Tiga Posted January 21, 2019 Posted January 21, 2019 A guy that I’ve been dating for a month in a half recently told me that he loved me. He told me that he hasn’t felt this way about anyone and that “when you know you know”. He has expressed that he wants to make me happy and that he can’t see himself with anyone else. He keeps telling me these things and we get along very well and have a deep connection. I am just wondering if this is abnormal? I feel love feelings for him too but maybe I am afraid that we are moving so quickly. We talk non stop and have spent a lot of time together.
GTR King Posted January 21, 2019 Posted January 21, 2019 It's not to soon, You will know when it feels right to say I love you
FMW Posted January 21, 2019 Posted January 21, 2019 Sometimes intense immediate emotions burn out as quickly as they start. Don't rush into any big decisions together like living together, getting engaged/married. Enjoy the "love", but be smart about it. 1
Art Anderson Posted January 21, 2019 Posted January 21, 2019 A guy that I’ve been dating for a month in a half recently told me that he loved me. He told me that he hasn’t felt this way about anyone and that “when you know you know”. He has expressed that he wants to make me happy and that he can’t see himself with anyone else. He keeps telling me these things and we get along very well and have a deep connection. I am just wondering if this is abnormal? I feel love feelings for him too but maybe I am afraid that we are moving so quickly. We talk non stop and have spent a lot of time together. Normally, I would be very pleased if someone I was really into told me that. Like, "Yeah! Finally someone said it." But both women in the last 4 years that acted like that, things burned up shortly after. The harder these people run at something, the harder and further they bounce off it. One was clearly using me for a rebound. Met weeks before Christmas (a new no no rule for me). Got the I'm not ready .... text mid January. A week later her Facebook is plastered with pics of her and her boyfriend who's moved back in with her, his ATV and jet ski trailers in her driveway. Last week was someone I'd been taking places after knowing them for 2 years in town. She had me over the moon, very captivating but to the point my radar was telling me it's too much to be real. She's got 90% of the family/marital history and actions of BPD. Rough life ahead for her. So keep your guard up but enjoy the interest. Be true to yourself.
PRW Posted January 21, 2019 Posted January 21, 2019 I am just wondering if this is abnormal?Yes. It is a person who lacks emotional control.
manfrombelow2 Posted January 21, 2019 Posted January 21, 2019 1/ OK so he basically "confessed" his love for you, which communicates he is needy and not in his masculine core. A guy that I’ve been dating for a month in a half recently told me that he loved me. 2/ So he tries to talk you into liking him. This is bad. He keeps telling me these things and we get along very well and have a deep connection. 3/ It's not about being abnormal or not, because emotions are hard to control, but it is about him being more interested in you than you are to him. The fact that you are not feeling really comfortable about this communicates he's doing everything wrong, and that your interest level in him is DROPPING as you are making this topic. And I am not surprised if you are going to dump him very soon. I am just wondering if this is abnormal? I feel love feelings for him too but maybe I am afraid that we are moving so quickly. We talk non stop and have spent a lot of time together.
