edgygirl Posted January 12, 2019 Posted January 12, 2019 (edited) What does it mean when a man tells you on a 3rd date that he "gets attached easily". I responded that I do too, but only when I really like someone, which is rare - to which he concurred. But it got me thinking - what does such a phrase means for a man? For reference - he's early 40s. Edited January 12, 2019 by edgygirl
manfrombelow2 Posted January 12, 2019 Posted January 12, 2019 Maybe he's honest, maybe he's slipped his mouth because that's not really an attrative thing to say to a woman during early dates, anyway I wouldn't care too much about it. But, for a man in his 40's to say such a line during early dates, I think he's being honest.
Artdeco Posted January 12, 2019 Posted January 12, 2019 He probably likes you, and was too shy to say it more directly. Is my guess. 1
JuneL Posted January 12, 2019 Posted January 12, 2019 It means YOU get attached to this guy easily! You’re over-analyzing one innocuous sentence said by the guy already. 3
alphamale Posted January 12, 2019 Posted January 12, 2019 it means he has minimal experience with women 1
PRW Posted January 12, 2019 Posted January 12, 2019 He is warning you ahead of time that he has a history of being a clinger in an attempt to soften the impact on you if he starts to exhibit those tendencies. He is probably trying not to do that, to be better about it, and to self improve. But he knows that he often fails and starts to "cling". Clinging obviously is just a symptom of insecurity (fearfulness) and a lack of confidence. It is up to you what you want to do with that, but that is what I see the situation as. Maybe you could both try agreeing to allow the other one "the right" to point out any of those behavors early when you see them in each other. Maybe that will nip it in the bud before the behavors escalate and become a problem. Once two people become more used to each other over time the insecurities may fade and the behavor fades with it. Just a thought. 2
Author edgygirl Posted January 12, 2019 Author Posted January 12, 2019 He actually said he was on the promiscuous side in his younger years but is looking for different things now i.e. a real relationship. Also, he's been married before. I am the same if I do say so myself In my youth I've been around. it means he has minimal experience with women
Author edgygirl Posted January 12, 2019 Author Posted January 12, 2019 Interesting good points, thank you PRW. It helps to hear from males on this. I wish I could edit my thread, I think he didn't say "easily", only that he "gets attached" or so. Not sure if it makes a difference though. He doesn't seem like a clinger from the few interactions we've had though. The below makes sense. In one hand, I don't think I'd be bothered to be with someone I like who's also affectionate and on the somewhat "clingy" side, as I've been looking for love for so long now. But I get it that it's not that healthy. Maybe you could both try agreeing to allow the other one "the right" to point out any of those behavors early when you see them in each other. Maybe that will nip it in the bud before the behavors escalate and become a problem. Once two people become more used to each other over time the insecurities may fade and the behavor fades with it. Just a thought.
AriesDude Posted January 12, 2019 Posted January 12, 2019 well can mean many things for a somewhat older man but in 95% of the case just means: -he gets offended if he doesnt receive lots of texts or calls -after you or he mentions "i like you" he would want to meet up frequently -he is gonna ask a lot of personal/deep questions early in any relationship(which is one of the reasons he gets attached so fast) so how you answer those could make/break the relationship. -he might not rush any progress ex. kissing, holding hands, sleeping together and all that but he's not exactly gonna be super patient either. yeah and lots of other things which will make my reply butt long so not gonna name em all. In short. He could be an over analyzing or very open minded or just merely very trustworthy person giving people the benefit of the doubt until shown differently. Not necessarily bad but yea might be a sensitive guy most likely... just my op-onion 1
MetallicHue Posted January 12, 2019 Posted January 12, 2019 I can get kind of clingy with friends. It all starts off normal and then gets progressively worse. I’m doing my best to work on it but just to warn you things can seem ok and then become stage 5 clinger overnite. It’s obviously not the same as dating but for someone with OCD I can relate to this. 1
Malin889 Posted January 12, 2019 Posted January 12, 2019 (edited) He probably likes you, and was too shy to say it more directly. Is my guess. I don’t know... I would think it would be better to say “I like you” rather than “I get attached”— Saying I get attached has a negative connotation to it. See what happens on the next date. And I know your other thread you mentioned canceling the date with the other guy but don’t. Don’t put all your eggs in this guy’s basket just yet. Edited January 12, 2019 by Malin889
alphamale Posted January 12, 2019 Posted January 12, 2019 He actually said he was on the promiscuous side in his younger years... look out for STDs and maybe crabs 1
