Thedubman Posted January 15, 2019 Posted January 15, 2019 (edited) I have been talking to this women for 17 days now. We had a great first date, well she’s been blowing off second dates and it’s been 2 weeks since I seen her in real life. We kissed and made out so she knows I want something romantic, made my intentions clear. I made a similar post about this and I’m done being a doormat for her. I would say she’s not interested but she calls me everyday!!! Is it wrong to call her, even though we only been on 1 date and ask her for a commitment if she’s still serious about seeing if it will workout? A commitment to meet again, not to be exclusive or anything like that. Am I asking to much? I’m at the point that she either commits to a second date or it’s over completely. I need advice. Edited January 15, 2019 by Thedubman
Rayce Posted January 15, 2019 Posted January 15, 2019 Gosh... if I really like a guy and he ask me out on a 2nd date I am not going to put him off. I say cut your loss. 1
smackie9 Posted January 15, 2019 Posted January 15, 2019 I think this thread is not necessary....you got the right advice from the other one. You either just be straight with her, or stop answering those calls. It was one date....if there is no agreement to another date, block/delete....move on.
Redhead14 Posted January 15, 2019 Posted January 15, 2019 "I'm done being a doormat" - Not until you block and delete her number. Pick up the mat and close the door. If a woman hasn't accepted a 2nd date in 17 days, she's not interested in you PERIOD. No amount of overthinking and strategizing is going to change that. Even a woman who is playing the "chase me" game will accept a 2nd date before 17 days have passed. She calls you everyday because she just likes the attention I'd say. Don't give it to her.
chillii Posted January 15, 2019 Posted January 15, 2019 Jesus man 2 weeks and still stalling you. ls there something like kids or some other time reason it's been so long ? lt amazes me these women go making out with someone in just one date then disappear, any woman l'd go for saves that for only someone very special that she saw a future with and it actually means something. So l really don't get it because now you can't even see her again. She mustn't be too damn interested now if you can't even see her. But if you really wanna keep trying and she's calling you every day just ask her wtf it's all about and what the hell she wants out of it. Sounds like she's only interested in friends though. Or somem like that.
Author Thedubman Posted January 15, 2019 Author Posted January 15, 2019 Jesus man 2 weeks and still stalling you. ls there something like kids or some other time reason it's been so long ? lt amazes me these women go making out with someone in just one date then disappear, any woman l'd go for saves that for only someone very special that she saw a future with and it actually means something. So l really don't get it because now you can't even see her again. She mustn't be too damn interested now if you can't even see her. But if you really wanna keep trying and she's calling you every day just ask her wtf it's all about and what the hell she wants out of it. Sounds like she's only interested in friends though. Or somem like that. Yeah she has a two year old with autism. Actually just got off the phone and said she could try to commit to see me Atleast once every couple weeks. She seemed taken back when I brought this up. I got my answer but she seemed quite sad afterwards, I don’t know. This whole situation is completely above my head
Author Thedubman Posted January 15, 2019 Author Posted January 15, 2019 I think she was suprised when I brought up possibly moving on and seemed quite sad the rest of the conversation. Afterwards I texted her I’m happy we’re on the same page and that I miss her. I wouldn’t be surprised if I officially pushed her away.
ChatroomHero Posted January 16, 2019 Posted January 16, 2019 Yeah she has a two year old with autism. Actually just got off the phone and said she could try to commit to see me Atleast once every couple weeks. She seemed taken back when I brought this up. I got my answer but she seemed quite sad afterwards, I don’t know. This whole situation is completely above my head Um, so she kinda sorta could maybe commit to seeing you 12-15 times per year? Maybe, kinda? Gosh, make sure you spend $200 on dinner every time you two go out, she really deserves it! Seriously man, is she like doing you a favor to grace you with her presence? This is like low interest -10 on her part. Your best scenario would be a free night out for her when she is stressed and doesn't have any money. If you think for a second that the 2-3 weeks between maybe, possibly seeing you that she isn't banging other guys, then enjoy. Otherwise you know the score, move on or play the game but don't be surprised by the outcome.
ChatroomHero Posted January 16, 2019 Posted January 16, 2019 I think she was suprised when I brought up possibly moving on and seemed quite sad the rest of the conversation. Afterwards I texted her I’m happy we’re on the same page and that I miss her. I wouldn’t be surprised if I officially pushed her away. Pushed her away from what, already not seeing you? How could you push her away when she is already away and not in pushing distance?