Curiousroxy86 Posted January 21, 2019 Posted January 21, 2019 A guy that I’ve been dating for a month in a half recently told me that he loved me. He told me that he hasn’t felt this way about anyone and that “when you know you know”. He has expressed that he wants to make me happy and that he can’t see himself with anyone else. He keeps telling me these things and we get along very well and have a deep connection. I am just wondering if this is abnormal? I feel love feelings for him too but maybe I am afraid that we are moving so quickly. We talk non stop and have spent a lot of time together. When a man feels good about a girl he is like a kid in an amusement park with no waiting lines A kid in an amusement park is having the time of their life riding rides as many times as they want and may say "I freaking love this place I want to stay here forever!" but eventually they are going to get tired of being at that amusement and want to go home lol. It would be a silly for a parent to take that kids words seriously. So be like a wise parent and don't take this guy seriously. He may really feel like he "loves you" because he feels good about you. But don't take him seriously. Now You don't have to rain on his parade. Accept and return his affections just don't be blinded by it. Some may warn you about "love bombing". But the newness of a budding relationship is one of the fun things to experience in dating. It feels good to be wanted, desired, sought after. It feels good to really like someone and they like you back. So I say ride the love bombs but just don't trust it. What hurts about being love bombed is not so much that your experiencing the infatuation but that you actually believed the person infatuated with you "loved" you and got blindsided when he disappears, cheats, abuse or whatever actions that the obvious total opposite of the way he was towards you at the beginning. So again just don't trust it. Be a smart saavy dater by allowing this man to pursue you and show you how much he cares. Respond with enthusiasm and return his affections. if and when he starts to get distant don't be on some "i thought you loved me!". This is predictable. Observe and when he does something that doesn't feel good to you communicate your standards. If he can't step up then again don't be bitter because of what he said and how he was at the beginning. Just know he is the wrong man and be glad he revealed himself as the wrong man and let him go. The truth will reveal itself. You will know a man loves you by his continued consistent actions over time. A man who loves you is a man who don't disappear on you and treats you well consistently. Keep the definition this simple and you will have no problem in figuring out if a man loves you or not. So if you were to adopt the mind set that a man who loves you is a man who don't disappear and treats you well consistently over time can you say this current man loves you? No you cannot. Why? The time y'all known each other. The best test of love truly is time. Right now He really likes you and is feeling good at the moment. But he doesn't love you. Need a timeline? Three months y'all are together and he has been treating you right consistently I would say yea he really likes me. Six months and he still is consistent? And y'all have had a conflict or two and have revealed some baggage/flaws but he is still sticking around and treating you right (it has to be both) then I would start to believe the guy loves me. Then months turn to years continuing after that where y'all are going through conflicts and changes if he is still sticking around and treating me right consistently I would continue being a believer in the love he says he has for me. So now knowing this you can continue getting to know this man, have your romantic fun, but stay level headed because if and high possibility when he shows an action of disrespect, distance, manipulation, abuse you have to ruthlessly respond with intolerance by either letting him know it's not okay and then leaving if he doesn't correct. Remember he must treat you right in order to judge his love and whether he should remain in your life! Please don't forget this. Whatever you decide to do don't ever believe a man loves you until he shows you by treating you right consistently over time.
smackie9 Posted January 21, 2019 Posted January 21, 2019 It's not because when it's right...it's right. Congratz, I hope things go well for you.
ShadeOfGreen Posted January 21, 2019 Posted January 21, 2019 Don't say it back until you feel comfortable. You can mention that you are feeling really good about him and your time together, but you aren't ready to say it in that way. Just be honest, so he knows where you stand. If things are awesome, then keep spending time together. Enjoy it.
Simple Logic Posted January 21, 2019 Posted January 21, 2019 1/ OK so he basically "confessed" his love for you, which communicates he is needy and not in his masculine core. Because real men never never fall in love and certainly never tell a women he loves them unless he just wants sex.
lurker74 Posted January 21, 2019 Posted January 21, 2019 There are not many rules for dating but one that is pretty close to a rule when it comes to turning a dating relationship into a long-term relationship is that it should be escalated correctly. This means that if things move too fast relative to everything else, then yes, it can be bad, or abnormal as you say. That means the emotional should escalate alongside the physical, with neither getting ahead of the other too far. In 45 days, it's possible to escalate both quickly but there are other things that go along with it, such as: Meeting and enjoying each others' friendsMeeting familyVacationBeing ok being apart at timesFighting By the way, that last one is very important. Can you fight without getting dirty and can you move on from it? This and the others should all be present is an actual relationship, otherwise you are likely getting love-bombed or being unrealistic.
PRW Posted January 21, 2019 Posted January 21, 2019 Because real men never never fall in love and certainly never tell a women he loves them unless he just wants sex.Not after just a few brief dates.
Recommended Posts