joe_35 Posted January 18, 2019 Posted January 18, 2019 It has always been my understanding that when girls go out with their friends they like to dress up. When I say dress up, I mean wear something that they look cute/hot/sexy in (dress, skirt, heels, crop tops, etc.) regardless of if they are single or not. I’ve been with my current gf for almost 4 months now and she often does this, but I never really have seen it as an issue. Yeah I might get a little jealous, but again I always thought girls just enjoy doing that(especially with their girlfriends) and would just remind myself that it was nothing. However, recently I keep coming across people, whether it be on social media or in person, saying that it may suggest that she is putting herself out there, as in seeking some male attention. I assumed most of the people saying these things were just insecure guys, but to be honest it may have gotten to me a bit. I have never brought up the topic to my gf, but is it something that I should be concerned about? Like I said, I kinda assumed that the people saying that this behavior is a red flag are just super insecure guys, so maybe some female opinions may help here(or guys who have had similar experiences). I never ever want to be that guy who tells his gf what to wear, but if it is something that I should address with my gf, how do I bring it up without coming off as insecure or controlling? Thanks !
Garcon1986 Posted January 18, 2019 Posted January 18, 2019 You are right that most women find looking fashionable to be some kind of a past time just like gentlemen will play polo or go sailing. I would watch her actions and see if she is looking for other men PLUS taking action on it. Otherwise don't worry about it and simultaneously remind her she is hot and spicy crispy chicken fo sheezy. She also wants your attention and adoration, if you don't give that to her, she will definitely look elsewhere.
Curiousroxy86 Posted January 18, 2019 Posted January 18, 2019 It has always been my understanding that when girls go out with their friends they like to dress up. When I say dress up, I mean wear something that they look cute/hot/sexy in (dress, skirt, heels, crop tops, etc.) regardless of if they are single or not. I’ve been with my current gf for almost 4 months now and she often does this, but I never really have seen it as an issue. Yeah I might get a little jealous, but again I always thought girls just enjoy doing that(especially with their girlfriends) and would just remind myself that it was nothing. However, recently I keep coming across people, whether it be on social media or in person, saying that it may suggest that she is putting herself out there, as in seeking some male attention. I assumed most of the people saying these things were just insecure guys, but to be honest it may have gotten to me a bit. I have never brought up the topic to my gf, but is it something that I should be concerned about? Like I said, I kinda assumed that the people saying that this behavior is a red flag are just super insecure guys, so maybe some female opinions may help here(or guys who have had similar experiences). I never ever want to be that guy who tells his gf what to wear, but if it is something that I should address with my gf, how do I bring it up without coming off as insecure or controlling? Thanks ! I wouldn't sweat it too much if she always dress like that. When y'all met did she dress like that? And when you take her out does she dress like that? I would only be concerned if when she go out with her girls she looking sexy but every time you take her out she not looking sexy for you. But if she look sexy for you and she look sexy when she out with her girls then she could just be the type of girl that just likes to look sexy. If that's the case don't worry about it .
ExpatInItaly Posted January 18, 2019 Posted January 18, 2019 I'm a woman. On the odd night that I go out with friends, I like to get gussied up. I'm a very girly-girl in that sense, so I enjoy the process of doing the hair, makeup, nails, and nice outfit. It's not my style to wear particularly revealing things anyway, but I will throw on a nice dress and heels if the occasion calls for it. I'm also deeply committed to my partner and not on the hunt whatsoever. For many women, it's a way of making ourselves feel good and polished. It's fun. If there is no other behavior to suggest your girl is looking for guys, then you are over-thinking it. 1
doyathinkso Posted January 18, 2019 Posted January 18, 2019 Joe it looks to me like she's not as serious about you as you are about her. You are just the branch she happens to be holding onto right now. Meanwhile, she is shopping around for what she considers to be a better branch. Does she come home smelling of men's cologne? Head straight for the shower?
