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Should I contact her? Or wait till she contacts me ?

t3000

By t3000
in General Relationship Discussion

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t3000 New Member

t3000

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So I met this girl a few months ago. We hit it off straight away, spent loads of time together and everything was going really well. She was going to LA in the new year for a month to get away and recharge. Obviously this was fine, we spoke about how amazing it was for her and about how we could continue and do loads of fun things when she gets back.

 

So the thing is she was dealing with some personal problems. Relating to old relationships. She also had a few very stressful work weeks were she was working 20 days straight. Around this time I could feel her slightly pulling away and getting a bit distant. The night before she went to LA, and me back home for Xmas. We went out, I could feel her being distant and distracted, and she apologizes said she had a lot to deal with but was trying. The night went on and we parted ways in a really positive and loving way. The next she txt me wishing me a safe trip.

 

So that was the last I heard from her. I sent a message on Christmas Day, just wishing her merry Xmas. A few days after that she posted a long message on social media talking about what she’d gone through this year, so again I just sent a nice positive message of support. But I never receive a response from either. I know that she needed to disconnect, and figure her stuff out. I also know that she like me, so maybe the emotion of both just got too much.

 

I’ve haven’t sent any messages or been in contact, and have just got on with life over the past few weeks. About 10 days ago she did like a pic I posted of myself on Insta (she’s actually never like any posted before. but I know not to read to much into that) Anyway I feel we’re in stalemate, following each other on Instagram I can see she is getting back to her strong fun self. She’ll be back in 10 days, and I was wondering if I should just txt her saying what’s up, how are you etc, or should I just leave it and let her contact me. ( knowing her I m also worried she may think that I m pissed off because she ghosted me, but I get life’s tough sometimes and don’t hold it against her)

 

Sorry for the essay

 

What do you guys reckon?

 

Thanks

clia Established Member

clia

Posted
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IMO, you have nothing to lose by texting her in a couple of weeks, once she's back and settled. If she doesn't respond, then you have your answer.

  • Like 1
PRW Established Member

PRW

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There is no stalemate.

So the thing is she was dealing with some personal problems. Relating to old relationships. ................ I could feel her being distant and distracted, and she apologizes said she had a lot to deal with but was trying.
Women need a new plan. This one is really old and worn out. If a chick is really hot for you,...she won't even remember she had an Ex. What this means is that you are "OK". You are "ok" to date, but just not super exciting. So if you don't make any mistakes things might grow, but if you make mistakes (hand-wringing, timidity, being a follower, while yet over-persuing) then you will get dumped and it will probably come in the form of the Ghosting.
A few days after that she posted a long message on social media talking about what she’d gone through this year,
Take note that she didn't send it directly to you, it was a general post
so again I just sent a nice positive message of support. But I never receive a response from either.
Exactly. You are walking on thin ice. Stop with the prodding. You are falling for the "Allusion of Action", that you have to keep doing something,...or she will somehow forget about you. The truth is that it will be more powerful if she misses you a bit. Women fall in love with men when they are NOT with them. But you are clouding that with "noise".
I know that she needed to disconnect, and figure her stuff out.
Except that you didn't let her do that.
I’ve haven’t sent any messages or been in contact, and have just got on with life over the past few weeks.
Good.
About 10 days ago she did like a pic I posted of myself on Insta (she’s actually never like any posted before. but I know not to read to much into that)
Correct. It is a positive thing but don't make too much out of it.
She’ll be back in 10 days, and I was wondering if I should just txt her saying what’s up, how are you etc, or should I just leave it and let her contact me.
What's up? How are you? That is totally weak and needy sounding. No, she probably won't contact you. She is coming back in 10 days. When she gets back contact her and offer her a date. No screwing around, no beating around the bush, no dancing in circles, you just set a date for a specific day/time/place. She doesn't want to hear any "would you like to maybe..", you need to present it as an offer (not as a question) and it needs to be a specific day/time/place.
d0nnivain Established Member

d0nnivain

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I'd reach out once she is back & try to set something up. If she's non-responsive you have your answer.

  • Like 1
Fekenaws Established Member

Fekenaws

Posted
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Ask her on a date when she gets back, but tbh she doesnt seem interested

Mr. Lucky Established Member

Mr. Lucky

Posted
Posted (edited)
( knowing her I m also worried she may think that I m pissed off because she ghosted me, but I get life’s tough sometimes and don’t hold it against her)

 

She ghosted you, and you think she's still thinking about you? Delusional, my friend.

 

Why isn't accepting the fact you've been put on ignore an option? Had she said to your face "please, no contact", would you still be pursuing her?

 

I never quite understand the inability to let go in these situations...

 

Mr. Lucky

Edited by Mr. Lucky
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