Katiebug27 Posted September 16, 2005 Posted September 16, 2005 Hey everyone,my name is kate and I'm 27 years old. I'm new to this forum and need some help with whats up with my husband. A little background history first. My husband is 29 and I'm 27, we have been married for 5 years, and have no kids. About a year ago my husband had an affair that lasted for about 3 months. With alot of soul searching and marriage counseling, I came to grips with what happened and decided I loved him and could forgive him, so we stayed together. Things seem to be fine or so I thought until his weird behavior started, which was a few weeks ago. I was next door at my neighbors house talking to her and her husband about fall plants/flowers etc. I wasn't gone but maybe 15-20 minutes. I came in the door and my husband was sitting on the couch having a snack. When I came in the door he got up came over to me, bent down and started sniffing me down there. As he calls it my "pooh" I'm sure you all know what I mean. I laughed and asked him what he was doing, and that he looked like a dog sniffing another. He then tells me, hes not a dog and he was just checking it out? WTF?? I passed it off as him being silly. The problem is he is still doing it. Not all the time everyday, but more so than not. He does it various times. I can be coming in from work, or in the kitchen cooking. Getting in the shower/out of the shower. So last night I was on the phone to my sister that lives in Utah, and right as I was getting off the phone he comes up to me and sniffs me again! I told him I had had it, and wanted to know why he was doing this. I asked him if this was his new fetish? He tells me no, and that once again he says, "I'm just checking it out!" I think the man has flipped his lid! I did some thinking last night, and thought maybe this is either one of two things. Either he is cheating again, and think I might be (which I'm not), or he feels so guilty from the affair he had, he thinks I may go out and do the same thing, I don't know. I do know its driving me crazy and getting on my nerves. I can say that back before I found out about the affair he did not display any signs that I saw that would have led me to believe he was cheating, and he damned sure wasn't sniffing my pooh! Can anyone help shed some light on why hes doing this? I do not get a straight or legit answer from him other than, "just checking it out." Like I said hes never done this up until a few weeks ago. Someone help me out. Thanks so much.
MAINMAN1 Posted September 17, 2005 Posted September 17, 2005 welcome to the forums .. I am new here too. It kinda sounds like your man might be doing the whole sniffing thing (and from the sounds of it totally embarassing himself and making you uncomfortable) because since the affair he has locked onto this as a way to - show affection/sexual attraction to you in a way he thinks is completley cute, welcome, and innocent ... Sometimes I see guys do things that somehow they think in their screwed up brains is cool or funny or whatever. Sounds like dude is a perv at heart, and is trying too hard to me, but I admit it is pretty strange. You gotta let him know it turns you off because the affair has resurfaced in your mind and thats not good.
JadeStar Posted September 19, 2005 Posted September 19, 2005 I have heard of people displaying some odd behavior when feeling guilty for something, but this takes the cake. Tell him this is not a scratch and sniff party, and that he needs to knock it off. I think his excuse for his "sniffing" is weak and lame. Try to get to the bottom of why he feels the need to do that. Jade
Outcast Posted September 19, 2005 Posted September 19, 2005 A LS member used to sniff her own. Whatever floats yer boat...
NTB Posted September 19, 2005 Posted September 19, 2005 I have heard of people displaying some odd behavior when feeling guilty for something, but this takes the cake. Tell hm this is not a scratch and sniff party, and that he needs to knock it off. Jade sniffing party :lmao: maybe he might think you are having an affair?? i only say this because i know some of my buddies say they can tell if a girl has been cheating because the way her "pooh" smells something about it changes or something........i really don't beleive this but they swear by it so maybe that is what your husband is thinking either that or he's lost his marbles
katiebug27 Posted September 19, 2005 Posted September 19, 2005 Thanks for replying. outcast, a member here used to do that? Ok well thats fine, but I had never heard of someone doing it to another. Anyway, had a nice long talk with hubby over the weekend. Right after I started doing to him what he was doing to me. Yep thats right I sniffed him. He didn't like it either! So When I asked what the deal was with the sniffing, he told me it was a joke. Oh really? Well wonder why he didn't tell me that the first few times I asked? Anyway I told him reguardless of why he was doing it, it was silly and I didn't like it. I also told him he had no reason to be doing that. He told me he understands and that he wont do it again. I do think maybe hes doing it out of guilt from the past, because maybe he thinks I'll go out and do what he did. I don't see any other signs as far as him cheating again but maybe it just stems from what he had done before. I still think its odd. Maybe hes got some more issues I don't know about that needs to be addressed, I don't know. Thanks again.
newbby Posted September 19, 2005 Posted September 19, 2005 does he always do it just when you have been out?
