barneydin Posted January 16, 2019 Posted January 16, 2019 I am dating a much younger girl, she is 22 and I am 32. She is a very attractive, sweet and caring person. I enjoy spending time with her. But my problem is that all my previous partners were around my age and had careers and lots of interests, whereas she is just finishing her undergroudate degree and has no hobbies whatsoever. Literally, she comes back from Uni to watch Netflix, and goes out on the weekends with her friends. That's it. That is her life. She doesn't even have a job. And while this doesn't really bother me now, I am wondering if this is going to be a problem once the infatuation ends. I have loads of hobbies, work a lot, have solid plans for the future. Have you ever experienced anything like this? Is this an age thing? Is it going to be a problem?
ExpatInItaly Posted January 16, 2019 Posted January 16, 2019 I am dating a much younger girl, she is 22 and I am 32. She is a very attractive, sweet and caring person. I enjoy spending time with her. But my problem is that all my previous partners were around my age and had careers and lots of interests, whereas she is just finishing her undergroudate degree and has no hobbies whatsoever. Literally, she comes back from Uni to watch Netflix, and goes out on the weekends with her friends. That's it. That is her life. She doesn't even have a job. And while this doesn't really bother me now, I am wondering if this is going to be a problem once the infatuation ends. I have loads of hobbies, work a lot, have solid plans for the future.] I'd say it looks like it is already bothering you. Your wording gives it away. I wouldn't hold it against her too much that she doesn't yet have a job, given that she's still finishing her degree. That's not so unusual and will likely change when she graduates. You both seem like pretty normal people, relative to your age groups. And therein lies the problem - you're at different points in your lives. While this sort of age difference can work, I think you're going to find the challenges difficult. She is just barely in her 20s, when most are not ready to settle down and seriously commit. She hasn't yet had her first real work experience, hasn't claimed her independence yet, probably hasn't dated around too much before, doesn't know which direction her life will take. All of that is yet to come for her, whereas you (presumably) have been there and done that. The girl I was at 22 is a far cry from the woman I had grown into at 32. The question is whether you want to go along for that ride. She might be a lovely person, but I am not sure you should hold your breath for anything serious developing here. 1
Osho Posted January 16, 2019 Posted January 16, 2019 Loving the perspective placed above. Only thing I can say is that I’ve been in your shoes. In the end I’ve affected her life more than she’ll admit and she has affected my life more than I can say. If I would have chose to pursue logic instead of how I felt I wouldn’t be half the man I am today. I wouldn’t even know myself even remotely as I do now. I wouldn’t ever trade all the bad that came out of that decision knowing I would lose all the gains that came from it. We’re not together anymore but both much further along because of it.
2much4 Posted January 16, 2019 Posted January 16, 2019 You sound a bit condescending. Especially the way you mention she doesnt even have a job and only watches netflix makes it clear you think she's kind of a lazy good for nothing....why be with someone you don't respect. 6
elaine567 Posted January 16, 2019 Posted January 16, 2019 You sound a bit condescending. Especially the way you mention she doesnt even have a job and only watches netflix makes it clear you think she's kind of a lazy good for nothing....why be with someone you don't respect. I guess a small three letter word that starts with S and ends with X... 4
lurker74 Posted January 16, 2019 Posted January 16, 2019 The number of years between the two of you isn't that great. But the particular years are enormous. The difference between me at 22 and me at 32 was huge! That is what you are experiencing. I'd say stick with it until the pain exceeds the joy. Why do I say that? Because that is what EVERYONE should do. 1
Noproblem Posted January 16, 2019 Posted January 16, 2019 Just leave her now before you commit into a relationship where you are the sole provider and entertainer to someone who sits on her couch all day & gains weight while producing more babies.