Mrs._December Posted January 16, 2019 Posted January 16, 2019 I think she was suprised when I brought up possibly moving on and seemed quite sad the rest of the conversation. Afterwards I texted her I’m happy we’re on the same page and that I miss her. I wouldn’t be surprised if I officially pushed her away. It's not a matter of 'pushing' her away so much as it is losing her respect. You sound desperate, needy, and wishy-washy. You've been orbiting around her for 17 days while she basically d*cks you around, and then you act as though she's given you a pound of gold when she finally breaks down and agrees to see you every 2 weeks. "We" aren't on the same page at all. Hell, she's not even reading the same book as you. She only broke down and agreed to minimal 'visitation' with you because you played the "I'm moving on" card. 2
chillii Posted January 16, 2019 Posted January 16, 2019 Ahhu. That's a wholeeee nother thing. And when she hasn't got her hands full she'd be so exhausted , that all makes much more sense. It's great that she was sad to shows she's probably so overwhelmed at home yet thinking about you and her calls could well be the best she can manage a lot of the time and blah blah . lf you really like her l'd be thinking in that case keep at it , l know you've been patient so far but your gonna need a lot more if you've ever been around a family with an autism kid . Up to you but if you can see her again anytime soon,if still interested , see how it goes.
preraph Posted January 16, 2019 Posted January 16, 2019 Yeah she has a two year old with autism. Actually just got off the phone and said she could try to commit to see me Atleast once every couple weeks. She seemed taken back when I brought this up. I got my answer but she seemed quite sad afterwards, I don’t know. This whole situation is completely above my head Well, she's just not ever going to be free to actually go out much at all. A two year old of any type is a 24/7 job. A two year old with autism is relentless, I would imagine. I think the only way she can ever have a relationship is to let a guy meet her kid too soon and then mostly only date at home at her house or maybe, depending on how her baby behaves, bringing the baby along. This is not a simple thing. This is a huge obstacle that she has no choice but to give all her time to her baby. 2
Author Thedubman Posted January 16, 2019 Author Posted January 16, 2019 Um, so she kinda sorta could maybe commit to seeing you 12-15 times per year? Maybe, kinda? Gosh, make sure you spend $200 on dinner every time you two go out, she really deserves it! Seriously man, is she like doing you a favor to grace you with her presence? This is like low interest -10 on her part. Your best scenario would be a free night out for her when she is stressed and doesn't have any money. If you think for a second that the 2-3 weeks between maybe, possibly seeing you that she isn't banging other guys, then enjoy. Otherwise you know the score, move on or play the game but don't be surprised by the outcome.. Yeah haha, even if she is banging other guys I’m seeing other women as well so I really could not get mad
Author Thedubman Posted January 16, 2019 Author Posted January 16, 2019 Well, she's just not ever going to be free to actually go out much at all. A two year old of any type is a 24/7 job. A two year old with autism is relentless, I would imagine. I think the only way she can ever have a relationship is to let a guy meet her kid too soon and then mostly only date at home at her house or maybe, depending on how her baby behaves, bringing the baby along. This is not a simple thing. This is a huge obstacle that she has no choice but to give all her time to her baby. Yeah, she had to bring her kid on the first date.
ChatroomHero Posted January 16, 2019 Posted January 16, 2019 . Yeah haha, even if she is banging other guys I’m seeing other women as well so I really could not get mad That's good. I think anything you invest this one will be a sunk cost based on what you described. Put the effort into the other women that appreciate it more.
preraph Posted January 16, 2019 Posted January 16, 2019 Yeah, she had to bring her kid on the first date. Yeah. You know, maybe she felt it was upsetting to her baby or something too. It's just not an easy thing. If you suggest anything and it's okay with you, offer to bring over pizza or something, but she can't just jump into a big relationship quickly and yet it's very hard for her to give it time to develop into something.
Highndry Posted January 16, 2019 Posted January 16, 2019 It's not a matter of 'pushing' her away so much as it is losing her respect. You sound desperate, needy, and wishy-washy. You've been orbiting around her for 17 days while she basically d*cks you around, and then you act as though she's given you a pound of gold when she finally breaks down and agrees to see you every 2 weeks. "We" aren't on the same page at all. Hell, she's not even reading the same book as you. She only broke down and agreed to minimal 'visitation' with you because you played the "I'm moving on" card. Hahaha - my new favorite commenter, Mrs. December!
Highndry Posted January 16, 2019 Posted January 16, 2019 Yeah she has a two year old with autism. Actually just got off the phone and said she could try to commit to see me Atleast once every couple weeks. She seemed taken back when I brought this up. I got my answer but she seemed quite sad afterwards, I don’t know. This whole situation is completely above my head Tell us about these phone calls - are you just an emotional dumping ground or is she retreating to the privacy of her bedroom, besotted by your masculine voice as she sheds her clothing for some adult activity? I don't want the details, of course, just the nature of what is really going on in this odd phone relationship where she calls you every day, yet doesn't want to see you in person.
