and text something along the lines of "would be great to see you again, whats your schedule like later this week/coming weekend?" I'm already thinking it would be nice to have her over one evening for dinner, or something along those lines. <snip> Call tonight, tell her how much you enjoyed being with her, and offer her over to your cooking. Be romantic and make sure you ask her if she wants to see your new color TV in your bedroom. Then, go down on her for a long time until she climaxes. Then some more. Go out of your way to give her all the pleasure. That will make her feel like you are not just out for yourself in sex. Against most men, you'd be different and stand out to her. Edited January 21, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Truncate quote
Lotsgoingon Posted January 21, 2019 Posted January 21, 2019 (edited) [] No man has ever gone wrong texting a woman or even calling the day after they had sex for the first time. If you decide to wait the requisite “48 hours” as some of the men are suggesting, it would signal to me that you are either playing games or not interested. It certainly shows no respect or consideration toward the woman or the fact that you shared an intimate experience together. Waiting days to call after sex would guarantee that you would not get a call back from me. Agree with this^^^^^ ... Waiting to contact a woman after sex ... always landed me in trouble when the woman was someone I was truly interested in. That's women from a range of income levels, education levels, ethnic groups, from the most confident and popular to the most shy. Sometimes I recovered ... but not without a lot of explaining and suspicion. Delaying contact even after casual sex didn't go so well if I wanted to see them again. Edited January 21, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Edit quote 1
William Posted January 21, 2019 Posted January 21, 2019 (edited) Topic check: My question for you all is if you follow up after dates like this, and if so, how/when? Typically, I will wait 3-4 days to follow up, say I had a nice time, and text something along the lines of "would be great to see you again, whats your schedule like later this week/coming weekend?" I'm already thinking it would be nice to have her over one evening for dinner, or something along those lines.For purposes of publication, all perspectives offered are to be considered of equal value and all shall be respected per our site policies. I hope that clears the whose gender is better thing up. Thanks! Edited January 21, 2019 by William whose not who's
BC1980 Posted January 21, 2019 Posted January 21, 2019 I agree with the others....Don't play games...Do whatever you think you need to do, if you want to take it further.. Not to veer off topic, but I find it mind boggling that a woman could meet some strange guy on a dating app get buzzed, sleep with him and let him spend the night.....without at least some type of feeling out process or getting to know him.....at least a little bit.... Seems pretty reckless to me...I dunno....God, I hope my daughter has more sense in her head.... TFY I saw one of those ID shows where a woman was murdered by a guy from a dating app that she let sleep over on the first date. But to the OP, 3-4 days is too long to wait regardless of having sex. 24 hours at the absolute most. Anything longer is just playing games to get the upper hand. 1
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted January 21, 2019 Posted January 21, 2019 I saw one of those ID shows where a woman was murdered by a guy from a dating app that she let sleep over on the first date. But to the OP, 3-4 days is too long to wait regardless of having sex. 24 hours at the absolute most. Anything longer is just playing games to get the upper hand. Which seems to be considered valid advice. 1
d0nnivain Posted January 21, 2019 Posted January 21, 2019 Waiting a full week is too long, I agree. But texting today is too soon - I just saw her yesterday morning and when I kissed her goodbye, she gave me the same deep passionate kisses she gave me the night before. Anyone agree that contact tomorrow (3days after our Saturday date) is fine? It seems that every woman on this thread says to do it today or ASAP, then the guys say to wait a few days. No contacting her tomorrow is NOT fine. Asking her out tomorrow or later is fine but reach out today. If you live anywhere effected by these freezing temperatures just send something about her staying warm: I had fun this weekend. Hope you stay warm as we all brave these plunging temps. Light & non committal is fine but touch base. 2
Andy_K Posted January 21, 2019 Posted January 21, 2019 If she slept with you, she likes you. If she likes you, the sooner she hears from you the better. You don't need to play games at this point. She's already thinking of you, it's just a question of if she's thinking 'what a d**k, he's playing games' or 'He sounds like he likes me, I hope he's going to ask me out again?' You don't need to ask her out straight away, but some form of 'I had a great time' is enough to get the ball rolling. 3
Wallysbears Posted January 21, 2019 Posted January 21, 2019 Ok, so I've taken the time to read the "books" by one of the 'dating coaches' being referenced here. The advice said coach gives in regards to calling is that if you meet a person and get their number on a Friday/Saturday and haven't had a date - then you call on Tuesday or Wednesday. But...you've done more than MEET this woman. You aren't trying to gauge her level of interest in you. You two had sex. Either she's into you or she's not. And by game playing at this point...you WILL make her insecure and potentially shut down interest that she may have in you. 1
alphamale Posted January 21, 2019 Posted January 21, 2019 it's nice to see a man with a backbone around these parts. you already know what to do young man. 1
Author BJP1991 Posted January 21, 2019 Author Posted January 21, 2019 I have always had the worst luck following up the day after a hookup. For context: I am 28, she is 25. I am not looking for a LTR - I purely want to just go on dates and have fun. So many people are saying to follow up right away - it has just never worked great in my personal experience.