stillafool Posted January 16, 2019 Posted January 16, 2019 (edited) I am dating a much younger girl, she is 22 and I am 32. She is a very attractive, sweet and caring person. I enjoy spending time with her. But my problem is that all my previous partners were around my age and had careers and lots of interests, whereas she is just finishing her undergroudate degree and has no hobbies whatsoever. Literally, she comes back from Uni to watch Netflix, and goes out on the weekends with her friends. That's it. That is her life. She doesn't even have a job. And while this doesn't really bother me now, I am wondering if this is going to be a problem once the infatuation ends. I have loads of hobbies, work a lot, have solid plans for the future. Have you ever experienced anything like this? Is this an age thing? Is it going to be a problem? I have a younger niece who is lazy as hell that I enjoy spending time with also . However I only see her once a month or so. Why do you have to date this girl if she's so lazy? Just make her a friend. However after reading over some of your past threads I saw where you said to some men looks are more important than personality; so with that mindset your chick's laziness is the price you will have to pay for her looks. At least you got what you most value out of the deal. Edited January 16, 2019 by stillafool 1
2much4 Posted January 16, 2019 Posted January 16, 2019 Why is your age different in all your threads? Last year you were 27 now you're 32? 4
stillafool Posted January 16, 2019 Posted January 16, 2019 why is your age different in all your threads? Last year you were 27 now you're 32? omg, lol, lmao! 2
olivetree Posted January 16, 2019 Posted January 16, 2019 Why is your age different in all your threads? Last year you were 27 now you're 32? Lolol. Nice catch.
Author barneydin Posted January 16, 2019 Author Posted January 16, 2019 Why is your age different in all your threads? Last year you were 27 now you're 32? Sorry guys, my age is around those numbers, not to put real information out on the Internet as I have a semi-public job. Next time I'll write around that age as not to confuse anyone.
smackie9 Posted January 16, 2019 Posted January 16, 2019 it's not age, it's a difference in maturity....why bring this up if you are not worried about it? If the clock is ticking for you, stop dating young girls with no ambition. And don't expect miracles....it will be years before she grows out of this stage.
preraph Posted January 16, 2019 Posted January 16, 2019 Yeah, that's what young people do. That's why it's hard to have an age gap from a mature 30-something back to someone who is little more than a teenager mentally. Her brain isn't even fully developed until a few more years. You'd do better to at least date over 25 at your age. I briefly dated a young guy in my 30s and ran into the same type things. Number 1, he was always broke. Number 2, he had just moved from another state, first time not living with his mother, best I could tell and perfectly happy to do nothing except sit around with the apartment door open and let anyone passing by who was idle come in and party. Just too young. That's all.
Lotsgoingon Posted January 16, 2019 Posted January 16, 2019 Hmmm ... are your surprised that there are young women who are pretty and absolutely uninteresting to date? If you wanna date younger people, you want young people on fire ... whose lives impress the heck outta you. Your thread title makes clear that you have nothing really in common with this woman.
edgygirl Posted January 17, 2019 Posted January 17, 2019 And that's why I don't get men who date younger women... I mean, I do get it... yeah they're pretty. Good for you. There is usually a mental connection missing. Oh, but biology, right? They want a woman who's fertile. Great, get your fertile uninteresting woman then. Meh... And the older men who usually come to LS and keep pointing how biology is the main thing in attraction seem to forget this "side" detail. That being said, I was infinitely more mentally interesting at 30 than I was at 20. It's just the way it is. If you're willing to wait... 2
basil67 Posted January 17, 2019 Posted January 17, 2019 How does she pay for her social life without a job? Seems like she must be sponging off someone...