Author edgygirl Posted January 12, 2019 Author Posted January 12, 2019 Honestly you are practically describing him in some points below lol Thanks. Do you know him? haha. /kidding He doesn't seem to be into texting all the time except for the pre-dates phase, but he did mention yesterday that he liked me, already booked the next date tomorrow, and he does ask extremely deep and personal questions since date #1. I like that, cause it shows me he's serious about finding something real. He's very affectionate and loves kissing and holding hands, he's also sexy, but he doesn't seem to be pushing for sex. Side question: is that a certain type of guy as in - the "sensitive" kind of guy? I am not that familiar with this type. well can mean many things for a somewhat older man but in 95% of the case just means: -he gets offended if he doesnt receive lots of texts or calls -after you or he mentions "i like you" he would want to meet up frequently -he is gonna ask a lot of personal/deep questions early in any relationship(which is one of the reasons he gets attached so fast) so how you answer those could make/break the relationship. -he might not rush any progress ex. kissing, holding hands, sleeping together and all that but he's not exactly gonna be super patient either. yeah and lots of other things which will make my reply butt long so not gonna name em all. In short. He could be an over analyzing or very open minded or just merely very trustworthy person giving people the benefit of the doubt until shown differently. Not necessarily bad but yea might be a sensitive guy most likely... just my op-onion
Author edgygirl Posted January 12, 2019 Author Posted January 12, 2019 :lmao: he should look for that too. Kidding. I tested and am clean. The tropical country we both come from is... how can I put it? Sexy. People are very passionate, so I'm not surprised. He's an introvert though, so I get the type... that guy who seats on the sidelines but then gets all the women. look out for STDs and maybe crabs
Author edgygirl Posted January 12, 2019 Author Posted January 12, 2019 He did say he likes me Oh I am not cancelling tonight's date with the other guy. I'm just cancelling the possible second date tomorrow that he asked me to leave the day open in case we have chemistry on today's date. And yes you're right - not putting all eggs in one basket. The only time I'll stop dating others is when there's an exclusivity talk. I don’t know... I would think it would be better to say “I like you” rather than “I get attached”— Saying I get attached has a negative connotation to it. See what happens on the next date. And I know your other thread you mentioned canceling the date with the other guy but don’t. Don’t put all your eggs in this guy’s basket just yet.
Author edgygirl Posted January 12, 2019 Author Posted January 12, 2019 Owch. Thanks for sharing MetallicHue. I can get kind of clingy with friends. It all starts off normal and then gets progressively worse. I’m doing my best to work on it but just to warn you things can seem ok and then become stage 5 clinger overnite. It’s obviously not the same as dating but for someone with OCD I can relate to this.
Eternal Sunshine Posted January 12, 2019 Posted January 12, 2019 (edited) It means that he likes being in a relationship and will get attached to anyone offering that. It means that he is not picky. My ex said that he got progressively more clingy as months went on. When things ended he found someone immediately, got dumped and is now seeing someone else. Basically, he will take anyone and proclaim to be in love in the first 1-2 months. Edited January 12, 2019 by Eternal Sunshine 1
Author edgygirl Posted January 12, 2019 Author Posted January 12, 2019 Could be Eternal Sunshine, I'm yet to find out, but he's been divorced for 6 years and I don't think he's been in a relationship in quite a while.
AriesDude Posted January 12, 2019 Posted January 12, 2019 Side question: is that a certain type of guy as in - the "sensitive" kind of guy? I am not that familiar with this type. Lol no dont know him haha. Have just seen men almost like that hundreds of times. and no by sensitive i just mean most guys that get attached too fast have a squishy heart...so be nice to him but also please be careful. squishy heart doesnt mean he is stupid 1
Author edgygirl Posted January 12, 2019 Author Posted January 12, 2019 Aww. Thanks AriesDude. Side note: Looked at your profile, you're ENFP like me So now I know why you get the squishy heart guys Lol no dont know him haha. Have just seen men almost like that hundreds of times. and no by sensitive i just mean most guys that get attached too fast have a squishy heart...so be nice to him but also please be careful. squishy heart doesnt mean he is stupid 1
Gretchen12 Posted January 12, 2019 Posted January 12, 2019 I'm not a guy but in the past when I've said it, it was to let the guy know he's "safe" to let down his guard. If I admit to vulnerability, then he might feel ok to be vulnerable too. For me that's all it was, nothing about anyone being clingy. 1
brent878 Posted January 13, 2019 Posted January 13, 2019 It means he's being honest and gets attached to women that he likes. Nothing to read into here. If he is in love with you, he will tell you. You should feel free to open up to him if you like him back. It doesn't mean any of the other speculative things people have posted. I get attached easily. It doesn't mean I'm "not picky". I am extremely picky. But when I find someone I like I do fall hard and fast. So just be careful with his feelings. It doesn't mean he's clingy or a weirdo. It means he is authentic and genuine and probably would make a very loyal and solid partner. 2
Author edgygirl Posted January 13, 2019 Author Posted January 13, 2019 (edited) Thank you brent Appreciate this. He doesn't seem like the clinger non-picky type at all, so this makes a lot of sense. Edited January 13, 2019 by edgygirl
grays Posted January 13, 2019 Posted January 13, 2019 I’m with brent and see this as more likely a positive than negative. Maybe there is a slight warning not to lead him on if you’re not interested. And I do think it’s something a person would only say if they saw a possibility or likelihood of getting attached, ie, he likes you.
brent878 Posted January 13, 2019 Posted January 13, 2019 yeah leading on someone who admits to getting attached is an absolute monster move, so all I'd say is be very direct and clear if you're not into it, but otherwise, enjoy having a man who knows what he wants and is willing to give you his heart
Recommended Posts