NCAC Posted January 21, 2019 Posted January 21, 2019 Hello hello! Sooooo I matched with this guy on tinder last week and we've been having the chats daily for the last week.We would send lots of voice notes as we are both expats in the same city abroad. So we were due to catch up on Friday just gone but he was on call for work so we said we would rearrange. Chats continued and then on Sunday (yesterday) brief chats etc about possibly meeting up later I was out all day so I texted him about 4hrs later when I was driving home at like 8pm saying I was out etc just on route home what are you up to sorta thing.? So anyways he was free so I ended up picking him up and we just went for a drive and had the chats bit of banter and laughs. That lasted about an 2 hrs and I dropped him back around 1030pm. So when he was getting out of the car and it's that awkward bye and he was like oh come here for a hug was nice to finally meet you sorta thing ill see you soon etc When I got home I sent him a message saying 'Nice to meet ya lol smiley face' but no reply at all.... He's been in work all day and he's footy this evening but he's been online and on insta today as he's seen my story.. Thoughts? I felt like we had a really good banter and he gave me a few compliments etc. Should I double text when a should catch up during the week if your free for a beer!? Thought / Advice / Tips / Help THANK YOU!! xx
snowboy91 Posted January 21, 2019 Posted January 21, 2019 You both sound like you have fairly busy lives - any reason why you couldn't message back while you were "out"? By messaging him again you really have nothing to lose. I'd bet against him responding to it, but it's just a text, what could go wrong? If he doesn't respond to that second message, I'd definitely wouldn't bother again. 1
Author NCAC Posted January 21, 2019 Author Posted January 21, 2019 You both sound like you have fairly busy lives - any reason why you couldn't message back while you were "out"? By messaging him again you really have nothing to lose. I'd bet against him responding to it, but it's just a text, what could go wrong? If he doesn't respond to that second message, I'd definitely wouldn't bother again. Thanks for your reply! I was out with the girls at the beach and having dinner so i guess i just forgot to reply! But when I texted him asking was he about he got back within a minute and then we met up about 15mins later! Yes true maybe I will try hold off and send him a message tomorrow? I've a gig tomorrow eve so I could send it after that or something.. Men are so tricky. He did mention before that he liked me and that if he wasn't interested he would be polite and say it to the person sorta thing so maybe i should just ask him straight up if he is keen to go for food / drinks
MaleIntuition Posted January 21, 2019 Posted January 21, 2019 Thanks for your reply! I was out with the girls at the beach and having dinner so i guess i just forgot to reply! But when I texted him asking was he about he got back within a minute and then we met up about 15mins later! Yes true maybe I will try hold off and send him a message tomorrow? I've a gig tomorrow eve so I could send it after that or something.. Men are so tricky. He did mention before that he liked me and that if he wasn't interested he would be polite and say it to the person sorta thing so maybe i should just ask him straight up if he is keen to go for food / drinks It’s not a good sign that he didn’t respond to your post-date message... but as snowboy said, there is nothing to lose - but don’t get your hopes up. Personally I would also advice against the over-texting before a date. It creates an artificial sense of closeness with a person you’ve never really met and therefore puts more pressure and expectations on the first date. 1
Curiousroxy86 Posted January 21, 2019 Posted January 21, 2019 Should I double text when a should catch up during the week if your free for a beer!? Thought / Advice / Tips / Help THANK YOU!! xx No. Find someone else. If a guy likes you/wants to go out with you he will make It known.
Kelliousme Posted January 21, 2019 Posted January 21, 2019 It's obvious he's not interested if he didn't respond to your text after the date. He has time to shower, get into bed, eat, etc then he has time to text you. It takes like what? A few minutes? If he's interested he would definitely text you back to let you know he's interested. Why would he leave you hanging if he likes you right?
