Curiousroxy86 Posted January 21, 2019 Posted January 21, 2019 Say your single and dating. Your dating multiple people until you agree to be in an exclusive boyfriend girlfriend relationship with a suitor. Say you have a date tonight and another suitor (not the one your going out with tonight) ask what are your plans tonight? What do you say? A) going on a date B) going out C) going out with a friend D) none of your business nosey (kissy emoji) E) lie F) insert custom answer Bonus question 1. Have you ever answered A and how did your suitor take it? Bonus question 2. Have anyone you were talking to while single and dating ever answered A and how did you take it? Did you stop talking to them anymore because of it or maybe saw them differently? Look forward to your responses
Normm Posted January 21, 2019 Posted January 21, 2019 No need to lie and no need to be forthcoming. "I have other plans tonight". End of story. PS it's "you're" not "your". 4
Author Curiousroxy86 Posted January 21, 2019 Author Posted January 21, 2019 No need to lie and no need to be forthcoming. "I have other plans tonight". End of story. PS it's "you're" not "your". Isn't you're means you are. "What are you are plans tonight"? Doesn't make sense to me but hey I am not a grammar queen. They asked what are your plans tonight and you would say I have other plans tonight? Lol ok. Thank you for responding 1
frus69 Posted January 21, 2019 Posted January 21, 2019 I will answer C. I never got an answer A and if I got an answer A,depends. If I never went out with him it'd be a big turn off and I'd not pursue anything but if he was very keen i'd give it a shot. If we already went out on dates then it'd be a deal breaker for me
Author Curiousroxy86 Posted January 21, 2019 Author Posted January 21, 2019 No need to lie and no need to be forthcoming. "I have other plans tonight". End of story. PS it's "you're" not "your". Oh I see. That does work for the sentence "You are dating". Lol don't judge me
Author Curiousroxy86 Posted January 21, 2019 Author Posted January 21, 2019 I will answer C. I never got an answer A and if I got an answer A,depends. If I never went out with him it'd be a big turn off and I'd not pursue anything but if he was very keen i'd give it a shot. If we already went out on dates then it'd be a deal breaker for me Thank you for answering. Do you normally communicate with a person your talking to that you expect exclusivity once go out on dates or do you expect them to be exclusive without saying anything?
basil67 Posted January 21, 2019 Posted January 21, 2019 Isn't you're means you are. "What are you are plans tonight"? Doesn't make sense to me but hey I am not a grammar queen. They asked what are your plans tonight and you would say I have other plans tonight? Lol ok. Thank you for responding I don't think there's a good way to get around the multi dating thing. Because I'm not in the US, I'm one of those who wouldn't multi date and wouldn't accept someone who was. If they are unavailable and don't offer up a reason why in conversation, then I would assume they are multi dating and strongly consider moving on. Also, you are correct that you're means 'you are'. Therefore, it would fit perfectly in the following sentences "Say your single and dating. Your dating multiple people"
frus69 Posted January 21, 2019 Posted January 21, 2019 Thank you for answering. Do you normally communicate with a person your talking to that you expect exclusivity once go out on dates or do you expect them to be exclusive without saying anything? I dont expect exclusivity but that doesnt mean I want to hear about it. Just like I wouldnt rub it on guy's face that Im seeing other guys, I also dont want them to tell me that. It makes me feel he doesnt care about my feelings AT ALL. Because no one likes to hear things like that. 1
Author Curiousroxy86 Posted January 21, 2019 Author Posted January 21, 2019 I don't think there's a good way to get around the multi dating thing. Because I'm not in the US, I'm one of those who wouldn't multi date and wouldn't accept someone who was. If they are unavailable and don't offer up a reason why in conversation, then I would assume they are multi dating and strongly consider moving on. Also, you are correct that you're means 'you are'. Therefore, it would fit perfectly in the following sentences "Say your single and dating. Your dating multiple people" I was going to ask the same question do you communicate this standard. But im getting the impression you use the choice to multi date as a screening tool so to speak. Like how I wouldn't date a guy that uses drugs you wouldn't date a person who chooses to multi date. No need to talk about it. Atleast That's how I'm understanding your view. Correct me if I'm wrong. And I'll be honest my posts wouldn't have any apostrophes. Either My phone or loveshack not sure which one is automatically putting those on lmao. So y'all would have read much much worse 1
