4 months no contact aftermath

[Kensyyy]

I have unfriended her on social media and did my own within the months. She was the dumper. I have moved on and started to talk to other girls. Prior to the breakup, she wanted to be friends and I didn't. After the months of moving on, I added her on snapchat and she added me back. Right away she told me she got in a panic attack at (3am) when I was adding her and she is still a friend on the app from today. I texted her today saying I know we are both busy but I was wondering if we can catch up.

 

She later said "I am going to block you if you don't and snapchat or "don't hmu anymore". She said whats done is done, its been months and she told me to move on.

 

I did move on, therefore I ended it with saying "I was trying to be friends that's cool". Why would she add me back and be rude towards me and get in a panic attack, although she hasn't deleted me yet. During the relationship after a month after she wasn't like this. We were both nice to each other, after couple of weeks I unfollowed her for healing and added her back after months she gives me this.

 

The point is she said do not hmu or msg me or I will block you, but we are still friends on social media. Why accept the request in the first place then and straight away msg me all this. Why is she angry at me, when its over and its been a while. Shouldn't emotions such as anger be gone? She wanted to watch a movie with me after the breakup, but I unfriended her. She also still has my hoodie and items.

Breakup reason: she felt like she couldn't vent towards me.

Edited January 14, 2019 by Kensyyy

[Marc878]

Why are you contacting her?

 

She dumped you which is all you needed to know.

 

Trying to remain friends with an X especially a dumper is a real bad idea

 

All you're doing is keeping yourself in this.

 

Block her on everything and permanently move on.

[ExpatInItaly]

I have no clue why you adding her on social media would trigger a panic attack. Was she unstable while you two were dating? Had she had panic attacks before?

 

Maybe she was with another guy when your message came through and she wanted to show him that she could put you in your place or something.

 

It's all a lot of drama with absolutely zero reward for you. I would delete her off all social media so you can move on. If you want your belongings back, arrange for a friend to pick them up from her.

[Fekenaws]

First of all, since she was the dumper it was on her to contact you, not the other way around. But what's done is done.

 

Now, as for why she's angry, there could be plenty of reasons, but none of us are mind readers. What you need to recognize is that the opposite of love isn't hatred or anger, it's indifference. The fact that she still feels anything indicates that she isn't over the relationship for whatever reason. This does not mean she wants to come back, it just means she hasn't finished processing it. It is possible that your No Contact left her shell-shocked.

 

You see, No Contact is to help you get back on your feet and move on. By denying her "friendship" offer she made in the beginning, you forced her to weather the breakup on her own and made her own recovery more painful. It was purely a selfish move on her part to make the offer and that's why everyone and their mother tell you to reject such advances in the aftermath of a breakup. You shouldn't ever help your ex through a breakup, it's rewarding bad behavior.

 

If you want my 50 cents I'd just slide back into No Contact, I reckon you'll hear from her again sometime in the future.

[Kensyyy]

I have no clue why you adding her on social media would trigger a panic attack. Was she unstable while you two were dating? Had she had panic attacks before?

 

Maybe she was with another guy when your message came through and she wanted to show him that she could put you in your place or something.

 

It's all a lot of drama with absolutely zero reward for you. I would delete her off all social media so you can move on. If you want your belongings back, arrange for a friend to pick them up from her.

 

She had depression and anxiety, when younger and took medication and she does have panic attacks. And my gut feeling is saying she is seeing someone. Does she think that I haven't moved on?

Edited January 15, 2019 by Kensyyy

[loversquarrel]

Trust your gut, she is seeing someone. Now why did she get rude....maybe because you asked to see her to catch up. Another reason why ex's shouldn't bother trying to be friends. Invest this time and energy into someone else.

[Kensyyy]

Trust your gut, she is seeing someone. Now why did she get rude....maybe because you asked to see her to catch up. Another reason why ex's shouldn't bother trying to be friends. Invest this time and energy into someone else.

 

Yea, she is seeing someone... I found out through a mutual friend.

[manfrombelow2]

What women verbally express does not neccesarily be in match with their real thoughts. So don't pay much attention to what she said, but only look at the following facts:

 

1/ She dumped you. She's the dumper.

 

2/ You made it clear a friendship is not what you want. It's either a romantic relationship or no relationships at all. (This is correct behaviour from your side).

 

3/ You went No Contact.

 

So, just keep the No Contact alive for as long as you can. You do it not because you're expecting her to come back but because it's the only correct option for dumpees after getting dumped.

 

If I were you, I'd block her on social medias and everywhere else. Because that helps make the NC easier.

[Chi townD]

Yea, she is seeing someone... I found out through a mutual friend.

 

Well, there you go! Block her. You have no reason to have her on your snapchat. Block her and move on.