Boyfriend ask for space how long should girlfriend wait?

[Curiousroxy86]

Sorry Roxy, but this hypothetical woman is a doormat if she obeys immediately without a reason. If he can't even communicate a reason, then she shouldn't bother waiting for him at all.

 

No need to apologize.

 

I would definitely think of the gf a doormat if she agrees to give him space for as long as he needs while she waits till he comes back around no matter how long

 

Eff that

 

But if she is just the type to understand that sometimes men need space and is okay with that and doesn't need to know the details and trust he is not doing dirt and as long as he comes back at a time line she is comfortable with less she will leave. I don't think that would make a gf a doormat.

 

Me personally I would be the latter if he is an otherwise good boyfriend. If I got the sense he is on some sketchy sh*t I have and would just pull the plug lol.

[Curiousroxy86]

He might not mean it as a breakup, but I personally wouldn't give him the power either way. He wants space - done. He's got space. You've got your freedom. If he comes back later you can evaluate your feelings then.

 

I'm probably a lot older than you - I just don't feel like wasting my time waiting on someone else to decide what's going on in my life, been there done that.

 

In my experience with that ex he didn't mean it as a breakup but I took it as a opportunity to do so lol. I felt like he was on some bull due to other signs smh. I felt exactly how you described.

[basil67]

But if she is just the type to understand that sometimes men need space and is okay with that and doesn't need to know the details and trust he is not doing dirt and as long as he comes back at a time line she is comfortable with less she will leave. I don't think that would make a gf a doormat.

 

Me personally I would be the latter if he is an otherwise good boyfriend. If I got the sense he is on some sketchy sh*t I have and would just pull the plug lol.

 

I've never had a boyfriend need space, so I see it as a thing which affects men who have poor coping skills. But it's not a general man thing.

[d0nnivain]

Space makes things worse not better. When 2 people in a relationship have a problem, they need to work together to iron it out. However, if they don't live together they both need 1-2 days a week apart to get the lives sorted. People still have to grocery shop, do laundry etc.

 

In your opinion smackie what should gfs timeline be if

 

A) need space out the blue, everything seem to be going well from what she thought, and he is not communicating his reason just needs it and is making it clear he is not breaking up

 

B) need space because they don't see eye to eye and have been arguing

 

C) need space because claims work has been stressful

 

D) need space because death in his family

 

E) need space because he is unsure of the relationship and need to sort out his feelings

 

In your examples:

 

A. All the space in the world because it is a break up. There is another woman or he wants there to be.

 

B. 1-2 days but I'd be the peacemaker.

 

C. None. I would offer to take some life stuff off his plate. Show up & do his laundry or clean his house. Put a casserole in the 'fridge etc.

 

D. None. I'd be right there holding him, letting him grieve.

 

E. Maybe 1 day before I forced a conversation. I'd rather break up then limbo.

[Lotsgoingon]

There are two types of "space."

 

Space #1: The person needs to skip hanging out in person for a bit because they have an important (time-limited) work project or crisis of some sort. Daily texting and phone calls (even if short) continue with this kind of "space." Closeness continues.

 

Space #2: The person wants to disappear and not be in contact ... There is no texting or limited texting or talking during this period. There is not closeness during this time. The other partner does NOT know what's going on.

 

I assume you're talking Space #2, and if I'm right, I say don't wait at all. He's not that not into. I have never asked for space other than when dating someone who I wasn't that into. No one I've dated has ever asked for space from me without soon dumping me when the "space" period was over.

 

Asking for space is a contradiction in terms. A relationship is about making life easier ... If he needs space, he's saying time with you is work, not fun--an exhausting errand, not joy.

 

You can wait, but I guarantee you'll be dumped ... that is if he returns at all. He might well announce at the end of "space," that the relationship isn't working for him.

 

In my experience, people asking for space (and silence) ... have usually been iffy or distant before asking for space.

 

Hate to tell you, but likely this relationship is over. And that's not an insult to you. You actually don't want someone who needs "space" from you.

[Whodatdog]

Sounds suspiciously like boyfriend found someone else he's interested in, or he's just done with the relationship and doesnt want to hurt his girfriends feelings. People ask for space when they dont want to be with someone anymore, for whatever reason.