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted January 21, 2019 Posted January 21, 2019 I have always had the worst luck following up the day after a hookup. For context: I am 28, she is 25. I am not looking for a LTR - I purely want to just go on dates and have fun. So many people are saying to follow up right away - it has just never worked great in my personal experience. Then don't do it, especially if you only see her as someone to "have fun with." You might give her the wrong idea (that you value her as someone to get to know on a deeper level) if you contact too soon. Good luck. 2
basil67 Posted January 21, 2019 Posted January 21, 2019 I have always had the worst luck following up the day after a hookup. For context: I am 28, she is 25. I am not looking for a LTR - I purely want to just go on dates and have fun. So many people are saying to follow up right away - it has just never worked great in my personal experience. I would also have said that you should follow up right away - but that's because I assumed you'd want a future with her. However as you only want her for casual stuff, I say do whatever you want. She may or may not bother with you again if you wait, but if it's only fun you want, there's no great loss. 2
Versacehottie Posted January 21, 2019 Posted January 21, 2019 I have always had the worst luck following up the day after a hookup. For context: I am 28, she is 25. I am not looking for a LTR - I purely want to just go on dates and have fun. So many people are saying to follow up right away - it has just never worked great in my personal experience. If this is your goal, i think that there is even less a worry to do it "right". Just go with the momentum you have and have fun. For having FUN, to me, the best thing to take advantage of is the momentum and act freely and confidently. Just go with your gut. *just a note:depending on the girl, who MAY want a LTR, it could be over just as quickly once you get to the "crossroads" where you address that issue sooooo you may as well act like someone who wants to have fun, i.e. provide fun and fuel the momentum. That's my take for that goal especially.
manfrombelow2 Posted January 21, 2019 Posted January 21, 2019 (edited) You misunderstood the bold part, which was said by Corey Wayne (Yes I am polite and educated enough to mention his name when I quoted his teaching). It was meant to set up the INITIAL date, which is a start to eventually have sex with the woman. Here, OP did more than that, he had sex with his woman right in the first date. By seducing and sleeping with this woman, OP has thrown the tennis ball over her court, and now it's HER JOB to send it back, at least until he asks her for the second date. And NO, unless OP was too clumsy on bed with her, this woman will NEVER shut down her interest just because he doesn't text until the second date. In fact, it's a scientific fact that WOMEN ARE MORE ATTRACTED TO MEN WHOSE FEELINGS ARE UNCLEAR. By not initiating the text at least for one week, OP will communicate himself as a centered and high quality man. He gives off a vibe that he has a life, he has many other options beside this woman, and most importantly, he will communicate that he is not NEEDY, CLINGY and DESPERATE. The advice said coach gives in regards to calling is that if you meet a person and get their number on a Friday/Saturday and haven't had a date - then you call on Tuesday or Wednesday.<snip> Edited January 21, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Truncate quote
Author BJP1991 Posted January 21, 2019 Author Posted January 21, 2019 Seems pretty reckless to me...I dunno....God, I hope my daughter has more sense in her head.... TFY Any young, single males out there have perspective? As a young, single male, it seems wrong to take advice from someone who is not within my demographic. Not that the words are not helpful or insightful (because they definitely are), but getting advice from someone who has ACTUALLY BEEN THERE BEFORE is what I need.