AriesDude Posted January 21, 2019 Posted January 21, 2019 yeah agreed. This does not scream interest, even a little. This screams "she didnt put out after the first short date so meh lets ignore her and go on insta" Someone sweet/kind enough to go and pick a guy up to spend a little time together deserves much more
d0nnivain Posted January 21, 2019 Posted January 21, 2019 Your expectations are out of whack. You built up the whole texting thing as a connection. It wasn't. You got too used to too much contact too soon. Nothing is real until you meet. You met. He's not lukewarm at best. Translation: his interest has waned. Going forward spend less time on the back & forth before meeting. Seriously daily chats with somebody I never met would feel smothering & ridiculous to me. Put no stock in anything or anybody until you have been out on several in person dates.
ShyLove Posted January 21, 2019 Posted January 21, 2019 Do you look like your picture on Tinder? I hear guys complaining about that a lot at work. They will just ignore them after the date. I'm just giving you one perspective
manfrombelow2 Posted January 21, 2019 Posted January 21, 2019 I wouldn't care to investigate the reason why he didn't reply your text. What I do care, however, is the fact that he didn't reply your text. At this point, reasons don't matter anymore, what matters is by not replying your text (which he had the right to), he communicates that he simply does not want to involve with you anymore. And when people don't want to involve with us anymore, all we can do is respect that, leave them alone and stop thinking about them. Nobody owes nobody anything. That's life. 2
Wallysbears Posted January 21, 2019 Posted January 21, 2019 Yuck yuck yuck yuck. I hate texting and I hate lazy daters. And this guy sounds like both. And please don't go picking up strangers and taking them in your car. You don't know this man/people. Be safe. 2
Lotsgoingon Posted January 22, 2019 Posted January 22, 2019 He got your message! .... Messages are never lost ... and he would have contacted you without you contacting him first ... if he were interested. He's not interested ...
I'veseenbetterlol Posted January 22, 2019 Posted January 22, 2019 When I got home I sent him a message saying 'Nice to meet ya lol smiley face' but no reply at all.... He's been in work all day and he's footy this evening but he's been online and on insta today as he's seen my story.. Thoughts? I felt like we had a really good banter and he gave me a few compliments etc. Should I double text when a should catch up during the week if your free for a beer!? Thought / Advice / Tips / Help THANK YOU!! xx Texting may not seem like a big deal, but in my experience texting directly correlates to interest, especially when they are active on social media. If they are active on social media on their phone, you can bet they see messages from you. I dated a guy long distance who would always be active on social media, but would take an upwards of 6 or more hours to text me back. He told me he wasn't a texter, but upon observation during his visit, his phone was glued to his hand and he was constantly answering his friends. Do not make an effort to get ahold of him. If he isn't answering his interest level is very low.
toomanyquestions123 Posted January 22, 2019 Posted January 22, 2019 He used to text back immediately before meeting you and now he doesnt ? this means his interest is low. But u can't lose anything by texting him again to make sure, some guys play those mind games after a date, they take time to text you so they will show you they are not that interested... you will lose nothing by texting him only one time. goodluck xoxo
smackie9 Posted January 22, 2019 Posted January 22, 2019 I'm going to go with low interest. Any guy that had interest in me wanted to see me again and set a date up at the end of the first date. One guy went as far as sending a single red rose to my door the next day with a note asking for another date....too bad I wasn't interested. What I have seen so far you have been the one pursuing and still has not got you any real results....stop wasting your time. 1
olivetree Posted January 22, 2019 Posted January 22, 2019 He doesn't sound very interested since he didn't reply. Plus you already initiated the meetup so that puts you in the pursuer role to ask him out again... not really where you want to be as a woman (IMO). 1
smackie9 Posted January 23, 2019 Posted January 23, 2019 I agree. Also this can get him thinking, "Well she keeps asking to go out, maybe I can get laid out of this" 1
Hopeful30 Posted January 23, 2019 Posted January 23, 2019 Easy. You GUT. Whatever it says, that's the truth.
Hopeful30 Posted January 23, 2019 Posted January 23, 2019 I agree. Also this can get him thinking, "Well she keeps asking to go out, maybe I can get laid out of this" It's why I never ask men out. Men will easily agree if sex is possible. Therefore women who chase men are simply making themselves available without knowing the true intentions of a man. It's why I believe men should always chase, and why it makes sense to me that this is how nature works in pretty much 90% of all species. It's not accidental.
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