Author Curiousroxy86 Posted January 21, 2019 Author Posted January 21, 2019 I dont expect exclusivity but that doesnt mean I want to hear about it. Just like I wouldnt rub it on guy's face that Im seeing other guys, I also dont want them to tell me that. It makes me feel he doesnt care about my feelings AT ALL. Because no one likes to hear things like that. Lol who says honesty is the best policy
Author Curiousroxy86 Posted January 21, 2019 Author Posted January 21, 2019 I dont expect exclusivity but that doesnt mean I want to hear about it. Just like I wouldnt rub it on guy's face that Im seeing other guys, I also dont want them to tell me that. It makes me feel he doesnt care about my feelings AT ALL. Because no one likes to hear things like that. I do agree that I wouldn't rub it in a guys face. I wouldn't want to know either. But if he was up front though I wouldn't like it I don't think I would stop talking to him all together if I myself am multi dating. But then again my pride could kick in and make me a total hypocrite and choose to not talk to him all together.
frus69 Posted January 21, 2019 Posted January 21, 2019 Lol who says honesty is the best policy Honesty is the best policy in a somewhat established relationship/friendship. But when you just meet someone,why tell the truth and hurt their feelings for no purpose? What's there to gain? It's not like I have to tell the truth otherwise I'm stringing them along.. Also I dont multi date if I'm seeing someone for more than 2 dates.
frus69 Posted January 21, 2019 Posted January 21, 2019 I do agree that I wouldn't rub it in a guys face. I wouldn't want to know either. But if he was up front though I wouldn't like it I don't think I would stop talking to him all together if I myself am multi dating. But then again my pride could kick in and make me a total hypocrite and choose to not talk to him all together. I think if you feel strong enough about someone, you wouldnt want to see other guys anymore. For me, it only takes 1 or 2 dates to feel the spark and I'd expect him to be the same. So if he tells me he is still seeing other people, then he's not keen enough its not my liking. Although I dont talk about exclusivity, I'm fairly certain all guys I've dated got exclusive with me fairly quickly because I take up lots of their time(I need text every day and dates every week lol I honestly dont think they have the energy to entertain other women and working fulling time!) Things may frizzle out in the end though, but that's off topic.
snowboy91 Posted January 21, 2019 Posted January 21, 2019 I'd say I'm busy or have plans, and suggest another night that works for me. If they ask I'll say I'm seeing a friend. 2
Khaysha92 Posted January 21, 2019 Posted January 21, 2019 Personally I'd say C although the I tend not to mulitidate I've had a guy say A to me in the past. I can't remember the situation but I'm guessing I asked him if he had dated anybody recently and he said he was meeting somebody on the weekend and how well they had been getting on lol I think it was very odd for him to tell me that but I wished him luck. He continued to talk to me afterwards but I'd already lost interest by this point.
I'veseenbetterlol Posted January 21, 2019 Posted January 21, 2019 I dont expect exclusivity but that doesnt mean I want to hear about it. Just like I wouldnt rub it on guy's face that Im seeing other guys, I also dont want them to tell me that. It makes me feel he doesnt care about my feelings AT ALL. Because no one likes to hear things like that. Yep. I once had a guy tell me how he went out w/another chick. In this case I never saw him as more then a friend if we were sharing out dating experiences w/other people. Say you are busy, none of his business what you are actually doing. There is nothing wrong w/multi dating if you are not exclusive.