RainyDayWoman Posted September 19, 2005 Posted September 19, 2005 regardless, i think he needs counseling. this is not normal, and i would be very distubred and very quick to end a relationship with someone who insisted on doing this to me. ew. what an immature bothermonster.
alphamale Posted September 19, 2005 Posted September 19, 2005 I laughed and asked him what he was doing, and that he looked like a dog sniffing another. He then tells me, hes not a dog and he was just checking it out? WTF?? Have you thought about adopting a little friend of the canine persuasion, KATIEBUG27? Then your hubby can sniff his little dog's rear end to his hearts content
katiebug27 Posted September 19, 2005 Posted September 19, 2005 newbby, no he doesn't just do that when I have been out. My orginal post said that he has even done it while I was on the phone with my sister. Had not even been out at all that day. RainyDay, I agree I think if he keeps it up I'm gonna suggest some counseling for him. However, we talked this weekend and he said he wouldn't do it again. So far he hasn't, hope it doesn't start up again though. Alpha, haha yeah might just solve the problem, (doubt it)
Lil Honey Posted September 19, 2005 Posted September 19, 2005 If he's going to behave like a dog, you should get a rolled up newspaper. I think he is trying to find out if you smell like you've been unfaithful. (I don't know about the whole pooh-changing-odor thing. In fact, I don't wanna know. I think it's not just "a little off the wall" but "completely off the wall."
alphamale Posted September 19, 2005 Posted September 19, 2005 I think he is trying to find out if you smell like you've been unfaithful. You mean like trying to smell another man's semen in her *****?
JadeStar Posted September 19, 2005 Posted September 19, 2005 It sounds like to me thats what hes doing, is trying to see if you have like a sex scent on you from another man. However you said that he did it when you were on the phone and you had not even left the house that day? That doesn't make sense then if you had not even been out. Strange man, very strange:confused: Jade
933KJL Posted September 19, 2005 Posted September 19, 2005 Go to Taco Bell, scarf down a few Burritos with the Fire Sauce and next time he sniffs your "pooh" turn around, fire one off and give him something to smell! BTW, I only read this post because I thought it was something more literal and said to myself, "self, you have officially now seen it all"
katiebug27 Posted September 19, 2005 Posted September 19, 2005 Well if thats what he is trying to do is to see if I have been with someone else, then maybe I should let him keep on sniffing then, cuz he wont find that smell on me. He was the one that cheated before, not me. Guess he thinks I will, but I'm not like that. I thought things were going ok, and they were until this started up. Thanks again for your replies.
Outcast Posted September 19, 2005 Posted September 19, 2005 I was afraid to read it in case it was about what the title said it was
whichwayisup Posted September 19, 2005 Posted September 19, 2005 If he's going to behave like a dog, you should get a rolled up newspaper. That's funny actually and will get the point across. Tell him, "Bad boy!" smack his butt, then put him in the doghouse in the backyard!
crazy_grl Posted September 19, 2005 Posted September 19, 2005 That's funny actually and will get the point across. Tell him, "Bad boy!" smack his butt, then put him in the doghouse in the backyard! That's not necessarily a safe move. Think of the shock you'd be in for if you found out it turns him on!
sundrop Posted September 19, 2005 Posted September 19, 2005 That's not necessarily a safe move. Think of the shock you'd be in for if you found out it turns him on! Now that's funny, I don't care who you are, that's funny.....
RainyDayWoman Posted September 20, 2005 Posted September 20, 2005 That's not necessarily a safe move. Think of the shock you'd be in for if you found out it turns him on! i thought the same thing. encouraging someone this unstable can't be a good idea.
whichwayisup Posted September 20, 2005 Posted September 20, 2005 i thought the same thing. encouraging someone this unstable can't be a good idea. Just because he does this, sniffing her, doesn't mean he's unstable.
RainyDayWoman Posted September 20, 2005 Posted September 20, 2005 Just because he does this, sniffing her, doesn't mean he's unstable. see, i totally disagree. if the situations were different and he did it once or twice to freak her out or be funny, i would think it was just a joke or a passing (annoying) thing. but the way it's described, this "adult" male is not quite right in the head. to me, of course. i am sure there are some people who may think this is totally normally. i just don't.
Art_Critic Posted September 20, 2005 Posted September 20, 2005 This thread cracks me up For whatever reason this guy is doing it.. If his wife wants him to stop then she needs to ask him and he needs to respect her and stop. No different that if he raised his leg and farted in the living room in front of someone. Rude yes, Crude yes .. something wrong with his head no.. it is just odd behavior that she would / should ask him to stop If something bothers someone then it is a problem.
RainyDayWoman Posted September 20, 2005 Posted September 20, 2005 This thread cracks me up For whatever reason this guy is doing it.. If his wife wants him to stop then she needs to ask him and he needs to respect her and stop. No different that if he raised his leg and farted in the living room in front of someone. Rude yes, Crude yes .. something wrong with his head no.. it is just odd behavior that she would / should ask him to stop If something bothers someone then it is a problem. well, farting is gross in itself, but sometimes really has to be done. it can be done discreetly, but often...is not:lmao: ....physically invading someone's private areas with their nose is just way...beyond. it does not have to be done, and there is no way to not do that in a crude way to someone who doesn't appreciate it.
whichwayisup Posted September 20, 2005 Posted September 20, 2005 I see your point, but I still don't think he's unstable. Abit odd, but not unstable.
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