Interstellar Posted January 18, 2019 Posted January 18, 2019 What’s her age? How often does she do it? Is it everytime? Is it totally sexy and revealing? It’s okay to FEEL jealous because you’re not a robot BUT don’t verbalize it to her because you’ll come off as insecure. Anyway, how does she treat you? How long have you been dating? Does she treat you well? Is she loyal or has she given you anything to be suspicious about?
d0nnivain Posted January 18, 2019 Posted January 18, 2019 You are right -- her wardrobe is about her enjoying what she looks like & feeling confident. It's not an advertisement that she's looking to cheat. There is not requirement that a taken woman wear sack cloth & ashes when out in public. Her wardrobe is not an outward manifestation of her moral or ethical character. If you truly must say something I'd go with a cutesy admission that you are jealous that people other than you get to see her looking all hot & sexy. Make your confession more like an invitation . . . come over when you are done with your friends for a late night booty call. 1
ShadeOfGreen Posted January 18, 2019 Posted January 18, 2019 I think people can express themselves with their fashion, and maintain a healthy relationship. Dressing good feels good. Just because someone puts on things to look hot doesn't in itself mean they want to get hit on. What matters is their behavior, and how they interact with others. Have you seen behavior that bothers you, or is it more feeling insecure that other guys will think your girlfriend is hot? You have a right to feel insecure about it, but place responsibility on yourself to consider the overall picture. Challenge yourself to not make wrong assumptions based on what others say she might be doing. Take into account how she actually treats you, and how she respects the boundaries of your relationship. Do these things, and you may find that your feelings of insecurity dwindle.
FMW Posted January 18, 2019 Posted January 18, 2019 If she was seeking attention from other men you would probably see that yourself, when you are with her in public. You would see her looking at and smiling at other guys. You would notice her getting texts or calls. If the way she dresses when she goes out with her friends is the only concern you have, then I agree with the majority of the posters - she's just having fun dressing up and being with her girlfriends.
Rockdad Posted January 18, 2019 Posted January 18, 2019 Girls dress foremost for other women or for themselves. We guys come in distant 3rd in my experience. No don't bring it up to your girlfriend. You are still new in this relationship. Jealousy and/or insecurity is not a good card to show. 1
smackie9 Posted January 18, 2019 Posted January 18, 2019 Of course it's going to draw attention to her...and it's flattering/ego boosting to have guys hit on you BUT it doesn't mean she's going to act upon any of that. Girls like to feel pretty, and bond with their girlies when they go out. No different than the boys all hanging out checkin out the T & A in the bar, bragging what they would do and all the crap. As the saying goes, it's ok to look at what's on the menu, just don't place an order. 1
manfrombelow2 Posted January 19, 2019 Posted January 19, 2019 Reality Check for OP: Women like to dress nice ("nice" here also means sexy and appealing) because they... LIKE TO DRESS NICE. That's it. And, may I remind you, the fact that you are raising these concerns inside your head shows that you are somehow getting insecured and jealous in the relationship with your woman, and if you don't do anything about this, these "seeds" will grow into bigger forests of further problems that will EVENTUALLY DESTROY your relationship all together. To me, a woman is NEVER my PROPERTY. So even if my woman wants to go out naked, it's her choice and I cannot do anything about it but to accept and respect her choice. So, OP, just be cool, be centered and be the mountain for your woman. Do not fear losing her because what we fear always becomes true, and what we look over always disappear. Be fearless. Be alpha. 1
Hopeful30 Posted January 23, 2019 Posted January 23, 2019 Nonsense! Women want to look good because women want to look good. Stop assuming we do what we do because of men. 1
SmartDude Posted January 23, 2019 Posted January 23, 2019 I have never known any woman to be honest on this subject. Yes, of course they are dressing up to sexually attract men. That is the whole point of women's clothing. Its not fuctional and made for the weather is it? Women get a boost of confidence and energy from men checking them out. And what is wrong with it? Can't expect a woman to be attracted to just one man her whole life, that is too much to ask.
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