Eternal Sunshine Posted January 17, 2019 Posted January 17, 2019 I find hanging around people in early-mid 20s painful. I can’t even imagine how older men can even consider a relationship with them. 1
Lotsgoingon Posted January 17, 2019 Posted January 17, 2019 I remember when I got a thing for a much younger woman ... I told my brother ... and he had the wisdom to tell me ... Man, if you spent 24 hours around this person, you would see how immature they are ... and you'd come back to reality. I actually imagined spending a full day with this person ... and cracked up laughing. I got over my thing for this woman. 1
Curiousroxy86 Posted January 18, 2019 Posted January 18, 2019 I am dating a much younger girl, she is 22 and I am 32. She is a very attractive, sweet and caring person. I enjoy spending time with her. But my problem is that all my previous partners were around my age and had careers and lots of interests, whereas she is just finishing her undergroudate degree and has no hobbies whatsoever. Literally, she comes back from Uni to watch Netflix, and goes out on the weekends with her friends. That's it. That is her life. She doesn't even have a job. And while this doesn't really bother me now, I am wondering if this is going to be a problem once the infatuation ends. I have loads of hobbies, work a lot, have solid plans for the future. Have you ever experienced anything like this? Is this an age thing? Is it going to be a problem? If I were in your shoes I would enjoy the company but be realistic about what you see and also remain considerate to her then act accordingly. Is it a problem for you that her hobbies is Netflix and friends? If that's her only flaw I personally wouldn't crucify her . But for you if you have lost respect then the right thing is to let her go. She is caring and sweet like you say she don't need or deserve anybody looking down on her like that. Now if you decide you can accept hey go ahead and continue getting to know this girl and have fun dating her. If y'all start to not see eye to eye on important things. Maybe she starts acting immature when it comes to resolving a conflict then you need to let it go. Right now I don't see a reason to let her go based on what you said about her so far and how I would personally let go of a person. You have to decide what your boundaries are.
ElKay Posted January 18, 2019 Posted January 18, 2019 I'm dating someone 11 years older than me and he's the best bf I've had so far. I'm 27, though, so I'm settled in with a good career and have some life experience. I think your age difference won't be so prominent later in life, but at her current age, she needs time to learn things for herself. Also, if she doesn't have hobbies and you have a ton, why not show her some and see if she'd be interested in them?
stillafool Posted January 18, 2019 Posted January 18, 2019 And that's why I don't get men who date younger women... I mean, I do get it... yeah they're pretty. Good for you. There is usually a mental connection missing. Oh, but biology, right? They want a woman who's fertile. Great, get your fertile uninteresting woman then. Meh... And the older men who usually come to LS and keep pointing how biology is the main thing in attraction seem to forget this "side" detail. That being said, I was infinitely more mentally interesting at 30 than I was at 20. It's just the way it is. If you're willing to wait... I agree but men don't feel this way. I talked to an older guy yesterday who is dating a woman 23 years younger and I asked him "don't you miss stimulating adult conversations?" and he said "No, I'd rather have a hot face and body to look at." Wow, this guy is an attorney.
smackie9 Posted January 18, 2019 Posted January 18, 2019 Ya she's a piece of meat for some good slamming. If he wants stimulating conversation he can talk to his colleagues. I'm sure she's in it for what's in his wallet. So it's a fair trade.
edgygirl Posted January 18, 2019 Posted January 18, 2019 (edited) I think it depends on the man. There are all types of men. Men who fell for me throughout, no matter how good looking or young I was, always fell for my personality. I never liked superficial men, and I am sure tons of men do want a brain on the other side of bed. I agree but men don't feel this way. I talked to an older guy yesterday who is dating a woman 23 years younger and I asked him "don't you miss stimulating adult conversations?" and he said "No, I'd rather have a hot face and body to look at." Wow, this guy is an attorney. Edited January 19, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator fixed quote
Tamfana Posted January 18, 2019 Posted January 18, 2019 I agree but men don't feel this way. I talked to an older guy yesterday who is dating a woman 23 years younger and I asked him "don't you miss stimulating adult conversations?" and he said "No, I'd rather have a hot face and body to look at." Wow, this guy is an attorney. Many men do. Bill Gates and Steve Jobs, for instance, both married women who were accomplished in their own right. It depends upon what type of connection you want with a partner. Sex and hotness are enough for some people, men and women.
Recommended Posts