Author Curiousroxy86 Posted January 21, 2019 Author Posted January 21, 2019 I think if you feel strong enough about someone, you wouldnt want to see other guys anymore. For me, it only takes 1 or 2 dates to feel the spark and I'd expect him to be the same. So if he tells me he is still seeing other people, then he's not keen enough its not my liking. Although I dont talk about exclusivity, I'm fairly certain all guys I've dated got exclusive with me fairly quickly because I take up lots of their time(I need text every day and dates every week lol I honestly dont think they have the energy to entertain other women and working fulling time!) Things may frizzle out in the end though, but that's off topic. lol I'm like you except I need calls everyday and dates every week for me to consider him winning. As far as me choosing to focus on one guy before exclusivity would more so be the suitor who stands out from the rest by him on his own calling me everyday and seeing me every week taking both of my off days. I can't and won't squeeze another suitor in if the winning suitor taking up both off days every week lol. He acting like a boyfriend before asking to be my boyfriend so it would make sense to focus. And in my experience the guy who calls everyday and sees me every week normally ends up asking to be my boyfriend in which I say yes. I have had guys who ask me out on a 2nd date but there contact was inconsistent or even asking for that second date wasn't within a week or two week time. I can't focus on that guy who is too flaky or inconsistent. I need to see consistency before I focus.
Author Curiousroxy86 Posted January 21, 2019 Author Posted January 21, 2019 Personally I'd say C although the I tend not to mulitidate I've had a guy say A to me in the past. I can't remember the situation but I'm guessing I asked him if he had dated anybody recently and he said he was meeting somebody on the weekend and how well they had been getting on lol I think it was very odd for him to tell me that but I wished him luck. He continued to talk to me afterwards but I'd already lost interest by this point. Lol whaaaat? Yea that would turn me off if he talks about how well they had been progressing. I would feel friend zoned instead of a potential love interest.
Author Curiousroxy86 Posted January 21, 2019 Author Posted January 21, 2019 Can't do tonight. But what if the suitor is asking what are you doing tonight as not to ask you out but just making small talk like what you doing or what are you up to?
frus69 Posted January 21, 2019 Posted January 21, 2019 lol I'm like you except I need calls everyday and dates every week for me to consider him winning. . Funny cuz calling me everyday is going to turn me off haha
Andy_K Posted January 21, 2019 Posted January 21, 2019 But what if the suitor is asking what are you doing tonight as not to ask you out but just making small talk like what you doing or what are you up to? Unlikely this would ever happen to me given that I avoid multidating, but if somehow it did then I wouldn't want to lie, so I'd instead probably mention something else I would also be doing that evening before or after the date, maybe reading, watching some TV, gym, studying, etc.
Wallysbears Posted January 21, 2019 Posted January 21, 2019 I never accepted a date for the same day. Not until a relationship and exclusivity was established. “I can’t, I have plans” (Those “plans” could have been sitting on my couch in my yoga pants watching Netflix with a bottle of wine and take out pizza)
Author Curiousroxy86 Posted January 21, 2019 Author Posted January 21, 2019 Some of the responses seem to assume the suitor is asking you out. When a suitor asks "what are you doing tonight" I don't automatically assume he is trying to see me that night unless he says "hey can I take you out tonight". Not assuming Him: what are you doing tonight Me: going to see the new Marvel movie Him: oh ok let me know if it's good! Assuming af Him: what are you doing tonight Me: sorry I already have plans or I don't accept same night date Him: what? I was just asking what you doing. I wasn't trying to see you tonight lol. Don't get me wrong when I simply answer not assuming some do try to see me that night but some just carrying conversation 1
Mrs._December Posted January 21, 2019 Posted January 21, 2019 I get what you're saying - he asked conversationally what you were doing that night, he didn't ask if you have plans because he wanted to take you out. And you're asking, if you have plans to date another guy that night, what do you TELL this guy who's asking you about your plans? I would just say I'm going out with a friend. That's all you need to say. You don't need to be any more specific than that. 1
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