sanne Posted September 16, 2005 Posted September 16, 2005 Ok so I met up with an old friend I hadn't seen in almost two years (since she was away overseas). There has always been a little sexual tension between us (her words), but nothing ever happened. Anyways, over dinner we were talking about sex and all sorts of things and she mentioned how she once had a six-hour sex session. Well after dinner she invited me over to have a beer at her place, but I told her it'd be better to just come over to my place. We were watching tv and drinking a few beers, but unfortunately she had to go back home around 11:30 or so because she has work tomorrow morning. I sent her the following txt message after I got home from dropping her off "i'm curious to see what a six hour sex session would be like...". she replied, "i had a feeling you were". to which i replied, "well maybe i'll get lucky and find out one of these days". and she didn't reply back at all. so does this mean she isn't interested, or did i come on too strong, because i'm having a hard time reading this girl.
RainyDayWoman Posted September 16, 2005 Posted September 16, 2005 maybe she didn't think it would be this easy, and now she's thinking over her next response. she may not want to bang you right this minute, but she doesn't want to be a tease either. or, maybe she did reply and you didn't get it...that happens a lot, too. you can always send another saying "sorry if i came on too strong. there's no pressure really, please don't be offended." any girl who tells a guy intimate details like that knows what he'll be thinking...which is why she tells him in the first place. she's no dummy, but she probably is a little freaked at the pace it materialized--which isn't your fault.
megabit15 Posted September 17, 2005 Posted September 17, 2005 Maybe she just wants to flirt, maybe she's interested, maybe she just likes knowing that someone finds her attractive. A lot of times a woman will flirt with a guy she is interested in, but be offended if she feels he considers her 'just sex'. Back off a bit, contact her in a couple of days, keep it light, see if she wants to go to a movie or dinner, etc. You may want to address your message to her if there is that dead air between you that needs to be cleared, or you or her are uncomfortable with what you said. If she declines your offer for company, then perhaps you do need to say something. You might want to wait before mentioning a six hour sex session again
Author sanne Posted September 17, 2005 Author Posted September 17, 2005 yea i'm definitely going to wait until she contacts me next. i think she knows i was pretty drunk so i doubt she would be offended by such a comment. anyways, i was just looking for a woman's opinion on all of this. i'll update and let you guys know how it goes.
Author sanne Posted September 20, 2005 Author Posted September 20, 2005 so today I called and left a message asking if she wanted to go see a movie or hangout sometime this week. i sent her the message around 3:30 PM or so and didn't hear anything from her before going to the gym at 5 PM. so i'm at the gym and lo and behold I see her there. she tells me she just got my message and she was going to send me a message back saying that "yea sure we can go see a movie or whatever". my problem with this girl is that I just cannot read her. she gives no hints either way as to how she feels and it's driving me nuts. well i'm going to call her tomorrow and set everything up and see how it goes.
ReluctantRomeo Posted September 20, 2005 Posted September 20, 2005 As long as she is still being friendly and responsive, you haven't blown it. I'd back off a little though, and make sure she is taking 50% of the initiative. And don't bring up sex again until she does.
Cecelius Posted September 20, 2005 Posted September 20, 2005 Personally, I think it was going two ways: 1) Some girls talk about sex and don't have any interest in you at all. Any moves you made were shot down and now she's just hoping you get the message. 2) (more likely) She talked about sex because she wanted you to put your moves on her. She wanted you to take control, and you didn't. The excuse to leave your place was just that -- she was walking out the door and she wanted you to be a man and stop her, rather then sending weak text messages and offering movies. She wanted you to start something, but she is, like many women, insecure about her own sexual feelings and NEEDS you to take the lead. WHen you fail to, she gets embarrassed and feels that you are not as rough, tough and in control as she wants. The only thing you can do now is back WAY off -- no more contact unless she contacts you. And if she opens the door again, step in.
RainyDayWoman Posted September 20, 2005 Posted September 20, 2005 As long as she is still being friendly and responsive, you haven't blown it. I'd back off a little though, and make sure she is taking 50% of the initiative. And don't bring up sex again until she does. i think reluctant romeo is right on target.
ReluctantRomeo Posted September 20, 2005 Posted September 20, 2005 i think reluctant romeo is right on target. Thanks! Some days one needs a good boost
Author sanne Posted September 21, 2005 Author Posted September 21, 2005 called her up today to see if she wanted to check out a movie tonight, she didn't pick up so i left a message. she called back saying that she was definitely available tonight and she would like to see a movie. she appeared to be very upbeat and excited. also since we decided on seeing Emily Rose, she said that she was going to be very scared afterwards and would need me there so she wouldn't have to go to sleep scared. i dunno, it seems to me like she's excited. i'll update tomorrow with the results. hopefully all will go well.
bunnygrl07 Posted September 21, 2005 Posted September 21, 2005 she sounds like a flirt to me. i'd say roll with it and play off of whatever vibe you get from her. if you're not sure what the vibe is, be safe and play the gentleman. sounds like she's foward enough to let you know what she wants when she wants it.