Author BJP1991 Posted January 21, 2019 Author Posted January 21, 2019 [] No man has ever gone wrong texting a woman or even calling the day after they had sex for the first time. If you decide to wait the requisite “48 hours” as some of the men are suggesting, it would signal to me that you are either playing games or not interested. It certainly shows no respect or consideration toward the woman or the fact that you shared an intimate experience together. Waiting days to call after sex would guarantee that you would not get a call back from me. Lol - from personal experience, I am telling you that you are dead-wrong. Contacting too soon after a date will not raise a woman's interest level. Studies have shown that women are more attracted to men who's feeling are unclear. Contacting right away just tips off your hand, and not in a positive way.
manfrombelow2 Posted January 21, 2019 Posted January 21, 2019 OP, this is not a discussion thread, but a "How To..." one. You asked your question. And people were giving you replies. All you could say, or contribute to this very thread of yours, is saying thank you to the posters, not trying to argue with each and every poster, that's just wrong. Because logically speaking, if you have already known everything, they why bother to open this topic? You either do as you intended to, or you don't. That's just it. 1
Author BJP1991 Posted January 21, 2019 Author Posted January 21, 2019 (edited) OP, this is not a discussion thread, but a "How To..." one.<snip> I apologize, I moreso am just confused and uncertain if taking the advice of "contacting right away" is smart, just because I have seen it fail so many time (for myself, my buddies, coworkers, etc). If anyone who is within my demographic (20-30 y.o. male) has had success from initiating contact 24-48 hours after a first-date hookup from a mobile dating app, please do share your experiences. I, for one, just was wondering what specifically to say, when I do reach out to her on Tuesday. My decision was made all along on what day to contact her. When I point out that some people indicate contacting right away "might" be improper (from my own personal experience), I am not trying to argue, but rather just trying to see if that response furthers any of their insights (which, it has for a few of them, especially when I revealed I am not trying to make her my "girlfriend", so to say). Edited January 21, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Truncate quote of immediately preceding post
thefooloftheyear Posted January 21, 2019 Posted January 21, 2019 Any young, single males out there have perspective? As a young, single male, it seems wrong to take advice from someone who is not within my demographic. Not that the words are not helpful or insightful (because they definitely are), but getting advice from someone who has ACTUALLY BEEN THERE BEFORE is what I need. You're right....I've never "been there before"....:lmao: TFY 1
SophieG Posted January 21, 2019 Posted January 21, 2019 (edited) I apologize, I moreso am just confused and uncertain if taking the advice of "contacting right away" is smart, just because I have seen it fail so many time (for myself, my buddies, coworkers, etc).<snip> I’m a woman, but I can answer for my boyfriend (since I know what he did, I was on the receiving end). On our first date, we did hook up, but didn’t sleep over. He left around 10pm and wrote me on the same evening (and I replied). If memory serves, he contacted me the next day. But we were both interested in a relationship, so that’s where it’s different. Before him, I hooked up with a guy, who slept over (left in the morning). He texted me something random in the evening. We saw each other for a few weeks but I realized that a FWB was not what I was looking for, so we stopped seeing each other. Edited January 21, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Truncate quote
elaine567 Posted January 21, 2019 Posted January 21, 2019 I apologize, I moreso am just confused and uncertain if taking the advice of "contacting right away" is smart, just because I have seen it fail so many time (for myself, my buddies, coworkers, etc). Ever considered she was just not that interested whether you had contacted her in 24hrs or left it for a week.
Author BJP1991 Posted January 21, 2019 Author Posted January 21, 2019 Ever considered she was just not that interested whether you had contacted her in 24hrs or left it for a week. Precisely why it is "risky" to reach out too soon in the first place. That is why I assume all women are around a 6-7 interest in me ALWAYS after a first date, regardless if we hooked up or not. Treat all women the same!
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