Author Thedubman Posted January 16, 2019 Author Posted January 16, 2019 Yeah. You know, maybe she felt it was upsetting to her baby or something too. It's just not an easy thing. If you suggest anything and it's okay with you, offer to bring over pizza or something, but she can't just jump into a big relationship quickly and yet it's very hard for her to give it time to develop into something. It does seem like she wants to hang but truly can’t. Because of her situation something is telling me she’s not talking to any other guys as well, could be wrong but I don’t think so. I wouldn’t mind if she was, we’re not exclusive. I just know seeing each other twice a month is just not enough for any type of relationship to develop. I thought about that, how do I bring something like that up without it sounding creepy or like I’m trying to impose on her? After today though, I’ll probably Atleast wait a week before I bring up meeting up again
Author Thedubman Posted January 16, 2019 Author Posted January 16, 2019 Tell us about these phone calls - are you just an emotional dumping ground or is she retreating to the privacy of her bedroom, besotted by your masculine voice as she sheds her clothing for some adult activity? I don't want the details, of course, just the nature of what is really going on in this odd phone relationship where she calls you every day, yet doesn't want to see you in person. It’s none of that at all, we have a lot in common so it’s basically just small talk about things we’re both interested in. It never gets sexual.
Author Thedubman Posted January 16, 2019 Author Posted January 16, 2019 That's good. I think anything you invest this one will be a sunk cost based on what you described. Put the effort into the other women that appreciate it more. Was just on bumble (site we met), when we met she deleted her bumble account. Was just swiping on bumble and what do you know, her profile comes up lol. The reason she never wants to meet is because she’s prioritizing over dudes but wants to keep me in the back pocket. This makes the decision easy, not that she is seeing other guys but because she is lying to me of why she is so busy. I told this girl I’m still playing the field but wanted to date others till it was serious. Wow I feel like such a sucker, everyone here was right on the money and I refused to take the advice.
preraph Posted January 16, 2019 Posted January 16, 2019 It does seem like she wants to hang but truly can’t. Because of her situation something is telling me she’s not talking to any other guys as well, could be wrong but I don’t think so. I wouldn’t mind if she was, we’re not exclusive. I just know seeing each other twice a month is just not enough for any type of relationship to develop. I thought about that, how do I bring something like that up without it sounding creepy or like I’m trying to impose on her? After today though, I’ll probably Atleast wait a week before I bring up meeting up again As to the above, you told her you were still meeting other women, so why shouldn't she is what she was thinking. Doesn't mean you don't still at least ask and see if there's interest or not. She may have time to TALK to a bunch of guys, but she doesn't have time to see hardly anyone at all. She may be all talk and just socializing online because of her situation being stuck at home so much. If she is at all interested, I would think any advance offer, like the day before, of bringing her dinner so cooking was one less thing she had to do would be welcome, but don't expect to get sex out of this right away. Kiss, yes, but be respectful. Just because you get in her home or yours in this circumstance, it's out of necessity, not because you've reached that point it's time to have sex. I would tell her, Hey, I know you have trouble getting out of the house because of the little one. What time do you usually like to have your dinner and I'll bring over some pizza or something? All you can do is ask and see what she says. If she does keep declining even something this easy for her, then she isn't interested or feels she hasn't time for it. Good luck.
Author Thedubman Posted January 16, 2019 Author Posted January 16, 2019 It's not a matter of 'pushing' her away so much as it is losing her respect. You sound desperate, needy, and wishy-washy. You've been orbiting around her for 17 days while she basically d*cks you around, and then you act as though she's given you a pound of gold when she finally breaks down and agrees to see you every 2 weeks. "We" aren't on the same page at all. Hell, she's not even reading the same book as you. She only broke down and agreed to minimal 'visitation' with you because you played the "I'm moving on" card. I took your advice, feel so much better
Author Thedubman Posted January 16, 2019 Author Posted January 16, 2019 As to the above, you told her you were still meeting other women, so why shouldn't she is what she was thinking. Doesn't mean you don't still at least ask and see if there's interest or not. She may have time to TALK to a bunch of guys, but she doesn't have time to see hardly anyone at all. She may be all talk and just socializing online because of her situation being stuck at home so much. If she is at all interested, I would think any advance offer, like the day before, of bringing her dinner so cooking was one less thing she had to do would be welcome, but don't expect to get sex out of this right away. Kiss, yes, but be respectful. Just because you get in her home or yours in this circumstance, it's out of necessity, not because you've reached that point it's time to have sex. I would tell her, Hey, I know you have trouble getting out of the house because of the little one. What time do you usually like to have your dinner and I'll bring over some pizza or something? All you can do is ask and see what she says. If she does keep declining even something this easy for her, then she isn't interested or feels she hasn't time for it. Good luck. Thanks for the advice, I greatly appreciate it. Caught her in a couple lies and blocked her. Relieved it’s over, got a few new dates coming up. Have no clue why I got so desperate and needy with her when I do have options. I guess it was because we had so much in common. If she really wanted to see me should would of found the time
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