Author sanne Posted September 21, 2005 Author Posted September 21, 2005 so we get to the movie theater and watch the last show which is at 10:10 PM. we were the only two people in the entire theater watching the movie. now if this movie wasn't scary, maybe this would have played to my advantage. unfortunately we were both a little on edge and afterwards i wasn't even thinking about anything remotely sexual. we got some coffee and talked a bit, and then i dropped her off home. i'm thinking maybe i picked the wrong movie tonight.......but it's ok I'm in no rush with this at all.
ReluctantRomeo Posted September 21, 2005 Posted September 21, 2005 i'm thinking maybe i picked the wrong movie tonight.......but it's ok I'm in no rush with this at all. Yup. Bunny's advice is good - if you're not sure, be the gentleman. She'll keep for another night. And the anticipation will probably increase her excitement, rather than diminish it. Girls are like that
Author sanne Posted September 21, 2005 Author Posted September 21, 2005 yea well now i guess it's the waiting game from here on out.
Author sanne Posted September 24, 2005 Author Posted September 24, 2005 well haven't talked to her since the movie which was on Tuesday. i haven't even thought about her since today because i've been incredibly busy, and I'm sure she has been busy too. anyways, so I guess the next move is to wait for her to call and make the next move.
RecordProducer Posted September 24, 2005 Posted September 24, 2005 I think she wants more than sex and is afraid that you want just sex. The moot message showed that you are thinking about sex, not love. She didn't like that although she is a sexual person. I personally would be very offended if a guy text messaged me what you did. I would think he is merely after sex and has no style at all. I would never go out with him again after that. IMHO, you should have apologized to her for that. You don't go around and tell women "I want to f*** the sh*t outta ya!" You can only say that to a woman AFTER you've had sex with her. It doesn't matter what she told you about her previous sexual life. Just because I may say "I am a fool" doesn't mean that I will like it if you tell me "you are a fool!"
Author sanne Posted September 24, 2005 Author Posted September 24, 2005 well i'd rather not give her false impressions, because i don't think i'd ever want to be in a relationship with her. we're just not a good fit i guess, as far as a relationship would go. i'd rather not give off those signals to her, and i am being honest and decided i would just go for the gold this time instead of dicking around.
RecordProducer Posted September 24, 2005 Posted September 24, 2005 I admire your honesty. That's how it should be. It's better to have mutually consentual casual sex than use a woman a few times and hurt her feelings. However by going out with her you are giving her hopes that you are relationship material. On the other hand, you don't want to tell her straightforwardly that she shouldn't cherish any hopes about you and her. So eventually you will probably end up having sex and she will expect you to start a relationship and be disappointed. But she's a big girl, she'll live!
Author sanne Posted September 26, 2005 Author Posted September 26, 2005 well haven't heard anything from her since last Tuesday when we hung out. i'm thinking either she's been really busy with stuff or she has lost interest. i dunno it seems like she's excited and we're having a good time when we are together. should i just keep waiting till she calls, or is she expecting me to keep calling her?
Author sanne Posted October 6, 2005 Author Posted October 6, 2005 well i finally got a call from her last sunday. apparently she was extremely sick all of last week and her mom came into town for 3 days so she was extremely busy. she asked me if i wanted to hang out, and we are hanging out tonight. getting drunk, eating chinese take-out, and watching movies at her place. wish me luck
Author sanne Posted October 7, 2005 Author Posted October 7, 2005 well the evening was great and a lot of fun, but alas nothing ended up happening. i finally racked up enough courage to ask her what the deal was in terms of anything happening sexually/romantically with us at the end of the night and I am now thoroughly confused. in her own words she said that us getting together sexually would lead down a treacherous path. she told me how she is worried that if things didn't work out between us that we wouldn't be friends anymore afterwards. she also kept saying, "I never say never", and "if it happens it happens". she also mentioned the fact that she left behind a relationship while she was abroad in the Netherlands and that she was not ready to get into any serious relationships or anything like that. so all in all, my take from everything is that it's pretty much a crapshoot. i think she really enjoys having me as a friend and believes if we starting having sex together it would ultimately complicate and probably end our friendship. i guess I'm not too disappointed, i mean it was nice to hear that she had thought about all of these things beforehand and had heavily considered it, but at the same time it kinda sucks knowing that things will probably not advance past friendship for a while (if ever).
Recommended Posts